Washington, D.C.'s most patriotic sandwich has been vindicated. Sean Dunn, better known as the "Sandwich Guy," was acquitted Thursday after being charged with assault for tossing a Subway sub at… Read the rest of the article: Hero tossing hero of the Republic goes free

Regardless of the talking point nearly every Republican legislator in Congress has been repeating, blaming Democrats for a shutdown engineered by Trump and Republican congressional leadership, the Orange Menace wants… Read the rest of the article: Trump owns his government shutdown

Tinder dating app's new "Chemistry" feature uses artificial intelligence to rifle through your camera roll, supposedly to learn your interests and personality so it can handpick your soulmate. Nothing says… Read the rest of the article: Would you let Tinder's AI scan your entire photo library?

America's construction industry is running out of people to actually build things, thanks to convicted felon Donald Trump's "law and order" obsession with arresting the same workers who keep the… Read the rest of the article: Republicans finally fix labor shortage by scaring off everyone who works

Republicans promised to run the country like a business, and they've run it into the ground. With the government shutdown stretching past a month, Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy says the… Read the rest of the article: MAGA Thanksgiving: no food, no flights, no clue

Did Elon Musk declare South Africa a communist nation on Joe Rogan, or is this a fantasy he just told ol' Puddin' Brains in private? South Africa is a constitutional… Read the rest of the article: Grandpa Puddin' Brains gives another bad history lesson

It appears that robot boxing is not yet ready for prime time, unless it is intended to be a comedy show. Honestly, when one robot is a preening pacifist, and… Read the rest of the article: Rock'em Sock'em Robots fails to work IRL

Elon Musk went on Joe Rogan's podcast to explain, with total confidence and zero evidence, that the government shutdown is happening because blue states are stealing "hundreds of billions" in… Read the rest of the article: Rogan nods along as Musk explains that immigrants destroyed the US

A Tennessee sheriff so deep in the Charlie Kirk kool-aid he's lost the plot, tossed a retired cop in jail for the crime of quoting MAGA cult leader Donald Trump.… Read the rest of the article: Sheriff worships Charlie Kirk so hard he jailed a guy for a meme

Good news for anyone who thought the shooting range was too safe! New testing shows that every pull of the trigger inside an indoor range sends a concussive shock wave… Read the rest of the article: Shooting indoors? Congratulations, you are slowly concussing yourself

Liable for sexual assault and many times accused of sexual assault, MAGA cult leader Donald Trump is threatening to punish his "beloved first home" of New York City if voters… Read the rest of the article: Trump threatens NYC it'll get the "very minimum," like Melania

For a long time, I've wanted to be able to listen to the radio, podcasts, or music as I shower. This cheap and super easy to connect to waterproof speaker… Read the rest of the article: Anker's Soundcore Select 4 Go waterproof speaker is a cheap way to get music in the shower

Scrappy the chicken is Arc Raiders' real hero. This awesome extraction shooter gives each player a pet chicken that delivers needed crafting materials regardless of mission success. Your loyal clucking… Read the rest of the article: Forget the PVP, ARC Raiders gives you a customizable, upgradable chicken

Department of Homeland Security stooge Tricia McLaughlin went on Fox News to explain why Portland needs a federal invasion. Apparently, it was overrun by imaginary hordes of "mass assault" protesters… Read the rest of the article: Trump's Portland "mass assault" exists only on Fox News

California's lighthouses once guided gold rush ships and saved lives. Now they're mostly guiding tourists to gift shops while slowly collapsing into the Pacific. The Coast Guard has moved on… Read the rest of the article: First, we automated the lighthouses, and then we abandoned them

Transportation Secretary and reality TV participant Sean Duffy says he's ready to "shut the whole airspace down" if the remaining unpaid air traffic controllers get too tired to keep the… Read the rest of the article: MTV's Sean Duffy to America: nice airspace, shame if something happened to it

Puppy slayer Kristi Noem swears no American citizens have been detained in Trump's immigration crackdown. This is a bold statement considering ICE's own files read like a Kafka anthology. From… Read the rest of the article: Kristi Noem lies through her teeth about arrests of US citizens

Senator John Fetterman of Pennsylvania told Bill Maher that his stroke made him "free" to say whatever he believes, which apparently means quoting the Joker, mocking Gaza protesters, and embracing… Read the rest of the article: Fetterman credits stroke with freeing him of responsibility to represent his voters

Immigration and Customs Enforcement seems to have streamlined its operations: arrest the parents, forget the child. Witnesses in Aurora, Illinois, say ICE agents detained a couple and then left their… Read the rest of the article: Toddler left in backseat as ICE redefines "collateral damage"

While millions of Americans wait for paychecks that aren't coming, FBI Director Kash Patel apparently decided that a romantic weekend in Pennsylvania was a matter of national security. Patel hitched… Read the rest of the article: Taxpayers sponsor FBI Director's wrestling date