Sugar ad: your diet is depriving your kids of vital sugar!

Here's an undated ad from "Sugar Information, Inc" (our old friends), warning mothers that if they include their kids in their sugar-free, dieting lifestyles, they will be depriving the poor kiddlees of vital sugar and exposing them to "exhaustion." Obviously, this was before the cancer scares and other stuff about artificial sweeteners, because surely that's the major reason to keep your kids away from artificial sweeteners. I love the fact that they recommend sugar for dieters, too: "gives you the va-va-voom you need for all those exercises!"



  1. Va-Va-Voom. An often under-looked state on consciousness as referenced in many fine medical journals.

  2. I get the point you’re trying to make, but there’s a difference between sugar (sucrose) and high-fructose corn syrup.  Given the choice, I think we’d all rather have sucrose in our drinks than hfcs.  Is it still a crapton of ’empty’ calories?  Yes.  But they’re tastier and less unhealty when presented as sucrose.

    1. Oh man. Now the Corn Sugar Society of America (or whatever) is going to flood the thread with comments. 

  3. No doubt about it. Sugar promotes weight loss. Wait, what?

    Also, you know what else can protect kids from “bugs and ailments?” Vitamins and minerals. Are there any drinks with sugar AND vitamins? Let me think about it . . . oh right. Fruit juice. Not pop. Fruit juice. Weird, that doesn’t need to have added sugar. Why aren’t they promoting that. Oh. Right.

    1.  Mrs. Kagehisa occasionally scolds me for my habit of buying extremely large amounts of 100% fruit juice and storing them in the basement.  She says “it’s just empty calories!”.  I still have not figured out exactly what she means by this, but the kids and I love juice, so I keep doing it.

          1.  Oh yeah.  I hate juice with no fiber – the cloudier the better!  And the best stuff is not only full of pulp, it’s fermenting, too.  Mmmmmm apple cider……

        1. I see Huffpo as Drudge Report read backwards.  A little truth whipped up into a tornado of inflammatory truthiness, clearly intended to deceive people to serve political goals.

          Despite that, I read your link, and all the stuff it linked, and the response from the Florida Department of Citrus, and the comments on Civil Eats, and food renegade, etc.  And here’s what I got out of it.

          At least two brands of packaged orange juice use a process where the juice is separated, the parts of it that can be boiled are boiled, and the parts of it that can’t be boiled without being destroyed are added back in after the boiling, so that the juice doesn’t rot or turn into poison in the bottle.  Hurray for Louis Pasteur.

          Unsurprisingly, the parts of the orange that can’t be boiled but also do not support microbial life, are volatile flavor agents – a.k.a. chemicals.  You know, chemicals, the stuff oranges are made out of?  Yes, those exact chemicals.  I can’t muster any fear or horror… I myself am made of chemicals, and so is all my food.

          Huffpo takes these facts, which apply to a specific brand of a specific type of juice, and attempts to create fear of “the juice industry”.  I think we can assume that the majority of Florida juice growers donate more to the Republican party than they do to the Democrats – because that’s how Huffpo articles always seem to break down, somehow.

          Oho, looky there, a little googling and we see that the Florida Orange Juice Growers Association is rabidly right wing, and has used Anita Bryant as a spokesperson, and, well, I’m done with this now.

          EDIT: You’re right, robcat, it is better to eat the fruit, and I can’t deny it. But reading Huffpo’s inflammatory and manipulative nonsense always sets me off. Sorry.

          1.  In Australia there’s a brand called Preshafruit, and they sterilise the juice by simply applying pressure, lots of it. It’s not as cheap (currently) as boiled juice, but it Really tastes just like fruit does.

      1. The brain doesn’t recognize calories in liquids so they do not satisfy hunger, but the excess calories are still stored as fat.  As far as that goes, fruit juice is no better than regular soft drinks.

