Trump sent his favorite failed-hillbilly-turned-professional-bootlicker JD Vance to yip and snap at the United States' former allies by dismissing the United Kingdom as "some random country that hasn't fought a war in 30 years."
Once again, our chubby cheeked VP revealed himself to be the real-life version of a privileged manchild we all know and loathe — Francis Buxton, the spoiled rich kid who stole Pee-wee Herman's bike because he wanted it and daddy wouldn't buy it for him. Only instead of stealing bikes, Vance is trying to steal Ukraine's sovereignty and hand it to his corporate sugar daddies like some sort of reverse Robin Hood with a neatly trimmed beard and gorgeous eyelashes.
When confronted with the inconvenient fact that British forces actually fought and died alongside Americans in Iraq and Afghanistan for over a decade (with one former minister calling Vance a "clown" who should "wind his neck in"), Vance pulled the classic narcissist move of pretending he meant something else entirely. "I don't even mention the UK or France in the clip, both of whom have fought bravely alongside the US over the last 20 years, and beyond," he whined, stamping his adorable little foot, like a toddler trying to explain why the crayon marks all over the wall are actually fake news created by the deep state to make him look bad. "There are many countries who are volunteering (privately or publicly) support who have neither the battlefield experience nor the military equipment to do anything meaningful."
In other words, his performative antagonism toward allies amounted to, "I'm talking about some mystery country but you can't make me say which one it is because I'm Trump's special boy" — conveniently forgetting that Elon Musk already has that role locked down. Just another wannabe edgelord trying desperately to impress Daddy Trump while pretending his initial comments weren't exactly what everyone knew they were — a cheap shot at Britain that blew up in his face when someone reminded him how Google works.
Previously:
• JD Vance's creepshow logic: Trump hugs my wife, so he's not racist (video)
• JD Vance said Amazon paid Black Lives Matter so rioters would burn rival stores
• Trump campaign fails to spin JD Vance yelling at his son into a heartwarming story
• JD Vance is on a crusade to make divorce impossible
