Michael "Rands" Lopp spotted something beautiful about this White House photo: everyone in it who doesn't have the word "president" in their job title has been fired.

Only the best people.

Here's the season 1 winner of the blunder games, as shot by Jonathan Ernst with Reuters. Read the rest

To celebrate the abusive lying bastard's sacking by Fox News, let's once again enjoy this classic dance remix of his legendary meltdown from the "brown acrylic wig" era of his career.

The original:

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DBO writes, "A new report by Deflect Labs tracks the complex ways that hackers have sought to take down the Black Lives Matter website. The attacks, which relied on harvesting WordPress sites, increased in sophistication and left a murky, unsavory trail by actors who did everything from try to extort the website to taking it down entirely." Read the rest

For the last six weeks, residents of El Segundo, California have been startled from sleep in the early hours of the morning by the ear-splitting blast of an air horn. On Sunday morning at 4 am, police officers caught the gentleman who was blowing the horn. His name is John W. Nuggent and he admitted doing it because he wanted to annoy a specific person.

From The El Segundo Police Department Facebook page:

On November 13, 2016 at around 4:00 AM, El Segundo Officers heard an extremely loud air-horn being actuated (similar to a train horn) on the west side of town. There have been numerous reports of similar occurrences over the past several weeks involving a blue 4-door compact vehicle driven by a male white adult (see attached picture captured from a residential surveillance video).

Shortly after hearing the loud horn, El Segundo Officers initiated a traffic-stop in the area of Grand Avenue and Main Street on a 4-door blue 2006 Chevrolet Aveo. The vehicle was driven by John W. Nuggent and officers found air-horn equipment inside his vehicle.

Several El Segundo residents, who were alleged victims of the air horn noise, responded to the scene and initiated a citizen’s arrest on Nuggent. He was subsequently transported to El Segundo jail for booking and his vehicle was impounded.

CBS News's Betty Yu reports that San Jose's Westfield Valley Fair mall is being sued after one of its guards, Francis Lancaster-Abraham Fielding, pulled a gun on a driver who knocked over a traffic cone. Read the rest

Penn State is to celebrate the 50th anniversary of hiring Joe Paterno, the coach who helped his school rack up countless victories and his assistant cover up countless rapes.

The plans for exactly what Penn State will do is unknown, other than stating that the program will be "commemorating the 50th anniversary of Coach Paterno's first game as Penn State head coach" before the game. ... The Nittany Lions, until this point, seemed to want to distance themselves publicly from Paterno since his last game in 2011, most notably taking down his statue outside Beaver Stadium. Now, the program is looking to honor the former coach, who died in 2012, for the 50th anniversary of his first game with Penn State in what is a controversial choice.

Paterno was fired in 2011 after it emerged that during his tenure, Jerry Sandusky had assaulted dozens of youngsters in his care. Sandusky was ultimately convicted on 45 separate charges. Though Paterno claimed to have been ignorant of his actions—pretending at one point not even to know what "sodomy" means—it later emerged he knew of Sandusky's activities since the 1970s. At least two victims accused Paterno, who died in 2012, of telling them not to go to the authorities. Read the rest

Paul LePage, the Republican governor of Maine, told reporters that people of color are the enemy in his state. Read the rest

Stephen Bannon, the Breitbart News boss recently hired to lead millionaire businessman Donald Trump's faltering presidential campaign, was charged in 1996 with domestic violence, battery and dissuading a witness after allegedly beating his then-wife. The charges were dropped, reports Politico, after his alleged victim failed to appear in court.

The Santa Monica, Calif., police report says that Bannon’s then-wife claimed he pulled at her neck and wrist during an altercation over their finances, and an officer reported witnessing red marks on her neck and wrist to bolster her account. Bannon also reportedly smashed the phone when she tried to call the police. While the case ended when Bannon's ex-wife did not appear in court, the incident presents a new problem for the Trump campaign following the hiring of the controversial Bannon. He went on leave from Breitbart News, where he is chairman, to take over the Trump campaign.

The police report describes a distressing scene: responding to a silent 911 call (the phone was found smashed), a cop encounters a crying woman with red marks on her neck and arms.

According to the report, she said, “Oh, thank you, you are here. How did you know to come?” and took several minutes to compose herself.

Bannon, according to the report, was less than seven months into his second marriage, though the couple had known each other for a number of years prior to their April 1995 wedding. The couple just had twin girls seven months earlier, Bannon’s ex-wife told police at the time.

