The Canadian Border Service Agency has been ordered to stop hunting for illegal drug exporters and worry instead about catching nuclear material and stolen car smugglers. Lee Berthiaume writes for Postmedia News:

The directive, contained in an internal memo to Canada Border Service Agency managers that was obtained by Postmedia News, is unlikely to make officials in the United States and other countries very happy.

But analysts say that in an age of finite resources, the agency has decided it makes more sense to target areas where it thinks it can make a difference.

The article goes on to quote Eugene Oscapella of the Canadian Foundation for Drug Policy, describing how hard it is to catch dope smuggling, versus big things like cars and radioactive things like uranium.

Border guards told to forget about illegal drug exports (via Reddit)

Redditor Frostbite795 asked a Bar Mitzvah balloon twister for a Cthulhu, and the twister delivered.

Asked for a Cthulhu. Balloon guy at bar mitzvah delivers. (imgur.com)

A redditor called zacch asked his mom to paint him a pair of Batman Converse. She came through with flying (and suitably gloomy) colors.

I couldn't afford a pair of Batman Converse that I wanted so my talented mom said she would paint on some existing shoes. She did not disappoint. (x-post r/batman) (imgur.com)

Redditor j_patrick_12 says he ran into Marilyn Manson in an airport security line, and that Manson was apologizing profusely for the word FUCK written in eyeliner on his face, explaining that it was there to stop paparazzi from taking saleable pictures, and not because Manson wanted to be mean to people in the airport.

I just went through the LAX security line with Marilyn Manson. He had "FUCK" scrawled in large letters across the bottom half of his face, with what appeared to be a grease pencil. As we each removed our boots in the security line, he kindly explained that it was not directed at me or anyone else in the airport, but rather at the paparazzi, so that they couldn't sell any photos of him that they took. He was really apologetic about it, and covered his mouth around young children while apologizing to their parents for exposing their child to profanity.

Marilyn Manson just explained to me, in the security line at LAX, that the profanities written on his face in grease pencil were directed at the paparazzi, not at me. Reddit, what bizarre celebrity encounters have you had? (self.AskReddit)

Timothy Arnold, a student at the University of Central Florida, produced a app called U Could Finish that automated the process of hunting for vacancies in popular courses. After the app was the subject of a popular Reddit post, the administration at UCF punished Arnold for doing this, on the grounds that it had overloaded their servers. As a persuasive presentation from Arnold and friends documents, this claim is not very plausible. Nevertheless, the project has been terminated and Arnold faces three semesters of academic probation, a paper in which Arnold must explain why what he did was naughty and why the system's administrators are good people, and a coaching session on making good life sessions.

The Reddit post on the shutdown is full of good examples of universities that rewarded students who improved their systems rather than reacting with immediate and thorough reactionary discipline.

UCF student penalized for writing program to simplify searching for open university classes (ucouldfinish.com)

A redditor called Frankie842 snapped a photo of a public hair stuck to a urinal in a near-perfect treble clef. I once experienced something like this, back when I was roomming with Possum Man. We'd cooked a pot of spaghetti and we tried the technique of tossing a strand against the wall to see if it would stick. It landed in just this configuration and we left it up on that wall for years after.

1 in a million chance musical pubic hair (imgur.com)

God here. I thought I would take the time to personally explain my absence in the Aurora shootings. While I was at it, I thought I would also explain my absence during every murder, massacre and crime that has ever taken place in World history, and in every war, in every famine, drought and flood.

You see, I do not exist. I never have. Did it really make sense to you that I would create an entire Universe with billions of billions of planets and wait about 13,700,000,000 years just so I could focus on a few Jews from Palestine about 2,000 years ago while ignoring the rest of the 200,000,000 people on the planet at the time?

- Comment on a CNN Belief Blog editorial explaining "Where God was" during the recent shooting at a Dark Knight screening in Colorado.

Redditor Amiziras posted this photo of several nested trucks, taken last year in West Street, Bedminster, Bristol.

Pickup on a truck on a truck on a truck (imgur.com) (Thank, Sam!)

Here's a video of the 1972 Gesundheit Radio "sneezing," a function it was programmed to perform twice annually in order to clear the dust from its sensitive components.

TIL that in 1972 a radio was designed that 'sneezed' every 6 months in order to protect the microprocessors from dust (vimeo.com)

Here's Mr Romney on the campaign trail in 2007, in Radar O'Reilly's hometown of Ottumwa, Iowa, demonstrating his mastery of First Amendment jurisprudence and the nature of the technology industry -- as well as the technical feasibility of pornography filters -- promising mandatory game-rating systems (with a prohibition on their sales to kids) and a technology mandate requiring all PC vendors to place a pornography filter on new computers, on the grounds that this will "make sure their kids don't see [pornography]." I think Mr Romney uses "make sure" in a different, more nuanced way than the rest of us do, meaning, "not be sure at all."

Mitt Romney in 2007:Porn Filter on Computers (via Reddit)