Ladies and gentlemen, gather 'round. In a new three-minute video, our felonious former Commander-in-Chief shows off his unparalleled talent for mispronouncing, mangling, and outright blanking on the names of friends and enemies alike.
I've never seen someone do such a great job of pretending to forget people's names. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he was suffering severe memory problems. But this isn't some unfortunate case of early-onset memory loss. No, this is Trump doing what he does best: being such a sociopathic narcissist that he never bothered to commit anyone's name to memory, other than his girlfriend Ivanka. When you're a solipsist, you can call anyone anything because they are just a figment of your imagination. Elaine, your name is now Elise. If you don't like it, I'll banish you to the cornfield on the far side of my imagination where I put things I don't like anymore.
And boy, do his fans love it. They lap up his lapses like they are the last Chick-fil-A nuggets on the planet. It's like watching a magician who keeps dropping the rabbit but still gets a standing ovation.
Here's a man who once claimed he had the "best words" but now can't string together the names of his own cronies. Masterful gambit, sir.
Previously:
• Trump's 'God Bless the USA' Bible deletes women's voting rights and slavery amendments
