MAGA pastor claims Tucker Carlson's departure was due to demonic forces, not advertiser boycotts or misogynistic remarks

MAGA pastor Shane Vaughn has a batphone direct to God. And he knows the real reason why Tucker Carlson is gone. It wasn't that Carlson's advertisers had pulled out or that he was on record describing women colleagues in the most offensive terms imaginable or that he considered himself more important than Rupert Murdoch; no, it was those pesky demons that gave Tucker Carlson his walking papers.

"Tucker Carlson is gone because of spiritual warfare," he yelled into his microphone. "I want you to listen closely to me. There is something much bigger than the elites. There's something much bigger than Charles Schwab, George Soros, or Rupert Murdoch.

"There is something that is working for the destruction of America," he said as his lips took on the shape of two earthworms in a mating ritual. "It works in the background. You don't see it. You like to call it the Cabal, all the podcasters love to talk to you about the Cabal, they love to talk around about Black Rock, and that's fine, and it's all true. But ladies and gentlemen, you are focusing on the symptoms, rather than the disease. And until you can see beyond Q, you got to get past the letter Q. And you got to get to the letter Alpha and Omega, see. Beyond all of that, there are some people that know what's going on, and we know how to fight against it because we know that Tucker Carlson was a victim of demonic power. And these demons are bringing America under attack."

Let us raise a stein of Ultra Right Beer to the very stable genius Pastor Vaughn, a luminary in these dark times, whose spiritual prowess will be the stuff of legend for generations to come.