By Rob Beschizza at 6:27 am Fri, Apr 13, 2012
American culture is the Zeroth Horseman of the Apocalypse.
But it’s from Britain
Pizza Hut is not from Britain. It might *in* Britain, but it is not from Britain.
When pizza places began offering cheese-stuffed pizza crust my first thought was not, “What will they think of to put inside a pizza crust next?”
This time, however, not only was it my first thought, but I’m almost certain the ideas that I came up with will soon be available: fried chicken finger stuffed crust, barbecued pork stuffed crust, and, naturally, Oreo stuffed crust.
You can thank Iowans for the stuffed crust. I was working at a central Iowa Slut when it was tested in America’s test market. It didn’t matter how many we made each morning, they would sell out. It went national, at most, 6 months later.
deep fried coke stuffed pizza crust…
Pizza stuffed pizza
yo dawg, i heard you like pizza, so we put a pizza in your pizza…
You can thank Japan for that
“Hamburger pizza”, “sausage roll” and “cheesy roll” says the ad. Also, it’s for “this summer”. :-/ Yet I say the pizza isn’t complete; surely there are other things you can use as pizza toppings?
(Japan is kind of a competitive pizza market. They have to come up with new crazy shit constantly to one-up the competition. See Pizza-La.)
The put mayo on pizza don’t they?
and 4 more from the East: http://blogs.ocweekly.com/stickaforkinit/2012/04/five_pizza_crusts_more_epic_th.php
Someone needs to do an autopsy on one of these and find out if it’s really one long continuous hot dog loop. That would be a thing of awesome wonder.
Do you remember the days when food actually looked and tasted like food?
Well my gramps used to make loaves stuffed with pig brains, so no.
For some reason the flavor of hot dogs and pizza just don’t work together for me…
Really a Pizza Hut pan with pepperoni and extra cheese is about all I need. Maybe if they had some fresh garlic, that’d be a nice touch.
I wonder why it isn’t just regular italian sausage.
Once upon a time in Mexico, and this still might be true with a few unfortunate, clueless pizzerias, when you ordered your pie with sausage, it would be a goddamned sliced hot dog wiener.
My theory is that these people would “copy” the Pizza Hut or Domino’s menu, without bothering to order and test the items within, and due to a little Spanish blind spot, would assume that “sausage” and “wiener” were one and the same.
Don’t missed the Guardian’s taste test:
“The bread was fake and weird but chewy like a bagel. I soon neared the end of my slice and its bedoughed, pink-brown phallus. I took a tentative bite.It was a hot dog sausage. It was rubbery and processed and salty and smoky. How, in its own filthy way, could it be anything other than …”
I won’t spoil the rest: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2012/apr/13/hot-dog-stuffed-crust-pizza
The bread was fake and weird and chewy . . .
Without clicking the link this reads like someone who has never had Pizza Hut before. That’s pretty much what the crust is like . . .
I worked at a Pizza Hut in high school and college so I can say the writer of this article obviously didn’t pay much attention when he did the same.
The ‘developer’ he talks about spraying on the dough is just canned oil, something you’d put on any dough you that’s going to rise in a container with a lid on it.
Not that I’m well removed from the equation, I can eat Pizza Hut again and actually find it to be a treat I rarely see here in Chicago with so many other options available. I like it the same way I like Taco Bell or cheap chinese food; not as a replacement for something more authentic, but as a entirely separate experience.
It’s really hard for me to believe that they introduced this in Britain before the U.S. I mean, I feel like there is a stereotype wandering around confused in the middle of the Atlantic right now.
Oh, and sweet Jesus that sounds nasty. A hot dog? Why not an actual pizza topping like Italian sausage? Sheesh.
I think the Scottish came up with deep fried pizza.
Otherwise known as ouroboros-in-a-blanket.
Vulpes Abnocto ftw.
When I was at a Pizza Hut in London this summer, they had an “American pizza” that had on it, I believe, niblets of corn and gravy. Confirm or deny.
Somewhere else in Europe, I saw an “American” pizza that had two sunny side up eggs on it.
I was in Austria and saw corn on an “American” pizza.
Italian sausage isn’t something you would ever find on a pizza in Italy.
Well, maybe in an art gallery, next to the cans of shit.
Well… corn _is_ American after all.
I ate a maple doughnut with candied bacon on it yesterday. So, who am I to judge?
Those things go together, though – breakfast flavors (pancakes, maple syrup, bacon – a tasty breakfast). I’ve had one too. We saw them at the donut shop (a small place with some of the best donuts I’ve ever had, run by a SE Asian family in Huntington Beach) and got it sort of as a joke – like a “we have to try it” kind of thing – and it was really great. Not sure I’d eat one more than once every couple of years though.
Anyway, the point is, hot dogs don’t really go with pizza IMO.
Yeah, as much as I liked the bacon doughnut, I don’t see a need to eat another one for a good long time. I was disturbed at how much I liked the caramelized bacon.
I’d like to make a pizza that is nothing but a series of concentric stuffed crusts, starting with a very pizza-like one in the center, i.e. sausage, mushrooms and cheese, and eventually ending with something very dessert-like stuffed in the crust at the edge, like Nutella or baklava.
don’t give them any ideas, no matter how good your idea is :)
further proof that fast food companies hate their customers. just like taco bell and the doritos shell. fuck’s sake.
I had one of those, it was like a dream.
Not a ‘deep fantasy’ dream, but a realistic ‘everything is surreal’ dream; the kind where I’m naked in my 1st grade class, everyone’s teeth fell out, and the flowers in the carpet have my ex’s screaming face in them.
An blog post I read recently pointed out that Pizza Hut’s Twitter feed is almost excusively people complaining about the low quality of their products and service. I inagine the Pizza Hut execs saying, “Hot dog stuffed crust pizza! That will turn things around for us!”
This is officially the point where civilization starts to just parody itself.
I had a cheese stuffed sausage stuffed (not a typo) 4 layered pizza at a place called Debonaire’s Pizza in South Africa back in 2010 — sorry folks America is behind this particular curve.
This was the prototype to what i had … the sausage was called something like a cheesy-grilla
James Turner I had one last night, and it’s not one long sausage. Sadly.
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