The Dark Dice podcast-based RPG is about to get a new elven sorcerer for its second season. Deadline reports:

Jeff Goldblum is entering a new world. The Jurassic Park star is to lend his voice to Dungeons & Dragons podcast Dark Dice.

Jeffsum generates placeholder text in the distinctive idiom of famed actor Jeff Goldblum. [via @littlenono]

God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates Man. Man destroys God. Man creates Dinosaurs. Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend. Yes, Yes, without the oops!

Did you know… Jeff Goldblum plays jazz with the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra weekly at an L.A. club called Rockwell (road trip!)? And that, at the age of 66, he has released his debut album? Well, both of those are true. And, during the week of Thanksgiving, that new album of his — The Capitol Studios Sessions — got 10 Goldblums out of a possible 10 Goldblums on the Billboard Jazz Albums chart. — Read the rest

I am a sucker for anything with Jeff Goldblum in it. That lovable weirdo schtick of his works for me (and, bonus, we learn he doesn't believe in astrology). Who makes a series about cooking if they can't cook? — Read the rest

To commemorate the 25th anniversary of Jurassic Park, a 25-foot-tall statue of Jeff Goldblum (as his character in the film, the sexy and shirtless Dr. Ian Malcolm) has been placed at the base of London's Tower Bridge. The piece is called Jurassic Jeff and it will be on display through July 26. — Read the rest

Jeff Goldblum admits that he can't cook. But that won't keep Jeff Goldblum from cooking. In this video Jeff Goldblum Jeff Goldblums the shit out of a pot of soup. Product plugs abound, but hey: Jeff Goldblum.

It's not as good as Cooking with Chrisopher Walken, but I'll take it.

Whoa, Funko has made a Pop! figure of a shirtless, bleeding Jeff Goldblum, as seen in 1993's Jurassic Park.

Rowr, is it hot in here or is it a "Wounded Dr. Ian Malcolm" toy?

This is an exclusive 25th anniversary Jurassic Park item and Funko is only making it available in-store at Target. — Read the rest

Here's a meta moment for you: Jeff Goldblum critiquing other people's Jeff Goldblum tattoos in the way only Jeff Goldblum could.

"Ten Goldblums out of a possible 10 Goldblums."

Previously: Just a drawing of actor Jeff Goldblum as your personal motivational centaur

Believe.

This commercial for GE Link Light Bulbs starring Jeff Goldblum was directed by Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, bizarro-discomfort comedy performers and directors best known for the Cartoon Network Adult Swim programs "Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!," "Check it Out With Dr. — Read the rest

'National Enquirer'

"Kardashian Empire of Greed Busted!" proclaims the cover story. But it's last week's news: that the SEC fined Kim Kardashian $1.26 million for failing to disclose that she had been paid to promote cryptocurrency. Sister Kylie is allegedly "caught in bait and switch scam," and matriarch Kris Kardashian "accused of pedalling porn!"

I've never really understood the modern concept of "owning a town" — other than, ya know, terrible wannabe feudal lords.

But thanks a Reddit AMA this week, I've got a better idea of what exactly goes into owning and rebuilding up a deserted ghost town. — Read the rest

Fanny pack + Danny DeVito = Fanny DeVito, of course!

This caught my eye because I recently discovered my 15-year-old daughter is aware of Danny DeVito through memes, much like she is of Nic Cage and Jeff Goldblum. I guess what I'm saying is that teens are amused by Mr. — Read the rest

According to the nerd media website, Bleeding Cool, Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea's crazed, over-the-top, post-modern sci-fi satire, the Illuminatus! trilogy is slated to become a TV series. No details are given about where it might land, but given Hivemind's association with Amazon Prime and Netflix, one of these outlets is a likely bet. — Read the rest

During an advanced screening of Thor: Ragnarok at a Los Angeles movieplex, talk show host James Corden interrupted the film to present a special "4D version" of it. The audience appeared annoyed by the interruption until they realized the film's actual cast was on hand to act out a condensed low-budget depiction of the movie in real life. — Read the rest

Wes Anderson is raffling a chance to make dog sounds for his upcoming film Isle of Dogs, among other cool prizes. Proceeds benefit the non-profit Film Foundation, which has restored nearly 700 films.

A pretty great set until the 21st Century, which, um, might be the joke. Burgess Meredith, Dick Van Dyke, Vincent Price, Gene Wilder, Kyle McLachan, Christopher Walken, Jeff Goldblum. [via Kottke]

Possibly realizing that he me have overstayed his welcome in a fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie that was not well-received, Johnny Depp has signed on to appear in Wes Anderson's next movie, The Grand Budapest Hotel, which includes an illustrious cast of thousands and one Mr. — Read the rest

So, incredibly bummer summer news, you guys: Chumbawamba, a band that has actually been around for 30 years and became fleetingly famous for exactly one song that made sense only to people from the UK, has announced that they've broken up. — Read the rest

Our pal Douglas Rushkoff was on the Colbert Report on Wednesday night, talking about his new book Life Inc. It's a very intense 6 minutes and I think Doug does a masterful job of getting his points across, and his passion for the subject matter is palpable. — Read the rest