Lauren Boebert preaches Biblical apocalypse and "uprising of righteousness"

Gun-toting GOP congresswoman Lauren Boebert took a break from groping dates in public to warn of an imminent biblical apocalypse and an "uprising of righteousness" on the far-right Rumble platform.

"It doesn't matter if we are in divided government right now," she said in a gravely schoolmarmish tone. "Jesus is still Lord, and I believe that we are going to have an uprising of righteousness in our nation, that God is exalting those who humble themselves, and that we are going to see the signs and wonders that are talked about in the Bible in this generation, in this time."

Did you hear that folks? If you're among the self-proclaimed "righteous" like mom-of-the-year Boebert, get your affairs in order because the holy conservative rapture is nigh! Soon you'll be whisked away to the great celestial MAGA paradise where sidearms and Big Macs rain from the clouds above.

Of course, crackpot doomsday predictions are a dime a dozen from hustlers selling apocalyptic snake oil. But how can we doubt Boebert's sincerity when she tells us she believes it? Case closed, the end is near!

Previously: The Boebert tradition: Another mugshot joins the family collection