One's a crazy guy in a bow tie. The other's Tucker Carlson. Read the rest
Funny video of conservative pundits awkwardly criticizing the metric system
$999 monitor stand explained
This alarmingly funny video shows an "Apple Engineer" explaining the company's forthcoming $999 monitor stand. This guy is better than the "Downfall" meme!
Also funny: to see people who had complained vocally about Apple's lack of truly "pro" gear denouncing it when it finally came along, because it was too pro. Perhaps Apple should have made a promotional video shamelessly explaining the stand and its veblen-tech price. People would have hated it, all the same, but at least it would have been clear who the customer was.
If by "pro" we didn't mean that kind of "corporate buyer" level, what does it mean? That fuzzy-edged class of designers, developers and "creatives" often identified as Apple fans?
Here's one way of looking at it: if you're all in for Apple and were waiting to spend $2500 on a modular computer to edit photos or book designs or write beautifully-typeset articles or the simple code that generates them—people like me!—Apple's answer to that is no. We can get a non-modular iMac, or we can get a Mac Mini with an eGPU and external monitor for the specialized work that requires those things.
If someone sold an eGPU that actually matches the Mac Mini (they're all either huge ugly PCI-slotted toasters or plasticy MXM-slotted bricks) I bet they'd clean up.
Hell, I'd be all in for a pro version with XLR connectors, phantom power—and maybe a SCSI port or two. Read the rest
Flamin' Hot Cheetos, the fashion brand
The snack food you wear all over yourself if you try to eat it is now a clothing line. Read the rest
This dog has to get his jump *just* right before leaping up on that couch
'Hold on. Gotta warm up first.' Read the rest
Hilarious cockpit transcript of the Navy pilots who drew a giant penis in the sky over Washington
On November 16, 2017, the crew of a Navy EA-18G Growler jet delighted sixth graders, launched a meme, and pissed off prudes everywhere by drawing a penis in the sky with their engine exhaust over the state of Washington. Their prank caused quite a stir in the Navy, even leading to an "official information dispatch" to the Office of the Chief of Naval Operations. It's still unknown how much trouble the pilots got themselves into but the Navy Times has just received a copy of the full report thanks to a Freedom of Information Act request. The cockpit transcripts are fantastic. From the Navy Times:
Read the rest“You should totally try to draw a penis,” the (pilot's cockpit partner, an electronic warfare office [EWO]) advised.
“I could definitely draw one, that would be easy,” the pilot boasted. “I could basically draw a figure eight and turn around and come back. I’m gonna go down, grab some speed and hopefully get out of the contrail layer so they’re not connected to each other....”
“Balls are going to be a little lopsided,” the pilot advised.
“Balls are complete,” he reported moments later. “I just gotta navigate a little bit over here for the shaft.”
“Which way is the shaft going?” the EWO asked.
“The shaft will go to the left,” the pilot answered.
“It’s gonna be a wide shaft,” the EWO noted.
“I don’t wanna make it just like 3 balls,” the pilot said.
“Let’s do it,” the EWO said. “Oh, the head of that penis is going to be thick.”
Cable management with Bob Marley
Perfect for those who dread coiling their patch cables.
BIGTIME TOMMIE, an Instagram of pure greatness
I want to thank @mikejonesfl for bringing BIGTIME TOMMIE into my life. He's right, this is the best Instagram. Read the rest
Joy Division's Ian Curtis rides a rollercoaster
Ian Curtis experiences the, er, known pleasures of a thrill ride with much more restraint than Billy Corgan.
Watch astronauts on the moon sped up for laffs
Cue "Yakety Sax."
Watch: a lesson in classic narrative structure starring a risktaker, inner tube, hill, and car
Classic three-act narrative structure pic.twitter.com/AP4WgdxlN8
— Jack Seale (@jackseale) May 1, 2019
Ah, resolution.
(via Daily Grail) Read the rest
Which website did Chewbacca get arrested for creating?
Q: Which website did Chewbacca get arrested for creating? Read the rest
Police bust big dummy in the HOV lane
Mesa, Arizona police busted a man for driving in the HOV lane with a dummy as his passenger.
"Another one Busted! Don't let this be you.... A driver was cited for HOV lane violation along the SR 202 at Alma School, for having a dummy masquerade as a passenger," tweeted the Department of Public Safety.
You'd think people would realize that the fuzz are onto this by now. At least he invested in a real mannequin unlike the below, from a classic gallery of "15 Hilariously Awful Dummies Used by Busted Carpool Lane Cheaters as Fake Passengers":
Watch this totally inappropriate and bizarre Bert and Ernie parody in German
From the Muppet Wiki:
Bernie und Ert was a recurring sketch on the show created by Attik Kargar, who performed the puppets and supplied the voice of Bernie. Bernie and Ert are an obscene parody of Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street, and especially as re-dubbed on Sesamstrasse. The pair are a same-sex couple, with no nose and one eye each. Each sketch focused on such topics as crime, drug abuse (Bernie is a cocaine addict), and S&M practices. In February 2003, Bernie and Ert were dropped from the series because of legal concerns; however, older episodes circulate on the Internet. The characters lived on and appeared in another recurring sketch called Popo Club in where they wear S&M gear and go by the names Unknown No. 1 and Unknown No. 2. These versions of the characters later appeared in the German adult puppet series Eye TV – Der durchgeknallte Puppensender and two spin-off web series.
(via r/ObscureMedia)
German model brilliantly pranks lewd and sexist Instagram commenters
German actress-model Palina Rojinski responded to the lewd and rude commenters on her Instagram by delivering a perfect prank. With help from German TV show Late Night Berlin, Rojinski turned the sexist creeps into the, er, butt of a joke. The image above that she posted brought out the usual male buffoonery but, as you can see below, all was not quite what it seemed.
View this post on Instagram
(via PetaPixel) Read the rest
Horse enjoys playing synthesizer with his mouth
“Sing us a soooonng, you’re the pianohorse”
When you're trying to stab that last cherry tomato in your salad
You're gonna want to unmute this. Read the rest
Soap for grammar police
The Whiskey River Soap Company's funny soap varieties mostly fall flat for me, but there's one exception: the Grammar Police edition. (Thanks, Fipi Lele!) Read the rest
