Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC), in a blind panic because his nose wasn't quite brown enough to please his god-emperor, announced he's drafting legislation to create a $250 bill featuring the pouting visage of Donald J. Trump.
"Bidenflation has destroyed the economy forcing American families to carry more cash," Wilson explained on Twitter. The fake news, and reality itself, would suggest most Americans use these newfangled things called "credit cards" and "digital payments" these days. But Rep. Joe knows better, because mediocre white men with unwavering loyalty to power always do.
You see, Joe has heroically identified that the real problem with inflation isn't housing costs or grocery prices — it's the unbearable burden Americans face when having to fold too many $100 bills into their purses and wallets.
"Most valuable bill for most valuable President!" Wilson concluded, demonstrating his remarkable ability to tweet while simultaneously giving the sole of Trump's shoe a thorough tongue bath.
The proposal leaves us with so many questions. Will the bills automatically devalue themselves after filing for bankruptcy? Will they only be redeemable for merchandise sold at Trump hotel gift shops? Will they spontaneously multiply in offshore accounts but disappear when tax season arrives? Do they feature a scratch-off panel revealing which porn star was paid with them?
In the pantheon of craven political gestures, this one deserves special recognition for its magnificent fusion of economic illiteracy and theatrical fawning. Bravo, Congressman Wilson. Your commitment to cringeworthy self-abasement remains unmatched in a field of impressively shameless competitors.
Previously:
• More Sacha Baron Cohen funnies: getting wingnuts to endorse 'kinder-guardians' program to arm 3-year-olds
