By Cory Doctorow at 6:04 am Sun, Jul 8, 2012
Just look at it.
Contest entry - Pie
“In Five Army Surveys”…
Yeah..and in fifty OTHER Army surveys, rhubard crisp rates as a Top G.I. Favorite.
/Mmm, rhubard crisp.
I have never been as happy about anything as that man is about banana cream pie.
“Hello, my name is David. While I am not capable of TRULY enjoying a banana-cream pie, but I CAN understand, and accurately replicate, the joy that humans receive from consuming such a pie.”
I believe you, because that’s what I choose to believe…
How YOU doin’?
Coconut cream pie is pretty good
Yes, but there is nothing like a pie with banana and cream in it.
I have, and it was also while eating pie…
I think it was Pecan!
In the American South, bananna pudding is also served topped with vanilla wafers. It’s pronounced “nannapuddin”
And southern American rock bands dedicate songs to this delicacy.
But this is banana cream pie..?
But you are right…I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone make a banana cream pie over nannapuddin here in NC. Best if left to “meld” for a day or so.
There’s something about that GI’s photo that says “don’t ask don’t tell”.
The international banana conspiracy has sapped all of our precious bodily fluids.
I love a man in a uniform with a banana.
You’re referring, presumably, to “man on pie”?
When was the Five Army surveyed? And which part of one’s man does one try it on?
I was tempted to say the pie hole. But we all know that United Fruit Co’s bananas are only useful when mashed up and used as a lubricant to sodomize the natives.
It is impossible to look at this man without picturing him with Patrick Warburton’s voice.
I see a young Richard Moll.
They are part of the army’s elite banana cream pie unit.
One banana, two banana, three banana, four
The bloody Red Baron was rollin’ out the score…
Not sure what Cory wants us to see. What I see is that the pie pan where the slice has been removed is impossibly clean, the cut edge is impossibly perfect, and no banana slices were cut through to remove this slice, despite them overlapping each other all the way around the remaining pie. Conclusion? THIS PIE WAS MADE WITH THE SLICE MISSING!
I know, right. It’s like when I see pies cut like that on TV, it makes me rage a little inside. Not because they look so good, but HOW THE F DID THEY DO IT? I make pies from time to time and I swear I’ve never gotten one to come out nearly that clean. Outside of having a springform pie pan I don’t see how it’s possible (that or really really solid filling).
Possibly plastic. And if that, propably imported from Japan where you can buy every meal in plastic for showing it in your restaurant. I always thought that was a very practical thing.
It seems like most Tokyo noodle shops have plastic (wax?) prop food to illustrate their menu items. Because of this there is actually a wax food district in Tokyo.
Pro-tip for cutting cakes: dental floss.
Alright that’ll give you a clean cut, but what about the filling oozing into the now empty space?
(Let me guess, semi frozen pie?)
The pie pictured in the ad’s probably inedible. The food stylist probably put lots of gelatin in it, and got that puppy very cold, before the picture was taken.
That looks like a cheesecake in the ad; the texture’s sort of pebbly.
Was alien technology involved in Allied victory of WW2? Did aliens give us the A-bomb and pie related technology?
In space, no one can hear you cream.
Maybe they cut out the piece of pie, _then_ added the bananas and whipped cream?
Or did I just kill the fun?
But that poor, smiling guy in the picture is clearly eating pie with a slice of banana on it! Unless you think he’s in on the con … ?
Sure, but what about the clean pie pan? Taking out the first piece is always a disaster.
mini vacuum cleaner! (or perhaps a moist cloth)
Wait…you don’t just use your finger and then lick it clean?
Besides which, they clearly didn’t follow the recipe. It calls for alternating banana slice layers with cream layers. IT’S THE WRONG PIE.
“Food stylist” is not the same job as “cook”. I’ve got an uncle who’s a food photographer (for microwave meal packages and cookbooks), and the food you take a picture of is usually rendered inedible in the process.
eg, the boiling water-soaked tampon secreted about the dish to give off steam. I’ll just have the salad thanks.
Also, the cut leans from vertical in the center, to an angled cut at the rim to make the pie seem deeper and more banana-licious. Not much new in the food stylist’s bag of tricks.
The Five Armies surveyed: Men, Elves, Dwarves, Goblins, and Wargs. All fighting over Smaug’s delicious pile of banana cream pies. I haven’t read The Hobbit in some time, but I’m pretty sure that’s what happened.
“Banana Creampie”? There are website dedicated to this type of euphemism.
There are a lot more for “chocolate creampie”.
I hear there is one for something called “cake farts”….perhaps that’s TMI.
-and if your, umm, creampie is chocolate…yeah someone needs to see a doctor.
I guess you didn’t google it.
Urban dictionary’s meanings are all over the map…and most of the videos I found seemed to reference more chocolate as the person, not the location. Maybe I’m just not searching with the right terms.
-apparently someone believes it involves chocolate milk…
Do a search on google images with “safe search” turned off and you’ll get an interesting mixture of two kinds of pics. One is of food.
Actually, isn’t that smiling GI actually actor, Michael Conrad? “Let’s be careful out there…”
I was thinking a well-fed Billy Bob Thornton on Ecstasy.
A seven nation army survey couldn’t hold us back.
The pie itself looks like Pacman.
‘Commercial Pudding Mix’— Pukes! No wonder they don’t say that anymore.
I’m going to go out on a limp and say the studies were independent and conducted at 5 random times, but voice my sadness at that ingredient list. The process of simplicity in America.
The soldier in question appears to be a major, from his collar insignia. So what we’ve learned here is that banana cream pie is not some grubby infantry grunt dessert, but more suited to the refined palate of the career officer. Hausfrauen of enlisted men should take note and prepare desserts more appropriate to their husband’s station, like sugared potato peelings, I guess.
