A very angry macaque monkey on a motorcycle tried to steal a human child in Jakarta

I don't know anything about the context here except that Topeng Monyet — forcing macaques to wear human clothes and ride bicycles for entertainment — is a somewhat-common practice in Jakarta that's also (understandably) frowned upon by the animal rights community.

When I frame it that way, I can kind of understand why this badass monkey is so pissed.

(Just a heads-up: it's a strong, scary monkey going after a kid.)

As of this writing, this video has nearly 11 million views, because it's just so WTF.

Top image: Anton Ardyanto / Wikimedia Commons (CC 4.0) Read the rest

Move over, Florida Man, and make room for feral Florida monkeys with herpes

Back in 1938, a local Florida cruise operator called Colonel Tooey — "Colonel" was in fact his first name, according to the New York Times — let loose about a dozen rhesus macaque monkeys onto a man-made island inside Silver Springs State Park. According to National Geographic, Colonel had big plans to build a Tarzan-themed attraction there.

But naturally, the monkeys escaped, and over the years, multiplied. The International Primate Protection League tried to keep their eye on them, and they (apparently) became a bit of a tourist attraction. Eventually, wildlife officials tried to tame the population, approving the removal of more than 1,000 of these feral macaques. As of 2018, a study in the Journal of Wildlife Management estimated that there were still around 300 of them now roving around the strip malls of suburban Florida. And some of them have migrated more than 100 miles away, as far as Jacksonville.

And about 30 percent of the remaining feral rhesus macaques also have Herpes-B, also known as "monkey herpes."

Monkey herpes is rare in humans, with only about 50 known cases (none of which were actually contracted from monkeys). But it can kill a person in just six weeks.

More and more of these rhesus macaques have been found roaming around residential neighbors in Florida. While they tend to be pretty skittish, they can also get aggressive around humans; they've even been known to organize mass raids of deer feeders in Florida. So local authorities are raising red flags, in hopes of preventing the inevitable Florida-Man-Gets-Bitten-By-Feral-Herpes-Monkey headlines. Read the rest

Nazis train giant ape to destroy Wonder Woman

TV shows were much more realistic in the 1970s

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Welcome to Sacred Monkey Forest

Mean Monkey in the Monkey Forest
"It felt like one of those horror-movie moments when a party of teenagers are lost in the woods and stumble upon some cute thing and everyone says, 'Aw, isn't that cute.' Then it turns from cute to evil and kills them." Tom Fassbender takes his kids to a monkey park in Bali.

Mean Monkey Monday 12

Emmanuel Frémiet (1824 - 1910) “Gorilla Carrying off a Woman” (1887) (Via Suddenly)

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Mean Monkey Monday 11

(Via X-Ray Delta One)

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Mean Monkey Monday 10

[Video Link] Monkey does not like being videotaped. (Thanks, Andrea!) Read the rest

Mean Monkey Monday (bonus material 1)

Wild primates vs. domesticated primates in Japan.

There really isn't much that needs translating in this report: it's just a collection of footage showing monkeys attacking people, grabbing food from the hands of tourists, shoplifting, and doing other aggressive or shocking things.

The Aggressive Monkeys of Nikko

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Mean Monkey Monday 9

"Chewed to bits by vicious hard-shelled mutant monkeys."

This concludes our Mean Monkey Monday series. We hope you enjoyed it!

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Mean Monkey Monday 8

"The Lady and the Gorilla."

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Mean Monkey Monday 7

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Mean Monkey Monday 6

"I cut my way out of primate hell."

"(Sorry for the duplicate apes -- I did these in advance and clearly screwed up!)

(Thanks, Rootboy!)

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Mean Monkey Monday 5

"Attacked by a Giant Gorilla."

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Mean Monkey Monday 4

"We were attacked by devil apes, again." Read the rest

Mean Monkey Monday 3

"We were attacked by devil apes."

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Mean Monkey Monday 2

This week's Mean Monkey Monday was brought to you by Subtropic Bob.

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Mean Monkey Monday 1

This week's Mean Monkey Monday was brought to you by Justin.

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