Back in December 2022, a walrus named Thor stopped by the town of Scarborough in the UK, presumably to catch a glimpse of the annual New Year's Fireworks celebration. But Thor got a little too excited about the prospect of seeing some colorful explosions in the sky, and began furiously wanking on the docks, causing the town to cancel their fferalestivities. What's that old saying? "Never interrupt a masturbating walrus?" Something like that.
Anyway, the local marine animal rescue league kept an eye on the grumpy gripper until he finished, and carried on his way, presumably to wank upon the ocean waves. But it seems that Thor has since resurfaced with his mighty Mjölnir in tow — this time landing on the shores of Breiðdalsvík in Iceland. From RÚV, Iceland's national public service news network:
A walrus settled grumpily onto a floating pier in the town just after 9am, turning up its nose (or tusks?) at offers of frozen herring thrown its way by the harbour guard.
The walrus is about three meters long with 30 cm long fangs.
[…]
People passing by have interrupted him to take pictures, and when a drone was flown near, he reacted. When people get too close to him, he rises up, bellows, and emits a foul plume of steam.
Another Icelandic news outlet, Austurfrétt, added (via Google Translate):
Walruses have been seen a little in the Austfjörður, but a few years ago at least 4 walruses appeared in Austurland. One of them appeared on June 17 in Reyðarfjörður. He had a GPS device and was from the Faroe Islands. The nature center has only followed his travels.
Skarphéðinn says the remarkable thing about the walrus is that there was probably a walrus population in Iceland that the Icelanders exterminated. Walruses were hunted in many parts of the country because they were important in the fishing industry of the Vikings.
"The closest walruses to us live in Svalbard and Greenland, but can also come from the Faroe Islands", says Skarphéðinn.
The British Divers Marine Life Rescue, which had watched over the Walrus in Scarborough, confirmed by its markings that it was indeed the same wanking behemoth — although it seems he's not quite as aroused by Iceland as he was by England. At least, not yet, anyway.
New Year's Eve fireworks cancelled because of masturbating walrus [Robin Perrie / Herald Sun]
Foul grumpy walrus comes to town [Darren Adam / RÚV]
Thor, the masturbating walrus, finds pleasure in new location: 'Delighted' [Brooke Kato / New York Post]
