English baker caught using illegal sprinkles smuggled from the US

A customer at the Leeds-based bakery Get Baked recently reported the business to the West Yorkshire Trading Standards regulatory body for violating sprinkle laws with their best-selling Birthday Bruce biscuits and raspberry glazed donut cookies.

Yes, really.

As the BBC explains:

Trading Standards said the E127 food colouring, also know as Erythrosine, is only approved for use in the UK and EU in cocktail cherries and candied cherries.

The ingredient has been linked to problems with hyperactivity in children and effects on their mood and behaviour.

"[The inspector] said they'd had reports of us using illegal sprinkles and I actually laughed by mistake, then realised he was being serious," [Get Baked owner Rich] Myers said.

"To whoever reported us to Trading Standards, all I have to say is: 'Dear Lord, what a sad little life Jane'."

Mr. Myers expanded on his frustrations in a viral Facebook post that turned "Sprinklegate" into a national controversy:

We have heard back from Trading Standards, and have been told that we must cease use of our sprinkles with immediate effect.

Obviously, we will be following the rules, and removing them as of now.

Whilst this might seem like it's not a big deal, it's actually very fucking annoying, as A LOT of people ask for Birthday Bruce's and Rasperry Glazed Donut Cookies are not only our best selling cookie, but they're utterly sensational.

It is HIGHLY unlikely that we will find any legal sprinkles that we will use as a replacement. British sprinkles just aren't the same, they're totally shit and I hate them.

I am extremely passionate about sprinkles.

Mr. Myers added that, "My daughter, who is now 7 months, has to live with the fact that daddy can't take her to Disneyland, because man can't sell any fucking cookies."

Sadly, the company has been bombarded with negative reviews about their willing involvement with confectionary contraband. Several former winners of the Great British Bake-Off have come to Mr. Myers' defense, however, echoing his complaints that the compliant British sprinkles actually do kind of suck.

Anecdotally, as someone with ADHD, I feel pretty fucking confident that the American sprinkles I consumed as a child had absolutely fuck-all to do with the chemical regulatory dysfunction of my dopamine receptors. I do wonder, however, if UK regulations are different for jimmies.

Sprinkles: Leeds Get Baked bakery bins best-seller in topping row [BBC]

And Now, Some Drama Over Sprinkles [Mia Mercado / The Cut]

Image: Public Domain via PxHere