A crypto primer in the form of Ikea instructions

"Idea-instructions" bills itself as "An ongoing series of nonverbal algorithm assembly instructions", with a half-dozen illustrations of popular computer science concepts covered to date; the latest covers Public-Key Crypto, one of the most important and elusive concepts from modern crypto. Read the rest

Explore an infinite, procedurally-generated Ikea

Ikea is a Swedish furniture retailer famous for its vast and disorienting store layouts. SCP is fictional universe depicted exclusively as reports filed with a secret government agency whose job is to secure and contain supernatural objects, entities and places — think Torchwood meets the OSHA Hazardous Materials Specifications Committee and you're all set. One of my favorite SCP stories is SCP-3008, concerning the discovery of a nascent civilization formed by shoppers lost in an infinite Ikea.

And now it is a game!

SCP-3008

A game set in the SCP universe based on SCP-3008 - an endless Ikea.

The good thing is: Food stores get restocked every now and then. You won't starve.

The bad thing is that the staff tries to kill you as soon as the lights go out.

Barricade yourself with furniture, battle the staff and survive as many days as you can.

You can already download a basic prototype. Lights out!

Keep an eye on developer N00MKRAD's YouTube Channel and Patreon page for updates. Read the rest

Swedish-to-English IKEA product name dictionary

My Swedish-born (former Rubik's Cube champion) pal Lars Petrus has created a Swedish-to-English IKEA product name dictionary.

He writes:

Part of what makes IKEA unique is their product names. Each name means something, often in a funny or ambigious way. When IKEA went international, they decided to use the same Swedish names everywhere. This makes sense from an organizational sanity standpoint, but it deprives most of the world of this particular joy.

It's not complete nor current but it still is a lot of fun!

(Lifehacker)

Previously: IKEA now has furniture for cats and dogs Read the rest

IKEA now has furniture for cats and dogs

IKEA's new Lurvig collection literally translates to "shaggy," which is appropriate because it's made just for pets.

The line includes scratching mats (that wrap around IKEA table legs), aesthetically-pleasing beds, and a variety of bowls, leashes, toys, and other pet care accoutrements. IKEA writes that it was created by "pet loving designers with support from trained veterinarians."

According to Mashable, the collection piloted in Japan, France, Canada, U.S and Portugal (Algarve) just this month. It will open up to the rest of the world in March 2018.

Some pooches in Japan are already enjoying pieces from the collection:

、 、 お姉ちゃんはチェックだけ。 やっぱり乗ってくれませんでした。 そしてミドリのペラッとしたトコ、干したりぶら下げる様にあるのかな? でも噛んじゃうので無い方が嬉しいよ、イケアさん。 、 #IKEAペット #LURVIG #欲しいベッドは12月発売でした汗 、 #frenchbulldog #frenchie #フレンチブルドッグ #フレブル #miniturebullterrier #buhigram #BUHI #buhistagram #dogstagram_japan #bullterrier #bully #ミニチュアブルテリア #ブルテリア #犬 #dog #おもち #おこめ

A post shared by 🐖🐐もちこめ母🐖🐐 (@mochikome_mama) on Oct 10, 2017 at 7:18am PDT

なんと!自分から寝てくれました( ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )◞♡⃛昨日今日とお疲れでスヤスヤ寝息が聞こえます❤️ でもマミーが寝る準備してるって気づくと慌ててついてくる、と言うかマミーを追い抜いて行くと思いますが (*˃̴̥̥́ ㅂ˂̴̑*) #愛おしい我が子 #イケアペット #IKEAペット #ルールヴィグ #lurvig

A post shared by lylymama (@lylymetal) on Oct 9, 2017 at 5:26am PDT

NEWアイテム✨ #IKEAペット用品 #LURVIG #お気に召していただけたかしら #チカチカする #dog #corgi #コーギー #ナタネ

A post shared by 703アジュンマ (@703neeeeya) on Oct 9, 2017 at 6:49pm PDT

All items are affordable, ranging from 79 cents and up. One of the most expensive items is a cubed cat house that's reminiscent of an old-fashioned TV set. It costs $54.98.

The entire catalog is here. Read the rest

Gamers petition IKEA to produce an affordable gaming table

A petition has been posted on Change.org by a Maryland gamer, Brad Smoley, to try and convince Scandinavian stick furniture powerhouse IKEA that there's a significant-enough market for a dining room table that converts into a gaming table.

Read the rest

Make: a small-apartment-sized storage table from Ikea magazine boxes

Jules Yap takes to Ikeahackers to describe how you can use four Knuff magazine boxes to form a storage-top for a small-apartment-sized coffee table, using an Ikea stool for your base. Read the rest

Brilliant short story about being trapped in an infinite IKEA

The SCP Foundation features unsettling horror and SF stories, all posed as the technical reports of a secret international consortium whose job is to secure, contain and protect the public from all manner of weird threats, from unnatural beasties to sentient buildings. Written in the dry language of officialdom, they're the perfect short fiction for the internet-era and often extremely clever. I think this one about being trapped in an infinite IKEA, by Mortos, is my favorite yet.

