Nothing about Gov. Ron DeSantis — the robotic smile, the flicking tongue, the angry retorts, the awkward tip-toeing around — says normal. But it all makes a lot more sense once you get inside his head, which The Daily Show satirically managed to do while the Florida man was waiting on stage at Wednesday night's debate.
"Remember Ron, you are normal, you are not weird. You are 5'11". Your suit is soft and your shoes are grown-up big boy shoes," DeSantis thought to himself as he tried to shrug off his stinkin' thinkin'. "That's it, pretend you're listening to music, human music. Good. Check the phone, normal style. Activate conversation mode. Hello, you're busy. Okay, love you. Bye."
After a momentary glitch, which translated into beeps, DeSantis got a hold of himself. "Come on Ron, be normal. You are not a bobblehead with a dry mouth, you are a big boy with a wet mouth. Activate head turn, activate toothless smile. Good, very good. Activate hand gesture. Good, that's better," he continued. "Remember, you are Ron DeSantis, you aren't just normal, you're also totally not weird."
But then the debate started, before he had a chance to complete his Stuart Smalley-inspired daily affirmation: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me." Better luck next time. (See video below, posted by Ron Filipkowski.)