It's hard to say why The world's biggest asshole is worth watching without spoilering it, but Coleman Sweeney is at least an entertaining asshole—until he isn't. Read the rest

How to have fun by turning friends into foes. Bonus points for the cameraman's Muttley laugh. Read the rest

A man who decided to shoot a bunch of puppies was himself shot by one of his intended victims. NBC News reports that Jerry Allen Bradford, 37, of Pensacola, Florida, sustained a gunshot to the wrist when "one of the dogs put its paw on the revolver’s trigger."

On Monday, Bradford was holding two puppies — one in his arms and another in his left hand — when the dog in his hand wiggled and put its paw on the trigger of the .38-caliber revolver. The gun then discharged, the sheriff’s report said. Deputies found three of the puppies in a shallow grave outside Bradford’s home, said sheriff’s Sgt. Ted Roy.

The other four appeared to be in good health and were taken by Escambia County Animal Control, which planned to make them available for adoption.

Here's how you actually get fired sharpish if you're a bad cop: you go up to your ex-wife's new husband, put your service gun in his face, then tell him you're going to kill him.

“Although [victim] Knupp was scared for his life, (Knupp) said, ‘You don't scare me, Ed,' ” according to the affidavit.

The detectives said [Cpl. Edward J.] Huwalt resumed calling Knupp “pedophile,” “pervert” and other derogatory names. The detectives allege Huwalt told Knupp to pull over, but Knupp responded that he was leaving and drove away. Knupp reported the threat to borough officials the next morning, and Berger called the detective bureau to investigate.

Brown and Kranitz said they determined that Huwalt's service handgun, a Sig Sauer .357 caliber Magnum, has a blue finish “and matches the description given by Charles Knupp

Ligonier Borough Council unanimously voted to sack Huwalt, 61. Huwalt's also been charged with making threats, reckless endangerment and harassment. Read the rest

Drug entrepreneur Martin Shkreli, 32, made himself infamous by hiking the price of life-saving generic pill from from $13.50 to $750. If you suspected that such a sterling human being might have fingers in other pies, you're not alone, as he's now been arrested on securities fraud charges.

Bloomberg's Christie Smythe and Keri Geiger write that the past is catching up with him.

The federal case against him has nothing to do with pharmaceutical costs, however. Prosecutors in Brooklyn charged him with illegally taking stock from Retrophin Inc., a biotechnology firm he started in 2011, and using it to pay off debts from unrelated business dealings. He was later ousted from the company, where he’d been chief executive officer, and sued by its board.

In the case that closely tracks that suit, federal prosecutors accused Shkreli of engaging in a complicated shell game after his defunct hedge fund, MSMB Capital Management, lost millions. He is alleged to have made secret payoffs and set up sham consulting arrangements. A New York lawyer, Evan Greebel, was also arrested early Thursday. He's accused of conspiring with Shkreli in part of the scheme.

The BBC describes him as The most hated man in America, but that doesn't get to the heart of it. There's a perfect compatibility between a new breed of completely unguarded narcissist and the ever-shallower way news is presented. The sweet spot might not last long, but while it does last, expect more Shreklis. Read the rest

Jerry Bance, a member of the Conservative Party of Canada, was running for office in Toronto. He is also the owner of XPress Appliance Service, a home repair company. In 2012 was caught on a hidden video urinating in a customer's coffee cup while on a service call. When the video recently came to light, Bance issued the following statement by way of apology: Read the rest

A Starbucks barista named Brad describes a guy who bought 365 Starbucks gift cards and registered each of them with a different birthday so he can get a free drink every day. That's already a dick move, but the guy makes it worse by being a real jerk to the barista. When he comes in to the store he asks for a Venti cup and a marker and writes instructions on the cup before handing it back:

He draws lines and arrows and writes all over the cup while telling me: “Two pumps of white mocha here, then add five pumps of vanilla. That should take us to this line here where you’re gonna add cold heavy cream up to this ridge here...it should be halfway between this line and this line. Make sure to add the heavy whipping cream before the espresso, it changes the taste if you do it out of order. Then add your four shots, three regular and one long shot. That long shot is important, since you guys reformulated your machines, it’s been Hell trying to get my drink right. That long shot helps balance it. Then stir it for me, Mister Brad. Now do me a favor and add ice to the top there and it’ll be easy as pie. I’m not picky so don’t worry about shaking it or anything like that.”

A drink like this is normally $6.50, which would make it ineligible for the free birthday coffee, so he instructs the barista to ring it up as a "one quad espresso, add white mocha, sub vanilla, sub heavy cream."

Read other "Stories of Horrible Restaurant Customers" at Kitchenette. Read the rest

A German tourist shot this video of a tour bus guide's racist rant against Chinatown. The tour guide is holding what appears to be an alcoholic beverage bottle. Unfortunately, the tourists applaud her, which gives her the encouragement to go on. Read the rest