CORRECTION: As noted below, that is not a major’s golden oak leaf. This soldier’s rank is therefore indeterminate, meaning that banana cream pie is for communists, utopians, and other such levellers.
That’s just a ‘US’ insignia in round brass. My dad, who was a grunt-rank and very reluctant soldier in Korea at about the time of the ad, had a set.
Is that a young Steve Martin shoving pie into his face?
It’s Billy Bob Thornton.
With Robert Mitchum’s hair.
I don’t know either how they do it, but if you want a pie exactly like that one you have to pay somebody $500 or so to make it for you. Then you take a portrait-quality photo of it and throw it away before someone eats it by mistake.
Could you throw it in somebody’s face?
That would be the only constructive use for it.
Am I the only one to see sexual innuendo in the banana and pie slice?
Sometimes a banana cream pie is just a banana cream pie.
You’re both sick!
Do a Google Image search for “cream pie” to find out just how sick.
oh god please no don’t do that
Looks like some kind of map, a space where the cream is supposed to go. Hmmm…
It’s not a map … it’s an invitation.
I see, “Mmmmm – Nanner Puddin’ Pie. My FAVORITE, And as soon as I’m done, I’m going to slaughter every living soul in this room.”
“Banana Cream Pie. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes.
In the WWII, when England was rationing food, you yanks were eating all of the bananas! That’s why there was such a shortage! I knew it!
Actually it’s probably post-war, when rationing was over and all the G.I.s had returned home to settle down and fuel a massive consumer culture. (Just clicked the source link, yep, 1952! There were still soldiers trickling home even then, mostly from rebuilding efforts and whatnot.)
Fun fact, it’s an ad for United Fruit Company, pretty much the most evil people who ever sold fruit. They all but raped, pillaged, and slaughtered Central and Southern America in the name of imperialistic commercialism.
Look at this book about bananas and the United Fruit Company. Just look at it.
How can you say such unpatriotic things about the CIA Front Organization that kept South America safe for Dictators.
Banana Republic Creampie? You don’t want to go there…
…only if she’s legal…
“With a clattering of chairs, upended shell cases, benches, and ottomans, Pirate’s mob gather at the shores of the great refectory table, a southern island well across a tropic or two from chill Corydon Throsp’s mediaeval fantasies, crowded now over the swirling dark grain of its walnut uplands with banana omelets, banana sandwiches, banana casseroles, mashed bananas molded into the shape of a British lion rampant, blended with eggs into batter for French toast, squeezed out a pastry nozzle across the quivering creamy reaches of a banana blancmange to spell out the words C’est magnifique, mais ce n’est pas la guerre(attributed to a French observer during the Charge of the Light Brigade) which Pirate has appropriated as his motto … tall cruets of pale banana syrup to pour oozing over banana waffles, a giant glazed crock where diced bananas have been fermenting since the summer with wild honey and muscat raisins, up out of which, this winter morning, one now dips foam mugsfull of banana mead … banana croissants and banana kreplach, and banana oatmeal and banana jam and banana bread, and bananas flamed in ancient brandy Pirate brought back last year from a cellar in the Pyrenees also containing a clandestine radio transmitter …”
–Gravity’s Rainbow, Thomas Pynchon, p. 10 – 11
The Yanks were also short on bananas. That’s why Twinkies shifted a vanilla creme filling.
Twinkies? Vanilla creme filling? When will these appalling double entendres end?
The recipe says “Add alternate layers of ripe banana slices and filling” but the photo shows a homogenous filling – no layers, just decorative slices on top.
Also, this advert answers the question “How did Jesse Birdsall make a living before he starred in “Bugs?”
If you spin the pie at 78 rpm and put a pickup in the whipped cream ring you’ll hear secret messages detailing troop movements.
Loose lips sink ships, and what better way to loosen those lips than with a delicious slice of banana cream pie?
The Rolling Stones directly referred to this method of passing messages embedded in round desserts on the front and back cover of the Let It Bleed album.
So many boingers are guessing who this man must be, but the truth is obvious.
He’s clearly the father of the Pork and Beans boy!
it’s wonderful to think about the hand measured type setting/kerning and letter design of vintage ad’s… with out the aid of tools like adobe indesign, illustrator and photoshop. these folks really had a craft and skill, it gives the lettering so much charm…
It’s an abstract Vulva, withe missing slice representing the vagina.
No that would be an Infiniti hood ornament
I want to eat some banana cream pie so bad right now.
How about the skull face in the center of the pie
So that’s not a Cavendish. Must be a Gros Michel, right?
Guy looks like he’s 13 beers deep.
“You don’t have to be drunk to enjoy our pie … but it helps.”
Christopher Nolan invented time travel and is enjoying dessert.
(looking over his shoulder) Don’t tell anyone, but in the helmet-cam footage of Seal Team Six attacking Osama’s compound in Pakistan, they can clearly be seen taking Bin Laden out with one of these pies. I’m telling ya, they are killer pies!
By the way I had to strain my eyes to see the rest of the fork supporting the pie…it is either floating in front of his mouth..or he is regurgitating it.
I would like to point out the overtly Constructivist graphic design of the Ad. Probably made by a Russian sympathizer.
93 comments in and I’m the only one who sees Ancestor Pac-Man?
Damn you all to hell. Now I want banana cream pie. It’s 11pm Sunday night, and I’m 5 miles from the nearest possible source. FML.
I’m so intrigued by American recipes that call for “pie filling” of various varieties. This just doesn’t exist in New Zealand, we have to make our own filling from scratch!
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