HOWTO make delicious, beautiful unhealthy food out of gross, unhealthy fast-food

The Fancy Fast Food blog is dedicated to remixing horrible fast food so that it looks and tastes great, even it still has all the nutritive value of a sack of greasy, heavily salted fiberglass. Here's tortellini made from a pair of Taco Bell Fancy Burrito Supremes:

Think outside the tortilla. Carefully unwrap the Burrito Supremes and soft taco, and extract their stuffings in a bowl. Carefully rinse off each of the tortillas, and then briefly steam them in a steamer to soften and moisten them. Then lay each tortilla on a cutting board and cut circles in it using a small circular cookie cutter, or simply an empty tin can measuring around 2 1/2" in diameter. Take the filling and put a small amount in each small tortilla circle, then fold it in half and pinch it into a tortellini shape. The moisture should keep it sticky enough to stay put. Pile the tortellinis on a plate. Next, cut open and pour the contents of the sauce packets in a measuring cup, then generously drizzle the sauce over the tortellini. Garnish with parsley and serve with Sierra Mist in a wine glass.

Fancy Fast Food (via Kottke)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

MORE: Cooking • Food • Funny • maker

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Hal

this is vile – where’s our unicorn?
ZincOrange

If you want to put this food through a Gross Meter, call Sanjaya !
busydoingnothing

Man, so much hate. Am I the only one who thinks this is very clever? Fast food hacks…not too shabby.
DWittSF

#9 – uh, wrong. Go read some Marion Nestle and come back when you actually know wtf you’re talking about.
TooGoodToCheck

@BusyDoingNothing

Yeah, it’s quite clever. Still, I can understand the visceral revulsion that’s probably driving some of the hate. Taking something that is quite bad to eat, and dressing it up nice feels sort of. . . deceitful? Almost malign?

It hits the same nerve as if someone made a beautiful toy out of a landmine. This is obviously not as bad. But that feeling of something bad dressed up as something good does kind of grate on the subconscious.
nanner

@ #17 if it causes such a gut reaction maybe it supports my theory that this is art ;) Like #1′s idea of the poo sculpture lol Yes, it is making people talk about how VILE fast food is. How many of you feed fast food to your kids?

you all HAVE to give props to the creativity involved here though, come on!!
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Yes, it is making people talk about how VILE fast food is.
  
  Beyond that, it points out that you really have no idea what you’re eating if you didn’t make it yourself. Plenty of expensive restaurants or home-cooking joints are serving nicely arranged slop that cam out of five-gallon cans in the kitchen.
Anonymous

Hey, you can’t do that !

Modifying what you bought from taco bell violates the DMCA ! You are only allowed to consume it.
Anonymous

That’s cool!

I had an idea once for a cooking show focused entirely on reheating items from the frozen food section. If the host is entertaining, it’s really the same as any other cooking show if you think about it, because nobody cooks that stuff anyway!
Thalia

Pretty? Sure. But delicious? Not unless they changed the gross filling for something edible. It’s beautiful, but disgusting. Kind of like a shit sculpture.
Cory Doctorow

@1 I think it’s likely that anything made of fat, sugar, starch and salt will be “delicious” at least inasmuch as it generates brain reward.
Ian70

So what you’re really saying is that any well-presented food -could- be fast-food drech in disguise.
No real surprise there.
MrsBug

@#24, MisterJuJu,
me too! I thought, “Wow, my cat would love this”
Daemon

I wonder if they could manage to save the sweet & sour chicken I once got from a chinese mall food-court place.

It was chicken mcnuggets lightly drizzled with a very poor mockery of sweet & sour sauce.

Seriously, mcnuggets.
edgore

@8 – the great thing about unicorns is that they provide their own spit!
Anonymous

For that much trouble, you could make real food….
Anonymous

If you’re going to spend that much effort, why not get some non-nasty basic ingredients and cook something.

Hell, *fresh* tortellini would just be eggs and flour subjected to the same process.
SamSam

This really, really churns my stomach. Shouldn’t have read it this early in the morning.
GrossGrub

Believe it or not, I cringed when my brother made his gross sandwiches and ate them – seemingly delighted. I’ve been in Thailand for almost 5 years now and eating insects – worms, scorpions, and other things on a regular basis. I’m loving it, I gotta tell you.

Sustainable living is a hot topic these days. If you can get over the fact that you’re eating bugs and the filth that they live in… well then, you can sustain yourself during a lot of harsh situations – yes?

I put some of the videos at youtube under “Gross Grub Series” you can find them searching there… not sure how boing is about links.

I’m still sure I could NOT eat some of the mustard, chocolate, jelly, peanut butter, raw egg, mayonnaise sandwiches my brother adored… but bugs? not a problem!
PaulR

Look, I know this is all a po-mo, ironic, hip, whateverish… But LEARN TO COOK, PEOPLE!

I think it’d be even less work to cook all that from scratch, even discounting the trip to the Taco Bell.

And while you’re at it: learn how to do other stuff! Like how to to “change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.”

(“Specialization is for insects” is one of my favourite quotes. Thanks RAH!)
nanner

i think this is fun, from an artist’s perspective. Yes, #1 like a sh*t sculpture.

#6 yes, you can go home and cook a lovely meal. That is not the point, the site doesn’t say “see how good it can taste” it says “See how good it can look” Crafters often challenge themselves, this seems like a great challenge in imaginative food presentation with very creative results.
misterjuju

I skimmed past Fancy Fast Food and read Fancy Feast Food. mmmm, cat food tortellini
reginald

NO NO NO!!!!
I would rather see a unicorn on a spit.
Anonymous

This is what’s served in the Taco Bells from Demolition Man.
yasth

I don’t know if this is really all the more unhealthy than restaurant food, and less vitamins. Maybe more additives, but on a calorie or fat basis… similar things are similar. Some of the things I am quite certain are less caloric than the fine dining alternative (the big mac option almost surely is, from lack of smothered dressing, and highly marbled steak).

Food doesn’t care where you get it, 1500 calories will doom you just as well as if it is from burger king as it will from Le Rue Royale.
nanner

again, #9 i don’t think this is about eating. i just think the title of the post has it wrong.

SHould read: HOWTO make beautiful gross, unhealthy food out of gross, unhealthy fast-food
Snakefarmer

A friend of mine always said: “Taco Bell – It’s cheaper than food!”