Why aren't you turning potatoes into cash RIGHT NOW?

Potato chips,
how my mouth just drips
Crunch, crunch,
I don't want no lunch,
All I want is potato chips.

No matter where it is,
You'll always find a bag around,
You can be at a bar or a picnic,
Even a baseball ground.


Okay, some more job opportunities.


    1. What’s the scam?  Slap the words “small batch” and “artisanal” on the label and sell them at a 300% markup?

      Artisanal: a product home-grown, hand-made, or machine-made under the supervision of somebody with a Masters degree (or higher) in an unrelated field.

      1. Advertisement implies packaging and transportation are $0, for a net profit of $23.50 per batch. Ignoring any overhead costs for electricity/fuel to run the machine and for local ordinances for running a manufacturing plant and keeping up to health-code.

  1. Doesn’t that kind of assume that there is a market for chips that are at your house. As opposed to maybe a restaurant where there are chip consumers. Unless there is some magical chip delivery mechanism that I’m not aware of.

  2. Everyone’s probably familiar with the story of the origin of potato chips (a customer at a restaurant kept sending his sliced, fried potatoes back, complaining they were too thick, until finally the chef just made potato chips.) There’s a legend (completely untrue) that the grumpy customer was none other than Cornelius Vanderbilt.

    Because of where I work at least once a year I get to dress up as the Commodore. And I always make sure to include a bag of potato chips in my ensemble.

    It has nothing to do with turning potatoes into cash, at least not for me, but I thought I’d share anyway.

    1. “Because of where I work at least once a year I get to dress up as the Commodore.”

      You have my dream job! I am unironically jealous.

  3. Could you just make chips and sell them to restaurants these days or do health and safety type laws prevent that? ‘Cause you know, gourmet, low-carbon-footprint handmade homestyle chips… could have a market! :)

  4. I’m going to check into this.  I’ve been passing peanut based bills for years now.

    1. Cool picture! I’m from Seattle, so I’m very familiar with Nalley’s pickles, but until now I forgot that they ever made potato chips. (After a little research, it looks like the Tacoma Nalley’s plant stopped making potato chips in the mid-1990s, before shutting down for good last year.)

  5. Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. 

  6. I wonder if this ad ran in Pennsylvania.  While most Americans get 3-4 brands, PA is home to at least 16 potato chip brands, many of them family-owned, and I’ll bet 50 years ago there were many many more.  It’s like potato chip Atlantis.

    They don’t even have to put artisinal on the bag.

  7. What an oversight that the phrase “Potato Chip Millionaire” has not become part of our everyday lexicon.  

    I suspect the wise guys that cashed in on chips want to keep all the action for themselves, so they have deliberately put the kabosh on that lingo.

  8. Yeah, but.. greaseless potato chips? What’s the point? Eat ’em while drinking alcohol-free beer..?

  9. Back then, there were no national brands of potato chips. They were expensive to transport long distances, and didn’t keep fresh well. So most were made locally, and it was a commonly-advertised business opportunity. Not a scam as far as I know, though like all businesses, not a sure thing, either.

  10. As any casino can tell you, it’s a lot easier to turn cash into chips than the other way around.

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