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"Fiber to the press release"

Techdirt's Mike Masnick has a gift for catchy, acerbic shorthand terms to describe shenanigans. He coined the term "Streisand Effect" to describe any situation in which a relatively obscure piece of information becomes widely known through a ham-fisted attempt to censor it. He's done it again: "Fiber to the press-release" is the phenomenon of incumbent carriers like AT&T making showy announcements about their intention to build super-fast broadband networks to replace their creaky, under-invested monopoly infrastructure, without ever mentioning scale, timelines, pricing, or any other specifics, only to have the announcement lapped up and repeated by a credulous press. Cory 5

English mispronunciations that became common usage


Here's a great history of English mispronunciations that became the received pronunciations. The piece makes the important point that English has no canon, no unequivocal right way or wrong way of speaking -- a point that is often lost in Internet linguistic pedantry and literacy privilege.

I'm as guilty as anyone of thinking that my English is the best English, but the next time I wince at "nukular," I'll remind myself that "bird" started out as "brid" and "wasp" started out as "waps," but were mispronounced into common usage.

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Drunken bet results in 99-character name-change: "Full Metal Havok..."

Nat writes, "A Dunedin, NZ, man lost a bet five years ago and changed his name by deed poll to the longest name he could make (99 characters, 1 shy of the Dept of Internal Affairs limit). I want to know what they were drinking because the name is fantastic. "The 22-year-old man from Normanby is now legally known as 'Full Metal Havok More Sexy N Intelligent Than Spock And All The Superheroes Combined With Frostnova'." (Thanks, Nat!) Cory 21

Well-Sorted Version, an alphabetical Bible.


The Well-Sorted Version of the King James Bible takes all the letters in the Bible, preserves the order of upper- and lower-case letters, sorts the letters into alphabetical order, and "pours" the sorted letters back "into all the structure of books, chapters, verses, paragraphs, and words." Peter Harkins, who created the Well-Sorted Version, is accepting pledges to order the book in a limited, $300 edition, with cleat-sewn, acid/lignen-free paper bound into hot-foil-stamped leather, produced by the Grimm Bindery in Madison, WI, which will go into production if there's sufficient interest. There are also plans for cheaper hardcover/paperback editions and a $20 PDF version.

I once handled and enjoyed a similarly prepared edition of Joyce's Ulysses. It was a surprisingly great read.

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Cryptofloricon: send bouquet-encoded messages

London's Cryptofloricon encode one of several useful messages into floral code and send the resulting bouquet to your sweetheart. (Thanks, Ed!) Cory 6

Great Language Game: can you tell the difference between spoken languages of the world


The Great Language Game asks you to listen to brief samples of conversational speech and then correctly guess which language is being spoken, choosing from an ever-expanding multiple-choice selection. It's surprisingly fun! My first score was 350 (I was stumped on distinguishing Dari from Malayayam, neither of which I know anything about).

Great Language Game (via Kottke)

Cockney ATM


Long have I heard tell of the Cockney Rhyming Slang ATM of Hackney Road, but na'er had I chanced upon it...until today! As soon as I stuck my debit card in the machine in front of the Co-Op Grocers in Hackney Road and was asked to make a language-selection between "English" and "Cockney," I knew I'd found it at last.

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State of the Union Machine: mixes of previous SOTUs

Nicko from the Sunlight Foundation writes, "Tomorrow night, President Barack Obama will give the annual State of the Union address to a joint session of Congress and today the Sunlight Foundation unveiled the State of the Union Machine. It allows you to generate your own random speech modeled on the language from different presidents' previous addresses.

The project uses natural language processing on the corpus of nine previous presidents to generate random text based on the sliders that adjust the weight given to each president. The speeches are a mix of eloquent presidential prose and uncomfortable executive dissonance."

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Lovecraftian rant about the horrors of Blackboard

Anyone who's ever had the misfortune to attend or work at an academic institution that uses the horrible classroom software Blackboard knows that it is a worse-than-useless exercise in technological sadism that is responsible for more pain and suffering than practically any other technology in educational history. But it takes the eloquence of Dave Noon's epic, Lovecraftian rant to truly express the loathing that Blackboard inspires in its users: "After generations of dry-throated croaking and lung-starched wheezing, their tongues swollen with thirst and punctured with abscesses that never heal, these distant people will bring forth a new language to survey the boundaries of their pain."