Description: SCP-3008 is a large retail unit previously owned by and branded as IKEA, a popular furniture retail chain. A person entering SCP-3008 through the main entrance and then passing out of sight of the doors will find themselves translocated to SCP-3008-1. This displacement will typically go unnoticed as no change will occur from the perspective of the victim; they will generally not become aware until they try and return to the entrance.

SCP-3008-1 is a space resembling the inside of an IKEA furniture store, extending far beyond the limits of what could physically be contained within the dimensions of the retail unit. Current measurements indicate an area of at least 10km2 with no visible external terminators detected in any direction. Inconclusive results from the use of laser rangefinders has lead to the speculation that the space may be infinite.

SCP-3008-1 is inhabited by an unknown number of civilians trapped within prior to containment. Gathered data suggests they have formed a rudimentary civilisation within SCP-3008-1, including the construction of settlements and fortifications for the purpose of defending against SCP-3008-2.

Read the rest

Mocking the $2,145 "couture Ikea bag" with awesome Ikea bag hacks

Balenciaga sells a $2,145 leather bag that looks exactly like a cheap, big, blue plastic Ikea Frakta bag. Read the rest

Ikea vs Superfans: how paranoid trademark lawyers make everything suck

In 2014, IKEA, the Swedish-based global furniture company, sent a cease-and-desist letter to a blogger by the name of Jules Yap. Yap ran the extremely popular website IKEAhackers.net, which helped people “hack” IKEA furniture into new, creative, and unexpected designs. The site was already almost a decade old when IKEA’s lawyers demanded that Yap hand over the URL. What follows is a case study from Superfandom: How Our Obsessions are Changing What We Buy and Who We Are.

Weaponizing IKEA pencils made fun

In weaponry, as in life, sometimes the best things are free. Take the lowly IKEA pencil. No, literally take one or more of the ubiquitous free writing utensils. Then watch this video on how to weaponize them. Read the rest

Ikea Börder Wåll

Der Postillon reports that Ikea now offers an affordable flatpack solution for any wannabe autocrats looking to shave a few dollars off their $25bn whitey elephants.

The simple, Scandinavian designed border wall (with a 5 year guarantee) is primarily made of pressboard with a birch effect and can be assembled with the help of a hex key. A 12,000 page instruction manual with easy-to-understand pictures makes construction child’s play – as long as there is not a single screw missing.

“However, assembly requires two people: one person can hold the wall while the second screws it together”, it states in IKEA’s offer.

The problem is, of course, that it looks great when you put it together the first time, but one move and it turns into a a pile of rickety MDF. Previously. Read the rest

Ikea to teenagers: stop hiding in closets until closing and then having illegal "sleepovers" in our stores

After a pair of Belgian teenagers made a viral sensation with a Youtube video documenting their unauthorized sleepover in an Ikea store, at least 10 other sets of teens have tried to repeat the stunt: now, Ikea is putting the world's teens on notice that they will press charges if they catch you trying it. Read the rest

Ikea Shanghai to elderly, lonely Chinese people: buy something or get out

Turns out that when your giant, tax-dodging global furniture enterprise pitches itself as a kind of flat-pack-on-tap public utility, it gets treated like one. Read the rest

100+ best design innovations from 1996 to 2016

Wallpaper took on the daunting task of narrowing down 20 years of design innovations to just over 100 eclectic choices, including the Tesla Roadster, the 9/11 memorial, Instagram, the bushy brow, and Ilse Crawford's IKEA collection, above. Read the rest

Couple drops acid and attempts to assemble Ikea furniture

And you thought that second glass of wine before assembling your Scandinavian stick furniture might have been ill advised. In "Giancarlo and Nicole + LSD," a young couple drops tabs of acid, and 45 minutes later, attempts to assemble the rather complicated NORDLI cabinet from Ikea. Hilarity ensues.

This video, currently blazing its way through social media, is the brainchild of two creatives, Hunter Fine and Alex Taylor. It is the first in a series of videos they've dubbed Hikea.

In a second video posted to their site, test subject Keith chows down on a bag of 'shrooms and then gets to work on the MICKE desk. After over 5 1/2 hours, a pile of "extra" parts, and 12 skipped steps, he has something he can at least sit at. He didn't do much worse than when I try and build these pieces straight.

Taylor and Fine have plans for additional Hikea episodes. Catch them while you can, before Ikea's IP police sober them up. Read the rest

Spain's Podemos Party publishes its manifesto in Ikea Catalog form

Spain's anti-austerity, left-wing Podemos ("We Can") Party (previously), which grew out of Spain's Occupy-like Indignados movement, has just published its election manifesto for the June 26 election -- in the form of an Ikea Catalog. Read the rest

Swedish traditional costume made from Ikea bags

After seeing a picture of the Swedish royals in "folk costumes," she used four blue Ikea bags, one yellow one, and a Ikea Dvala bedsheet to replicate the costume -- she did a brilliant job. Read the rest

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