        1. Wait, so drinks won’t satisfy a feeling of hunger. They still have vitamin C or whatever though. They are not the best way to get vitamin C or whatever, but it’s still there. Which it isn’t in Pepsi.

          1. Nuts. A handful of nuts is your friend. Or an ounce of cheese. A couple of olives. Anything with some fat.

          2. @Antinous_Moderator:disqus

            Right on.
            After an allergy induced episode of high blood pressure, I implemented a daily quota of fifteen almonds, ten pistachios and some strips of dried mango into my diet.
            The level of potassium on nuts is off the charts.

            Then there’s olive oil, garlic and habanero, my holy trinity.

          3. A lot of micronutrients are fat soluble, so people who avoid fat also avoid vitamins and minerals. Nuts and seeds are incredibly nutritious.

        2.  I have not found this to be true in my case.  Once my stomach is full, my hunger is satisfied.   Water works as well as anything else.

          I have noticed that hunger works quite differently in different people.  I can see at least three distinct patterns.

      2. Would you eat eight oranges at a sitting?  Twelve apples? Fruit has a high glycemic index because of the sugars, but generally has a low glycemic load because the sugars are a fairly small part of the whole package.  Take out the rest of the fruit and you’re sucking down vast amounts of sugar.  Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to put apple juice in the baby’s bottle?

        1.  Er, no, because the acids make my urethra sting after about five, and yes, 12 raw apples if I’m really hungry, and yes, but I personally wouldn’t put anything in a baby’s bottle that didn’t come out of a woman’s breast except in extremis, and even then I’d use the best approximation of breast milk available.

          I understand her point, now, though – thanks!

        1. Dublin Dr Pepper, babelicious.  Of course, it’s $2.05 per 8oz bottle at my neighborhood specialty sodee-pop shoppe, or you can get a case of those li’l bottles shipped straight from the bottler in Dublin, TX for about $40.

          Some days, it’s worth it.

          1. Unfortunately the Dr Pepper/Snapple monster didn’t like that (apparently DDP got so popular that other regional bottlers got jealous) and they forced the plant to stop making it.  Thanks for the link, I’ll be ordering some.

          2. Dude, seriously?  Aw, man… and Bill Kloster spins in his grave.

            Just two years ago, Dr Pepper celebrated their 125th anniversary with cans using the original cane sugar recipe.  Who was the Dublin plant hurting?

            Think I’ll write a letter to Wayne Sanders and Larry Young over at Dr Pepper Snapple and explain to ’em I’m switching to Mr. Pibb.

          3.  Not sure if the Dublin plant still does DP. I think they got cut out. But that merely freed them to make their own sodas, so it’s all good :)

          4. What I don’t yet understand, Dublin Dr Pepper is a cult classic, but they had to shut down because “Doctor Pepper” is in the name.

            Why not continue to make it under a new, nudge-nudge wink-wink name, such as “Dublin Classic”, or something like that?  In fact, being tied to the corporate name brand “Doctor Pepper” may have been a hindrance for decades.


    1.  Lay low, look for the poorer quarters where the ragged people go, search for the places only they will know.  You’ll find the mexican coca-cola right next to the jarritos, on the shelf above the extra picante pulparindos.

      1. In California the poorer quarters where the ragged people go includes Target which sells Jarritos and Mexican Coke (among other things), and it’s usually the same price as you’d get from an actual poorer quarter where the ragged people go (lai lai lai lai lai lai lai).

        Also Wegmans grocery stores in NY and surrounding states have it, though it’s more expensive (and we’re about as far from the border, culturally anyway, as possible though of course we are right next to the other border).

        Of course my favorite time to buy Mexican coke is from the poorer quarters where ragged people go, or with pizza slices in the village in NYC, etc. Times when you’re on foot wandering through a city. Gives you the va-va-voom you need.

