Philadelphia's dedicated bureaucrats face a terrifying prospect — an affordable housing project might actually get approved. As The Inquirer reports, these champions of pushback have lovingly nurtured this 57-unit proposal through six beautiful years of presentations, feedback sessions, and impact studies. That's three presidential administrations of perfectly orchestrated inaction!
Do you understand what approval would mean? These poor bureaucrats would have to find another project to endlessly discuss. Their precious ritual of "intensive neighborhood scrutiny" would end, destroying an ecosystem of meetings that's sustained countless PowerPoint presentations.
These heroes have done everything possible to preserve their precious meeting habitat. When Council member Clarke left office, they brilliantly pivoted to his successor Young's new community group, led by staffer Bonita Cummings, who blessed us with the completely rational comparison of affordable housing to "the Tuskegee syphilis experiment."
They've even found innovative ways to waste time, like when Planning Commission's David Fecteau suggested postponing his testimony for — wait for it — more community meetings.
But now some monsters, like labor leader Ryan Boyer, are saying unreasonable things like "I strongly support this project, as we need more units in Philadelphia." The audacity! What's next — expecting water department officials to fix leaks?
At least they've managed to burn through $5 million in inflation costs while doing absolutely nothing. As Gregory Hampson, PHA's vice president, warns, they might lose $13 million in funding. Only then these beleaguered bureaucrats can declare victory and return to their natural state: scheduling meetings about scheduling meetings about who to blame.
Previously:
• David Graeber's The Utopia of Rules: On Technology, Stupidity, and the Secret Joys of Bureaucracy
• San Francisco's soul-destroying bureaucracy is killing small restaurant owners trying to survive Covid
• Poop transplants meet FDA bureaucracy
• The American right loves forms, paperwork and other bureaucracy
• San Francisco native Jason Yu spent $200,000 trying to open an ice cream shop, but the city's bureaucracy beat him
