Welcome to 1692! Or wait, no — it's 2025 and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is a proud member of the Communion of Reformed Evangelical Churches (CREC), described by AP as an "archconservative network of Christian congregations." Think Handsmaid's Tale meets Idiocracy.
According to AP, the church practices complementarianism, "the patriarchal idea that men and women have different God-given roles. Women within CREC churches cannot hold church leadership positions, and married women are to submit to their husbands."
Their star preacher, a "jovial" Doug Wilson who believes the 19th Amendment (granting women the right to vote) was "a bad idea," blessed us with this theological gem about women on submarines: "It's like having a playpen that you put 50 cats in and then drop catnip in the middle of it. Whatever happens is going to be ugly." Is the submarine ugly, Doug, or is your mind?
CREC has conveniently opened a new DC outpost, which Hegseth attended on day one like a fanboy at a comic con. His Pentagon spokesman confirmed Hegseth "very much appreciates many of Mr. Wilson's writings and teachings." Shocking, given Hegseth's own stellar record of questioning women in combat roles.
But don't worry — Wilson insists this isn't "an ecclesiastical lobbying effort." They're just trying to give Trump administration officials "an opportunity to meet with God." Because nothing says "healthy democracy" like your Defense Secretary belonging to a church that thinks half the population shouldn't vote.
Wilson's publishing house, Canon Press, pushes out gems like The Case for Christian Nationalism and It's Good to Be a Man: A Handbook for Godly Masculinity. Coming soon to a Pentagon book club near you!
Previously:
• Pretty-boy Hegseth splurges on makeup room in the Pentagon
• Hegseth forced to quit vet groups due to financial mismanagement, sexual misconduct, and public intoxication, says New Yorker
• Inept: Pete Hegseth accidentally texts U.S. war plans to Atlantic editor, says new report