        1. Target doesn’t carry Mexican soft drinks around here, but we’ve got lots of little tiendas and taquerias.

      1. If by “quenches” you mean “renders you insensible to” then yes, hydrocodone surely does the job.

        1. They’re both slightly speedy. That’s one of the reasons that they’re so much more popular than most opiates.

  4. “Their thirst craves anything cold and wet.  But their bodies need much more. Energy.”  Sounds like the tagline to some weird sci-fi horror flick.

    1.  “Deprive them of food energy, and your kids may turn to other sources, like that 220 volt socket in the basement. Imagine them, spasming and foaming at mouth, alone in the cellar, just because you were too much of a chickenshit calorie-hater to care.”

      1. I’m more worried about them replacing shed cells with polarized silicon.

    2. “Their thirst craves anything cold and wet”. So that’s why they don’t let kids in the back at the bloodbank…

  5. The ad is undated. I almost said that, except for the haircut, I could believe the ad was current. But then it occurred to me that maybe the haircut was a subtle way of hearkening back to the good ol’ days. Maybe it’s the ad’s way of saying, “Sugar! Remember how good it was? Brought to you by the same people who want to put lead back in your paint and asbestos in your walls.”

      1. You mean the “small.”  One of the things I like about Carl’s Jr is that the 32oz size is a “medium.”  The same volume that the 7-Eleven stores of my youth called the “Big Gulp” back in the late 70s.

        As recently as 1993, I’d occasionally buy a “Double Gulp.”  It’s a half gallon, and the top of the cup folds just like a milk carton since no round plastic lid could keep that drink from completely soaking your lap when you drove over a speed bump.

        USA!  USA!  USA!

        1. The first couple of times I went to Carl’s Jr I thought they must have mistakenly given me the wrong cup when I got the “medium” combo until I looked behind the counter at what size cups were available.

  6. Several years ago, I was talking to a woman who was a school nurse at one of LA’s most prestigious Westside private schools,  and she told told me that at one point, she and a couple of other school nurses had been comparing notes, and they realized they’d all been seeing an unusual and unfamiliar constellation of symptoms, and wondering if there was some new low-grade infection on the loose or something.

    Then the school got a new hire, fresh from a stint with an NGO disaster-aid organization, and she recognized the symptoms right away – as malnutrition.

    Everyone was dumbfounded.  How could this many kids, from some of the wealthiest families in the city, be malnourished?

    Turned out that body-conscious Hollywood moms and dads had been feeding their little darlings a “healthy” diet consisting entirely of low-fat and mostly nonfat or fat-free, sugar-free products of the high-protein, low-carb variety.

    The kids were getting plenty of protein, since it’s the one major nutrient that hasn’t (yet!) been portayed as evil and labeled “bad for you” – and almost nothing else.

    It produced an atypical set of malnourishment symptoms, because malnutrition typically includes a lack of adequate protein.  But still, that’s what it was.

    1. Interesting story….but it doesn’t surprise me.  The kids who bring the worst lunches at my kids’ schools?  The children of doctors.  Money, privilege, AND specific health knowledge, but so many of them feed their kids the worst junk food available.  What’s up with that?

  7. I hope within a decade or two we’ll be able to look back on all of today’s ads and claims of products that “remove toxins” and laugh knowingly. That seems to be the latest unsubstantiated bullcrap theory to explain how modern snake oils or “therapies” work.

    Also can I just say how much I hate it when I read a recipe for some fairly natural old-timey food, like fermented beet juice, and after the recipe they tell you it’s great for helping with liver ailments, kidney, stomache, brain, eye, ear, nerves, liverishness, women’s complaints, straightens armpit hair, don’t forget cancer. It’s like they’ve been cribbing off Tom Waits.

  8. That B/W poster is prime material for a “Mad Men” prequel.  Surely they’re rolled paper straws, remember those?  When wet, their texture on my lips made me feel anxious, sorta like the feel of cotton balls or velvet on dry hands.

    Yeah, those paper straws were around until at least the late seventies, maybe the early eighties.

Comments are closed.