Osama bin Smokin'? Marijuana found at Abbottabad compound


60 Responses to “Osama bin Smokin'? Marijuana found at Abbottabad compound”

  1. jeligula says:

    Wild hemp grows where it will. Along strands of Tennessee highway, pot plants are rampant. But they are nothing by hemp and not worth smoking.

  2. Anonymous says:

    This is silly. I’ve been to Abottabad, the Kashmir and Jhelum valleys and throughout the Northern areas of Pakistan; Weed grows everywhere there.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Maybe if he smoked it more he wouldn’t have been such a creep. He would have been too buzzed to care.

  4. fresh says:

    Sloth were right with there bin Laden smoking t-shirt! http://sloth.bigcartel.com/product/bin-blazin-mens-tee

  5. shannigans says:

    He did have about ten years put into the couch. Makes sense.

  6. ill lich says:

    All I know is this “bin Laden acid” I scored with his face on all the tabs gave me nothing but bad trips, every single one of them.

  7. Jake0748 says:

    “He and his buds were said to have…”
    Haha, you said buds.

  8. Mister44 says:

    “Open up, Osama, it’s me, Abu. I got the stuff.”

    “Abu’s not here, man.”

    Seriously though, he’s from a country that exports the bulk of opium to around the world, and there are lots of complaints that the Afghani regulars like to slack off and smoke hashish. IIRC Kat (Quat?) is popular there too. Besides – what else is there to do beside watch TV and get stoned and you can’t drink.

    Still… it could make a good anti-drug commercial.

    “Smoke pot and we’ll send SEAL team 6 into shoot your mom and kill your dad.”

  9. Mister44 says:

    Clarification – I know he wasn’t born Afghanistan, but did run operations there for a time.

  10. hobomike says:

    No phone and internet connections? You gotta have something fun to do. Seriously, if the U.S.A. were hunting me, I’d be smoking out A LOT. In fact, I smoke out for a lot less reasons.

    • Jack says:

      Dude, he held onto kids cricket balls. Looks like Osama Bin Laden was more like Osama Bin Killjoy!

  11. Anonymous says:

    Maybe he had a prescription.

  12. cuboda says:

    Why the persistence in associating marijuana with mellow? The brain in a sauna may get pretty limp, but when it is too weak to get off the hot rocks it slid or tripped onto, it isn’t too happy.

  13. elix says:


    I’m calling it right here, right now.

  14. Jack says:

    Best quote IMHO:

    When school children playing cricket knocked balls into their compound they were never allowed in to find them instead the Khan’s would pay them 100 rupees – approximately 70p – as compensation.

    It’s like some sitcom that should be made. I can see Don Knotts playing one of the couriers going: “Ugggh, what kind of stuff do we have to buy now? A case of Pringles? More like Osama Bin Binging! *conk* Ouch! Wait! Hey! YOU KIDS! GET YOUR CRICKET BALLS OFF MY LAWN!”

    • Mister44 says:

      “This is the 20th time this week! If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were doing this on purpose. And why is it I always hear carnival music and bells just before it happens?”

      • Jack says:

        “Sorry Mister Khan… Hey! What are you hiding in there? A talking horse? C’mon! Let me in.”

        The kids could be on a hill looking at the mansion and talking about what is inside: “I bet he has 12 talking horses! And a big TV screen! And dozens of kites!”

        • Mister44 says:

          “Man – they must be old people in there. They always start cooking at 4:20. Who eats that early?”

  15. DangerJackson says:


    I bet it was like three different kinds of weed all grown together.

  16. PeaceLove says:

    Jokes are an easy default but the truth is likely quite straightforward. Cannabis is a miraculous plant that alleviates all kinds of nasty physical and mental conditions and OBL probably used it to treat one or more of his ailments.

    Given his psychological makeup, he probably also used it to help himself hide from himself.

  17. coaxial says:

    I call bullshit. Next they’re going to say they found a fridge full of 40s.

  18. boehj says:

    They should have, ahem, “stoned” him to death. ‘Tis Sharia law after all.

  19. Jack says:

    PS: Xeni, another source for domestic Bin Laden mansion issues:

    Bin Laden’s protectors “always bought the best brands — Nestle milk, the good-quality soaps and shampoos,” Qaisar said. “They always paid cash, never asked for credit.” They purchased meat from a butcher nearby who stayed closed yesterday, he said.

  20. olmsteader says:

    “In her 2006 autobiography (as excerpted in Harper’s Magazine, September 2006, pp. 22-24), (former mistress Kola) Boof describes bin Laden as obsessed with Whitney Houston, smoking lots of marijuana, and forcing her to dance naked to Van Halen.”


  21. teapot says:

    Matt: I find it hilarious the mods see fit to delete my criticism of your irrational, persistent ranting but you can read-all-about-it here:

  22. teapot says:

    PS: Just noticed they deleted your comment too, so I suppose that’s just good housekeeping.

