Do you have a 'long stabby thing' next to the bed just in case someone breaks in?

This vintage (2011) clip shows Australian TV host Karl Stefanovic describing his home defense strategy: keeping a "long stabby thing" by the side of the bed. Cohost Lisa Wilkinson reports having a "swordy thing." Correspondent Georgie Gardner also has a long stabby thing, the one you suspected. Nevertheless, there has been some discussion of what Karl's long stabby thing might be; my money is on a four-foot poker, useful for fending off not only burglars but also logical positivists. Read the rest

Surviving Edged Weapons, fabulous police training video from the VHS 'n' Crack era

"Of course, you're aware of the balisong," intones the deep-voiced narrator, "... or butterfly knife."

Awesome, terrifying, paranoid and goofy, Surviving Edged Weapons is a relic of another era, an age of fishhook earrings and razor blade-impregnated ballcaps, where reality itself stars Charles Bronson. Which, of course, it did. Read the rest

Which U.S. president would win in a massive knife fight?

This is from way back in 2012, but Geoff Micks determined which U.S. president would win in a massive knife fight and it is essential reading.

The scenario had a few rules—the combatants are in the best health of their presidencies, they're in the Colosseum, each are issued with a standard Gerber Combat Knife, FDR is permitted a motorized wheelchair—but they are otherwise left to their stabby devices.

Each president's chances are individually discussed. [via JWZ] Read the rest