This is Tim. He's the head of security at the National Cowboy Museum in Oklahoma City. While everyone else is social distancing, Tim stands vigilant, protecting things like John Wayne's boots. So as long as he was there, the museum's social media team asked him to tweet for them.

Thanks, Tim.

Hello, my name is Tim and I am the head of security for The Cowboy. I have been asked to take on the additional duty of social media management while the museum is closed. I’m new to this but excited. My team will also continue to protect and monitor the museum. Thanks, Tim Send pic.twitter.com/bPiXD9DoAd

— Nat'l Cowboy Museum (@ncwhm) March 17, 2020

Tim does not understand how hashtags work. But gosh darnnit, he tried it.

This is the hat and eyepatch the Duke wore in the movie True Grit. They are part of our Exhibition about the 2 True Grit. Lots of interesting props and clothes. I’m told I can’t try it on. Hashtag John Wayne. Lucas, my grandson, told me to use hashtags. Thanks, Tim pic.twitter.com/yNO3RP4uA4

— Nat'l Cowboy Museum (@ncwhm) March 17, 2020

Or really how the Internet works.

Twitter tips, please

— Nat'l Cowboy Museum (@ncwhm) March 18, 2020

Sorry, thought I was Googling that. Thanks, Tim

— Nat'l Cowboy Museum (@ncwhm) March 18, 2020

Oh cool there are John Wayne's boots! Thanks, Tim.

And these are his boots. Hashtag John Wayne. Thanks, Tim pic.twitter.com/4hVPPT8QX9

— Nat'l Cowboy Museum (@ncwhm) March 18, 2020

I hope he's done his grandson proud. Read the rest

My colleague Jon Chase has a great new piece up on Wirecutter detailing some of the delightful ways he's found to lean into his Dad Joke-ness and use Alexa to screw with his kids:

I happen to be content with the number of times I’ve heard the song “Baby Shark,” and I feel no need to hear it ever again in this life or the next. So I whipped up a quick Routine in about 30 seconds, and now, should anyone dare to utter the command “Alexa, play ‘Baby Shark,’” Alexa will reply, “Ooh, not in this house, sucker!” and then play Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train.”

You can use that trick for any other tune, podcast, or really any Alexa query that has worn out its welcome.

I suppose my own future child is still a ways away from verbalizing Alexa commands, but this does make me strangely look forward to that moment. Still, it's kind of refreshing to remember the wonderfully stupid potential of something Alexa, without having to stain it all with security concerns. (Shit, I just ruined it, didn't I?)

How I use Alexa to dunk on my kids [Jon Chase / Wirecutter]

Image: PetraGrey / Wikimedia Commons (CC 4.0) Read the rest

At Worldcon yesterday, as recounted by Steph Herman: What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Read the rest

The amazing sex-toy review webcomic Oh Joy Sex Toy (previously) enlivens its weekly toons with sex advice and education; they've just announced that their next collection will be Drawn to Sex, the first in a new series of books "for those looking to learn about sex and wince at our bad dad jokes." There'll be a kickstarter soon! Read the rest

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" Read the rest

Rodney sez, "Wayne Pollock, a Computer Science instructor at Hillsborough Community College (FL), has this on his office wall. He says, 'I had that idea years ago, and my dad made the darn thing one year as a gift.'" Read the rest