Tucker Carlson, meet Coca-Cola, the ball-inflating potion that will return your manhood (video)

Testicle tanner Tucker Carlson, rejoice! The ever-reliable New York Post has reported on a new study suggesting that Coca-Cola boosts testosterone, the hormone — when lacking — responsible for the Fox host's perpetually testy humor. And to celebrate the end of Carlson's "End of Man" fears, the Late Show has released an updated version of Coca-Cola's "I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke" jingle, which promises to "nourish giant balls" to the size of "Chinese spy balloons." There's still hope for Carlson yet.

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