"Do you want to fuck snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman…"
Apparently—if you're 20-year-old Cody Meadar of St. Petersburg, Florida—it could also be a stuffed toy unicorn.
From the Tampa Bay Times:
A St. Petersburg man was arrested Tuesday after police said he “dry humped" multiple stuffed animals at the Park Place Target, including Olaf, the snowman from the wildly successful Disney film Frozen.
The other victim was a large stuffed unicorn.
Police said Cody Meader, 20, of St. Petersburg, entered the store around 2 p.m. Tuesday. He walked up to a display of merchandise from Frozen, picked a large Olaf stuffed animal, placed it on the floor and proceeded to rub himself against it until he ejaculated.
Then he put it back on the display.
The fact that he put it back on display might be the most egregious detail here. At least show that stuffed animal a modicum of respect by bringing home after you non-consensually violate it.
There could have been a totally-tasteless joke in here about cooling down in the warm climate of Florida. Unfortunately, it was a whopping 53 degrees Fahrenheit in St. Petersburg on the day in question. So while there's generally no excusing for ejaculating on a stuffed snowman in the middle of big box store, this guy definitely has no excuse—except for the fact that he lives in Florida.
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Ladies and germs, allow me introduce you to the world's first mechanical unicorn!
Jumpverhuur, a Dutch inflatable party rental company, introduced this "rodeo unicorn" to their roster last summer. It's available to rent for ~575 euros/day (in the Netherlands only, it appears). That will get you three hours of riding bareback on the rainbow-horned creature, along with a professional "escort" (no, not that kind) to make sure all the riders are safe.
Thanks, Bunny! Read the rest
This nifty crying unicorn candle comes with three colorful wax rainbow horns. Light the horn, and tears of joy start to flow from the unicorn's eyes: Read the rest
Since 2015, our family has been in love with Dana Simpson's Phoebe and Her Unicorn books, a kind of modern take on Calvin and Hobbes, only Calvin is an awesome little girl
, Hobbes is a unicorn, and the parental figures can see and interact with the unicorn, but are not freaked out because she generates a SHIELD OF BORINGNESS. Now, the insanely prolific Simpson has released the fourth
collection in the series: Razzle Dazzle Unicorn: Another Phoebe and Her Unicorn Adventure
Developers get a closer look at the emoji riches of iOS 9.1.
At Popperfont, the great David Ng discusses the biological and/or evolutionary steps necessary to produce a theoretical real-life unicorn. I find it delightfully ironic that his first possible route involves something that, if I were to show you pictures of it*, you would probably request a unicorn chaser.
Basically, some kinds of tumors can produce little horn-like protrusions from the surface of the skin. (Sometimes these tumors are malignant, sometimes not.) If the tumor formed right in the middle of a horse's forehead ... et voila! You've got a unicorn.
This is not as unlikely as it sounds, by the way. The Mutter Museum has a wax model of the head of a French woman, Madame Dimanche, who had one of these tumor horns removed from the middle of her forehead when she was 82 years old. This happened sometime around the beginning of the 19th century. At the time of removal, the horn was 9.8 inches long.
And, yes, this would be roughly the same way that you get a jackalope.
Read David Ng's full discussion of several possible ways to produce a real-life unicorn
*Needless to say, all links shall be followed at the viewer's own risk. I am not responsible for lost appetites.
Image: Unicorn, a Creative Commons Attribution (2.0) image from robboudon's photostream
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