Would you rather drive a hearse or a Cybertruck? For me, that's a no brainer—of course I'd choose a hearse, in a heartbeat! But, I'd choose literally any mode of transportation—including Lowly Worm's Apple Car—over a Cybertruck, so it's probably not a fair question.
I doubt, dear reader, that you need any convincing that a hearse is far superior to a Cybertruck, but in case you do, this awesome video by Nikki, who also goes by "Dead Inside 1967" on social media, will do the trick. Nikki, who drives a 1967 Cadillac Superior hearse, saw a video by a Cybertruck mom—in which Cybiemom explains why "the Cybertruck is the perfect mom and family car"—and had to make a response video comparing her hearse to ol' Cybie.
In the original video, the Cybertruck mom shows off all of the so-called special selling points of her giant trash can—whoops, I meant Cybertruck—and Nikki provides a (superior) hearse counterpoint to each "feature."
The original video begins by showcasing the amazing "huge back trunk," as Cybiemom slips a folded-up stroller into it. The video then cuts to Nikki sliding a whole entire coffin into her hearse. Winner: hearse.
Cybiemom then demonstrates the Cybertruck "Tonneau" cargo bed cover slowly rolling closed, excitedly explaining how the cover keeps her groceries dry. Nikki then shows us how she simply and quickly closes the rear hatch door of the hearse. Winner: hearse.
Next, Cybiemom proudly reveals how "the doors open to 90 degrees." Um, yeah, so does every other car door, including, of course, the hearse. I guess this is a tie?
Cybiemom then shows us where she puts her purse, saying, "I love this tray down here which is perfect for a diaper bag." Nikki just throws her purse on the floor of the passenger side of the hearse. Winner: hearse, because nobody needs a precious tray like that.
Next up is what Cybiemom calls "a hidden drawer for anything important." What is it? Well, it's a glove compartment. Nothing to see here, as clearly hearses and all other cars have glove compartments. Winner: hearse, because nobody needs to call a glove compartment a "hidden drawer."
Finally, Cybiemom declares that the "best" feature of all is how cool a person looks when driving the Cyertruck. She states: "You look like a total badass driving your kids around in this!" As a counterpoint, Nikki drives by in her hearse, blasting death metal. I mean, come on, there's no contest at all—the hearse is infinitely cooler than the Swasticar will ever be. Sorry, Cybiefans, you lose again!
Watch the awesome video here, and to see more of her hearse, follow Nikki on Instagram.
Previously:
• The Tesla 'Cyberbeast' is exceptionally ugly
• Salty Cybertruck
• A modest proposal to dunk our Cybertrucks in the water
• Cybertruck meets the 'Cybercock test'
• A first-hand account of how bad the Cybertruck is
• YouTuber notices 'one slight issue' with Cybertruck
• If you thought the lime green Cyberbeast was terrible, wait 'til you see this 24 karat gold-plated Cybertruck!
