Mattel introduces new Journalism Barbie

Barbie® I Can Be...™ News Anchor Doll, just $12.99, available this holiday season. They're not kidding about the choking hazard, either.

(via Amanda Hess, thanks SB!)


  1. Just a heads up. That rimshot link came up as an attack site, either my laptop has an overactive firewall or that link has been compromised.

    Much like journalism has the past 10 years.

  2. Btw.. clicking the “rimshot” link triggered all my computer’s virus protection alarms.

    (i suppose that’s what i get for the locker-room comment)

    1. InstantRimshot’s been around forever.

      Unfortunately, that’s says nothing to whether they’ve been hacked or not.

  3. Sadly, I’m not sure that I would necessarily equate “News Anchor” with “Journalist” in this day and age.

    @antinious I doubt that InstantRimshot is malicious either, but it doesn’t mean it or it’s host hasn’t been compromised by somebody that is. Longevity ≠ security.

    1. Wait a second, if she’s the “anchor” then why does she have a handheld microphone? Isn’t that more of a “reporter” or “correspondent” accessory?

  4. To avoid the Megyn Kelly mode, please be sure that the switch on the back isn’t set to evil like that Krusty the Clown doll that terrorized Homer.

    1. mr.skeleton, you beat me to it! I second the call for a Xeni action figure, and I want mine in pink satin outfit that she wore when she interviewed Genesis P. Orridge.

  5. God, I hate pink. And its liberal usage by American girly girls and the makers of their consumer products. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

    (And it actually looks way better on dark men than it does on fair women, don’t ya think?)

    1. And it actually looks way better on dark men than it does on fair women, don’t ya think?

      So true!! Only it has to be dusty pink or fushia: Pepto Bismol is for digestive issues only…

      1. Holy Crap! She is here. I got the camera location wrong though, should have known it would be a cleavage-cam.

  6. I often think that the ‘career’ Barbies may be more harmful than helpful. Rather than send the message to girls (and boys) that women “can do anything they want,” they seem to reinforce the increasingly dominant view that women “can do anything they want…just as long as they’re ‘hawt’ eye-candy.” If anything, I find it *more* difficult to imagine myself — intelligent, successful, but quite un-Barbie-like in every physical way — in these particular occupational roles after seeing Barbie ‘portray’ them.

  7. Does she come with a blue plastic shovel for digging up tar balls on the beach? Because that’s what real journalists do…

  8. Ron Burgundy: You are a smelly pirate hooker!
    Veronica Corningstone: You look like a blueberry!
    Ron Burgundy: Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island!
    Veronica Corningstone: Well, you have bad hair!
    Ron Burgundy: [shellshocked] What did you say?
    Veronica Corningstone: I said, your hair looks stupid.

  9. Maybe she can get a

    Man, why don’t they just be honest and call it “OMG-I got my degree in “Media Communications and beauty pageants” “Journalism” is SO last century!” Barbie? (shakes head)
    And the hoochie black shiny bustier and satin lapel jacket?? Really??
    There ARE a few real journalists on television, but you have to tune into BBC America to see them.

  10. Well, I now am SURE journalism is a dead art.

    By the time Matell get a hold of it, you can tell the biomass has hit the rotating impeller.

    Ask yourself: “Would Barbie make a suitable stand-in for all of these generic news-readers?”

    The answer is yes almost across the board…


    Well, there’s “Naked News” isn’t there?

  11. We got the bubbleheaded bleach-blonde, comes on at 5
    She can tell you about the plane crash with a gleam in her eye
    It’s interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry

    (Don Henley)

  12. Ok, so it’s a Barbie with its honesty, integrity, responsibility, discretion and sense of honor removed….

  13. Does it come with VNRs, gossip wire service, a stack of product announcement press releases, and dramatic music generator?

  14. Michelle Malkin would be proud.

    Also: I hear computer engineer Barbie hangs out at 4Chan. All that pink and pastel belies a woman who has seen more penis than most prostitutes.

  15. I’m pretty sure Barbie is legally retarded. When else do you see an adult with their name written on everything they own?

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