I didn't shit my pants at McDonalds 25 years ago, Australian Prime Minister insists

Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison, beset by rumors that he shat his pants at McDonalds in 1997, has finally broken and addressed the claims, thereby ensuring that the entire world's attention is given to them. Here he is on a radio interview, quoted by Matt Novak:

"It's complete and utter rubbish. I found the whole thing incredibly amusing, and we've always joked about it amongst our team here as we've driven by it, asking 'Do you want to pop in for a Big Mac?'," insisted Morrison, a man not known for his sense of humor.

Australia's Prime Ministers have been known to mysteriously disappear, but watching this guy shrivel up and vanish is something else.