scarfolk

Britain publishes Brexit advice guide for the likely event of a "no deal" divorce from Europe

The British government, veering toward a "no deal" exit from the European Union, has published "practical and proportionate" advice for citizens in the event of this taking place. The BBC posted excerpts.

• Pharmaceutical companies have been told to stockpile an extra six weeks' worth of medicine to ensure a "seamless" supply • New picture warnings will be needed for cigarette packets as the EU owns the copyright to the current ones • Britons living elsewhere in Europe could lose access to UK banking and pension services.

The government says the economy will shrink 7.7% under a no-deal Brexit scenario. It's shocking to imagine even in the abstract, but then you realize how unevenly that suffering will be distributed. It's no wonder Prime Minister May had to promise not to put the army on the streets.

I'd like to see a BREXIT SURVIVAL GUIDE along "Scarfolk" lines.

42. How to skin a rabbit43. Unguents and potions...42 (appendix). How to skin a human

UPDATE:

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UK government accidentally includes Scarfolk poster endorsing culls of rabid children in official publication

The latest edition of the Civil Service Quarterly from Her Majesty's Government accidentally included a satirical poster from Scarfolk, the nightmarish alternate reality of a perpetually renewed decade of Thatcher/Cthulhu crossovers. Read the rest

Liartown: the First Four Years, a tour-de-force of killer shooping and acerbic wit

Sean Tejaratchi's amazing Liartown, USA (previously) is a bottomless well of astoundingly good photoshops from a parallel universe of bitter, ha-ha-only-serious sight gags, minutely detailed, lovingly crafted and often NSFW; Tejaratchi's new 248-page color, 8.5"x11" anthology, LiarTown: The First Four Years 2013-2017 is a powerful dose of creepypasta in its purest form.

Wanted: real British criminals to commit real British crimes

The artifacts that tumble out of Scarfolk (previously), the English horror-town stuck in a ten-year loop from 1970-1980, continue their amazing run of being so very much on-point with the issues facing the UK today, case in point: The Campaign for Real British Crime. Read the rest

Scarfolk's waterboarding accessory set for Action Man

From Scarfolk, the English horror-town stuck in a ten-year loop in the 1970s, comes this Action Man waterboarding playset, marketed after overwhelming popular demand: "A survey conducted in 1978 found that the jobs boys most wanted when they were older included astronaut, engine driver and chief torturer for a totalitarian regime which uses its cover as a civilised democracy to commit national and international atrocities with impunity." Read the rest

Curses, superstition, and slaughtered billy goats: why the Cubs World Series win means your vote matters

Oh, just the 7th largest gathering of humans in history happened last week.

Five million of the most patient humans in the world -- Cubs fans -- descended on Chicago's lakefront last week to celebrate a victory that was against all odds. But win they did, ending the longest World Series drought in baseball history -- 108 years -- and the lifting of the Billy Goat Curse. Friday's event was the 7th largest get-together in human history, about a million shy of the 2015 papal visit to the Philippines. The rest of us can keep it simple and get a glimpse of the Cubs on The Tonight Show Monday. The event in Grant Park turned out to be a pretty tame party for Chicago, when you consider the things fans have done over the years to try to lift the curse.

But first, what is the Billy Goat Curse? In 1945, Billy Goat Tavern owner Billy Sianis and his goat were ejected from Wrigley Field during Game 4 of the Cubs first World Series since 1908. Apparently the goat's odor was offensive, Sianis was offended and enraged, and legend has it that he declared, "Them Cubs, they ain't gonna win no more." The Cubs lost the game that day and haven't even been a contender in another World Series, let alone champions, in the 108 years since. Until last week.

Actual Things People Did -- and Ate -- To Lift the Curse

As the century passed without a win, younger generations sought to "reverse the curse." Here's a few notable attempts from just the last ten years:

Hanging a butchered goat on the statue of beloved Cubs sports announcer, the late Harry Caray, famous for his hearty rendition of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game." Passionate move, folks, but gross. Read the rest

What fastmouthed auctioneers are saying

"The auctioneer is typically speaking logical sentences quickly," says Barry Baker of Ohio Real Estate Auctions, "with filler words mixed in." Read the rest

Scarfolk: Win your human rights!