  23. ultranaut says:

    I heard the SEALS shot him in the face because he had a bong made from a Stinger missile…

  24. Anonymous says:

    Osama both used and was funded by oil.

    oil = terrorism = oil

    Ban oil now!

  25. Anonymous says:

    He was kicked back, watching I Dream of Jeannie, and eating some Cheetos when he heard the door being kicked in…..

  26. starcadia says:

    That would explain the Pizza Hut phone number sewn into his clothes.

  27. Anonymous says:

    I’ve been to Pakistan, Marijuana grows everywhere, it’s a weed.

  28. nixiebunny says:

    Some countries don’t outlaw weeds.

  29. Talia says:

    Pot turns you into a terrorist! I knew it.

  30. aelfscine says:

    Where’s Shocked Cat? This seems like a prime photo for him/her to be shocked within.

  31. Anonymous says:

    Well, it’s a weed after all, and Afghanistan is its natural habitat.

    Any word on whether it was cultivated, or naturally growing?

  32. Fett101 says:

    Bulk orders for American products? Seriously?

    • Anonymous says:

      Huh, that is kind of ironic. They probably felt compelled to buy them because, after all, terrorists do own a good deal of American stocks.

  33. Anonymous says:

    Is that what they mean that weed is a gateway drug?

  34. Anonymous says:

    The name ‘Assassins’ comes from the Arabic Hashishin or “users of hashish.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hashshashin I wonder what OUR troops were high on that night. I also wonder if those guys ever got to see reruns of the Great Speed Racer Assassin Gang episodes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQIjbN9jMj0&feature=player_detailpage#t=69s

    • Noufal Ibrahim says:

      Not for sure. The wikipedia article you quoted mentions an alternate origin of the word – “..call his disciples Asasiyun, meaning people who are faithful to the Asās, meaning “foundation” of the faith…”. It also mentions that the more popular etymology (hashish eater) was commonly used by their adversaries to discredit them.

      Another thing that comes to mind because of the Pepsi reference is how “addicted” (for want of a better word) arabs generally are to the drink. People used to wake up in the cold desert morning, come to a local restaurant and ask for a shawarma and a bottle of Pepsi. They’d feel the bottle and ask for one that was colder.

  35. travtastic says:

    I hear he had a shrine to Satan in his closet, and only ate organic produce.

    • Xeni Jardin says:

      The same news reports say they were growing cauliflower and tomatoes out on the back 40, so you’re on the right track!

    • felixjawesome says:

      He also drove a Prius and donated to NPR.

      • travtastic says:

        Apparently he listed interests on facebook like “George Soros” and “Planned Parenthood”. Makes you wonder.

  36. HotPepperMan says:

    I worked in Pakistan covering the Swat Valley, Abbotabad etc. I can assure you that ‘Weed’ grows as a weed. In fact, even in the capital, Islamabad, there is one place we called ‘Happy Valley’; returning after a days work I would often grab a nap in the car while my driver managed the ‘interesting’ drive down the GT Road. I immediately knew when it was time to wake up and we were nearly back when the smell of ‘Happy Valley’ wafted into the car. Despite their best efforts, the local town council often failed to cut down all the plants before people got to them… Oh, and do not be fooled about ‘no alcohol’ there. It is readily available and consumed… so much for strict religious faith…

  37. MacBookHeir says:

    Various reports I’ve read say that there were several CHEECH and CHONG CDs and DVDs found inside the compound

  38. Soliloquy says:

    I bet he was super paranoid.

  39. Anonymous says:

    Damn, the war on drugs merges closer to the war on terror. Should have known, our county weed squad is half Iraq veterans and the other half tries to look the part. Legalization just jumped back a decade or two.

  40. Anonymous says:

    grows wild,acres of it.blew my mind when i saw it first time.

  41. Anonymous says:

    Well this certainly explains his dementia and hunger for world domination. Such drugs only lead to harder drugs, flashbacks and a degenerated life of crime and mayhem.
    If only his family friend George Bush had implemented an intervention.

  42. ryxxui says:

    Some people feel a bit strange releasing a headshot of the guy who they just perforated to make a few conspiracy nuts happier.

  43. travtastic says:

    What? No they don’t. Look up Hussein’s two sons.

  44. Ugly Canuck says:

    As far as macabre trophies of war….feed your head, read some history, and choose a side. Be we savages and barbarians, or be we not?


    I call any such displays “moral backsliding”…shall we fight over it?

  45. Mister44 says:

    My favorite war trophy? The bushel of gold rings Hannibal sent to the Senate after the Battle of Cannae during the 2nd Punic War.

    Hey – I heard that snickering over there. That’s PUNIC.

  46. travtastic says:

    No, we’re not going to fight over it. Don’t be patronizing. Someone has made a hell of a claim about killing a man, with political repercussions, and I would like to see some proof. We’re not talking about displaying it in Times Square and letting people throw things at the body. I don’t really care if it seems macabre.

Leave a Reply