Matt Gaetz "to run for Florida governor"

Matt Gaetz, light of his own life, fire of his own loins. His sin, his soul. Matt-Ga-etz: the lip and the tongue and the uvula flapping to return at three in a hiss through the teeth. Matt Gaetz. He was Matt, plain Matt, in Congress, standing sex feet one in the second-worst suit you ever saw. He was Matthew Louis Gaetz II in court papers. He was Florida Governor Matt Gaetz on the state letterhead. But he was always a wanker.

The idea that Rep. Matt Gaetz will run for Florida governor in 2026 has been the topic of several conversations in Tallahassee over the past few days, including during a reception Sunday night for the incoming speaker of the Florida House.

Gaetz has long been considered on the shortlist of those who will try to seek the Republican nomination for governor, a field that is expected to be crowded because the incumbent, Ron DeSantis, will be facing term limits. DeSantis is currently running for president but would have two years remaining in the governor's mansion if that run falls short.

He hates DeSantis, which is funny, but it hardly means anything. To extend the joke beyond any semblance of craft: forget it, Jake, it's Florida.