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Word games with the "make your own Coke label" promo


Robbo sez, "Coke has set up a web site where you can design and share your own branded can of Coke. The idea, of course, was to have people slap their own name on the iconic can image and send it flying around the net to further embellish the Coke brand. But many are making use of the web page to insert a myriad of unintended messages. Everything from 'Boycott Coke' to 'Puck Futin' - that one is because the web app doesn't allow you to use the words 'Fuck' or 'Putin'. But the English language is a remarkably wonderful and versatile thing - and it's only a matter of time before Coke realizes they've opened the door very wide for a lot of very angry people to reach their foot in and kick 'em hard in the nads. Enjoy it, and share it, while you can."


Update: Art writes, "Using the word 'gay" in your Coke label results in the following message: 'Oops. Let's pretend you didn't just type that.' The word 'straight' is, however, perfectly okay to use. Americablog has been quite vocal about Coke's hands-off policy when it comes to gay rights and the Sochi Olympics. For example, when security guards wearing Coke logos on their uniforms took down a protester holding a small rainbow flag. Coke's response was essentially 'meh.'"


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Github seeking volunteers to translate their how-to videos with Amara


Nicholas from Amara writes, "Yesterday afternoon, the social coding platform GitHub invited their fans to collaboratively translate their how-to videos using open-source platform Amara.org. In less than 24 hours, 150 volunteers created 40 translations across 18 different languages. On their blog, Github wrote: 'We think it would be cool if people all over the world could enjoy our videos, regardless of what language they speak. So, starting today, we're inviting anyone who's interested to help us translate our videos via Amara's Volunteer Platform.'"

(Disclosure: I am a volunteer board member for the Participatory Culture Foundation, the nonprofit that produces Amara)

Crowdfunding phraseology: which descriptive words correlate with success?

In “The Language that Gets People to Give: Phrases that Predict Success on Kickstarter" (PDF), a paper for the 17th ACM Conference on Computer Supported Cooperative Work and Social Computing, Georgia Tech researchers from the School of Interactive Technology present the results of their statistical analysis of every single Kickstarter since June 2, 2012. The study attempted to determine which words and phrases correlated with success or failure in a Kickstarter campaign, after controlling for funding goals, video, social media connections, categories and pledge levels.

They came up with a list of successful and unsuccessful phrases, and unpacked those lists, hypothesizing about why the given phrases produced their correlated outcomes. This analysis is much more useful than the phrases themselves -- after all, we don't know that people opted to fund a project because of the phrases "good karma and," "pledged will," and "also receive two," but we do know that all those phrases appeared in Kickstarters that offered some kind of reciprocity.

The paper's authors are Tanushree Mitra and Eric Gilbert.

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Cocktailese


College Humor's Every Cocktail Bar Menu Ever pretty much nails the experience of trying to parse out fancy, overblown booze descriptions -- but for the true experience, the whole thing should be printed in tiny, low-contrast type and presented in a dimly lit room.

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Don Martin's sound effects (alphabetical order)

It's been 14 years since MAD Magazine's Don Martin passed away, and if there's one way you can be sure he'd want to be remembered, it's with this alphabetical listing of all the weird noises that ever appeared in a Don Martin cartoon.

One of the best things about living in the 21st century is that you can own a giant, boxed, two-volume edition of the complete collection of Don Martin's work for MAD -- all 33 years' worth of it. It is my sure-fire cure for the blues.

Exciting linguistic developments of 2013


The American Dialect Society's 2013 Words of the Year (PDF) (voted on earlier this week -- "because" won, because Internet) had some fascinating entries.

I liked "Most Productive" (such as "-(el)fie: (from selfie) type of self-portrait (drelfie ‘drunk selfie,’ twofie ‘selfie with two people’)" and "Most Euphemistic" (" least untruthful: involving the smallest necessary lie (used by intelligence director James Clapper)").

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