Raccoons may not be rabid, just drunk

In Milton, West Virginia, concerned citizens called police to report rabid raccoons but it turns out that the animals (the raccoons that is) were more likely just drunk. “We have had calls [of] suspected rabid raccoons twice over the last two days,” the Milton Police Department wrote in a short Facebook post. “Turns out they appear to be drunk on crab apples.” From Newsweek:

It wouldn’t be the first time an animal has made the headlines for public intoxication. In 2015, footage of a squirrel seemingly drunk on fermented crab apples hit YouTube—and attracted millions of views. National Geographic has previously captured footage of drunken monkeys.

National Geographic said in its own 2015 article that research found that animals definitely did get drunk, and listed such examples as butterflies, moths and moose. Don Moore, associate director of the Smithsonian National Zoo in Washington, D.C., told National Geographic that deer that had eaten fermented apples in orchards were known to get “pretty sleepy, even stumbly.”

Those who commented on the Milton Police Department’s post seemed to appreciate the update. One person joked, “Public intoxication, pretty serious. Thanks for putting him back in the woods.” Another Facebook user said, “I have one on my porch right now you can have.”

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Outtakes from an Orson Welles wine commercial after he had drunk too much wine

We Will Sell No Wine Before Its Time! Previously: Orson Welles hates the advertising copy he's been asked to read.

If you enjoyed this video, Publio Delgado's weirdly harmonized guitar backing is an essential accompaniment.

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Refusing to bow to airport liquids ban, woman drinks bottle of cognac

Even in freedom's cradle, China, airport security hates a good time. They don't tell us how large the bottle was, but the story is good.

Via The Nan Fang:

Zhao was transferring to a Wenzhou flight at Beijing Airport at noon on August 21 when she was stopped at airport security. A worker told the woman in her forties that she was not able to bring the imported cognac through the security checkpoint in her carry-on. As it was too late to transfer the cognac to her checked-in luggage, Zhao did what any responsible person that hates wasting food would do: she sat down in a corner and drank the entire bottle of cognac herself.

That created a new security problem though, and it had to do with the bottle of cognac that was now inside her.

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10 videos of drunk people trying to eat sandwiches

Life can be difficult when you are drunk. And sandwiches are life.

Naked drunk guy found in barn cavorting with hogs. Again. “I just like pigs,” he tells cops.

Police noticed an odor and alcohol, and Henry admitted to drinking a six-pack of Hamm's beer.

Visual artist creates intricate, 1000-Layer collage of drunken party

Visually updating Hieronymus Bosch with delicious recherche cutouts, the Croatian visual artist and illustrator Sanda Anderlon constructed an incredibly detailed 40" image (only a small detail of which is shown here). Another recent piece depicts a beach scene (detail below):

 

View the entire debauched panoramas on her site, or pick up Anderlon's prints on Etsy.

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Drunken sex causes car wreck

Luis Briones, 25, blew through a red light in Albuquerque and crashed, resulting in his female passenger being ejected from the car. Briones was allegedly drunk. Oh, apparently he was also having sex with the woman at the time of the crash. She was naked. From KRQE:

According to the criminal complaint, Briones tried to drive away, leaving the woman behind.

A witness was able to grab his keys.

Police found Briones with one shoe and his shorts on inside out.

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When you drink, you are what you think

"To put it very simply, the experiments show that when people think they are drinking alcohol, they behave according to their cultural beliefs about the behavioural effects of alcohol." — Anthropologist Kate Fox, writing for the BBC. (Via Ed Yong) Read the rest