CERN manager weighs gnome

Rob Beschizza

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Mike Stoor of the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (CERN) near Geneva, weighs a gnome in the Control Room of the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) on April 5, 2012. A German precision scale maker sends the gnome to different scientific institutions to demonstrate that, due to gravity and the Earth not being a perfect sphere, its weight differs around the world. The gnome reportedly weighed 307.65 g (10.8520 oz), but failed to protest his captivity in the voice of U.K. comic legend Harry Enfield. Photo: REUTERS/Denis Balibouse

Combat Gnome

Rob Beschizza

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"I don't know what it was that finally prompted the gnomes to take up arms. Maybe it was one too many gopher invasions. Perhaps it was the overwhelming gaudiness of neighboring plastic pink flamingos encroaching on their ancestral homeland. Or maybe they just finally got tired of the media portraying them as traveling morons. Either way, they've had enough and they're out for blood." [Shawn Thorsson's Etsy store via @greatdismal]