Texas will hand out free DNA kits so you can ID your child after the next school massacre

Texas is so hell-bent on keeping AR-15s legal and in the hands of any gunman who wants one, the state's public school districts are about to hand out DNA and fingerprint kits to any family who wants them. After all, what better way to identify an otherwise unrecognizable mutilated child after a school shooting than through their DNA or fingerprints (if those are still intact)?

From Gizmodo:

The DNA and fingerprint kits, which are available for kids from kindergarten to 8th grade in Texas, can be stored at home or given to the school or local police department, depending on the wishes of parents and guardians. The new program is part of a Texas law passed in 2021 that makes clear the DNA samples and fingerprints are voluntary. And it's billed as something that can be kept on file just in case children need to be identified by strangers. …

Some parents in Texas are understandably upset about the entire idea of taking their kid's DNA, noting that it does nothing to prevent school shootings.

"DNA or fingerprints will not make my kid safer," one parent from the Houston Independent School District told the Houston Chronicle."It will help with identification afterwards."

Since the Robb Elementary School mass shooting in Uvalde, Texas last May that killed 19 children and two teachers while police officers stood in a stupor outside, the state has come up with no plan to prevent future school massacres.

But Texas sure does expect to see more school bloodshed, thus their generous DNA kit offer. I guess Sen.Ted Cruz's genius scheme to install just one entrance door per school (to hell with fire hazards), plant armed guards on elementary school campuses, and rattle off a bunch of thoughts and prayers hasn't come to fruition.