The dystopian satire site Scarfolk (previously) has scored another direct hit, this time on the human-rights-hating new, post-Brexit Prime Minister and the savage faction she's stacked her cabinet with. Read the rest

Amazon is suing its own retailers over fake reviews

If you're an Amazon seller and you pay people to review your products on Amazon, the company may sue you. The online commerce giant sued three sellers today for using sockpuppet accounts to post glowing but phony product reviews. Read the rest

Visiting Scarfolk, the most spectacular dystopia of the 1970s

Since April of 2013, Cory has posted frequently about Scarfolk for Boing Boing. Now, Hunter Oatman-Stanford has interviewed Richard Littler, the creator of this fictional 1970s dystopia. Even in the three years since Cory's first post, the line between Littler's fiction and our contemporary reality has gotten disturbingly blurry.

Here's a snip from Littler:

"Scarfolk is paranoid and cynical, and often touches on themes such as surveillance and the diminishment of civil rights. To a certain extent, Scarfolk is speculative because it plays with the recent political developments and either subverts them or exaggerates them to the point of absurdity, though that’s becoming difficult with people like Donald Trump and the incumbent British government. Increasingly, there are official actions and statements that come across like they’ve already been created by satirists. It’s becoming hard for us to outdo our sources!"

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Scarfolk's lost 1970s budget announcement lays bare the modern Tory strategy

Scarfolk is a fictional English horror-town stuck in a perpetual loop, from 1970-1980, from which beautifully weathered artifacts escape onto our modern Web. Read the rest

Romance Novels from Scarfolk, the English horror town trapped in the 1970s

Scarfolk, you will recall, is a Wyndhamesque horror-town in the English countryside, trapped in a continuous loop from 1970-1980, whose strange artifacts slowly leak into our world. Read the rest

Star Wars medical merch from Scarfolk, the horror-town stuck in the 1970s

Scarfolk (previously) is the English country town that is caught in a perpetual ten-year loop from 1970-1980; in 1977, while the rest of the world was getting Kenner Star Wars toys, Scarfolk's children were treated to a line of Star Wars medical equipment from the good people at PalliativeToy. Read the rest

I-Spy Surveillance Books: a child's first Snoopers Charter

A timely entry from the Scarfolk blog, which documents the doings in a small, sinister English town caught in a loop between 1970 and 1979: the I-Spy Surveillance books, which "transformed the tedium of surveillance into play, encouraging children to routinely observe and record the actions, speech and private correspondence of people who the government deemed to be enemies of society. These included 'free-thinkers, beneficiaries of welfare and other degenerates. [...] Extremists, potential extremists, and those whose profound lack of extremist attributes is extreme in itself, are also worthy of suspicion and censure.'" Read the rest

Parents: beware of the Infant Catcherbots

A poster from Scarfolk, the English horror-town that loops through the decade 1970-1980, over and over, warns of the Infant Catcherbots that roam the town's roads, looking for children whose parents unwisely hid them from the civic trials of the 1970s. Read the rest

Officer suspended after refusing to kill baby bears

A mama bear with two cubs made a habit of sneaking into a mobile home in British Columbia, Canada and raiding the freezer. On one of these visits, conservation officer Bryan Casavant was ordered to kill all three bears. But after putting down the mama bear, he didn't have the heart to kill the babies.

Despite being ordered to put them down, Casavant tranquilized the cubs and took them to a veterinary hospital, where they were deemed to be in good health. The cubs, named Jordan and Athena, were then taken to a recovery center run by the North Island Wildlife Recovery Association in Errington.

For his good deed, Casavant is now suspended from his job and under investigation. Fortunately, he's got a lot of public support for his heroic act.

At the time of this writing, an online petition calling on B.C. Environment Minister Mary Polak to reinstate Casavant has attracted nearly 152,000 signatures. It only needs around 48,000 more to reach its goal of 200,000.

Make that 47,999. Read the rest

Links: Jail bosses who steal from workers; realistic online mental health quiz; RCMP classes "anti-petroleum" activists as terrorists; Lenovo thought you'd love that spyware!

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