Gentleman arrested for smuggling cocaine inside fake penis

Belgian police arrested a gentleman flying in from Jamaica for allegedly smuggling 127 grams of cocaine inside an artificial penis. That's quite a cock-up. The incident occurred in February and prosecutors have just asked for a three year sentence. The fellow's attorney argued that his client "has kidney failure and needs to exercise as well as follow a proper diet" so he is not fit for jail time. From the New Zealand Herald:

The arrested man told investigators that he was visiting his mother in Jamaica when an acquaintance offered him cocaine.

He said he took the drug for personal use only, planning to take it when he returned home.

(Image: 3D png Judges Gavel, Chris Potter, CC-BY) Read the rest

Porn star who makes penis candles arrested for murder after psychedelic toad venom ritual

Spanish police arrested Nacho Vidal — a porn star with a side hustle making penis candles — for suspected manslaughter following a "mystic ritual" in which participants smoked the psychedelic venom of the Colorado River Toad. According to Vidal's attorney Daniel Salvador, the fellow who died, photographer Jose Luis Abad, had "previously tried that substance and wanted to try it again" in a "comfortable" setting. Vidal "considers himself to be innocent" and insists the death was accidental. From the BBC News:

The actor, who has featured in hundreds of pornographic movies, had been under investigation for 11 months over the death of the photographer, Spanish police said.

Mr Vidal and the two other suspects were arrested on suspicion of manslaughter and violating public health laws. All three were released provisionally.

Investigators said they had discovered toad rituals were being carried out regularly on grounds they offered medicinal benefits.

But the "apparently harmless ancestral ritual" posed a "serious health risk", attracting people who were "easily influenced, vulnerable or who were seeking help for illnesses or addictions using alternative methods", a police statement said.

(Thanks, Gil Kaufman!)

image: "Colorado River Toad" by I, Wildfeuer (CC BY-SA 3.0) Read the rest

Incel terror killing at erotic spa

A 17-year-old boy who killed a woman at an "erotic" spa in Toronto was motivated by "incel ideology", say police. Charges against the teen, anonymous due to his age, were upgraded to terroristic murder as a result.

He was already facing first-degree and attempted murder charges, but the development means police believe the incident was terrorism-related. In a joint statement, the RCMP and Toronto Police Service said their investigation had determined the attack “was inspired by the Ideologically Motivated Violent Extremist (IMVE) movement commonly known as INCEL.”

“As a result, federal and provincial Attorney Generals have consented to commence terrorism proceedings, alleging that the murder was terrorist activity … and the attempted murder was terrorist activity.”

Often lost in discussion of incels is the fact that the "involuntary" part is rarely truthful. Incels have idealized expectations of dating and sexual partners rooted in their catastrophically bizarre ideology, and their raging narcissistic egos cannot accept anything less. Sex, to them, is exclusively a measurement of the self. Read the rest

Melonhead men rob convenience store

Two men wearing watermelons over their heads robbed a Sheetz convenience store in Louisa, Virginia. After asking for community help, police posted they arrested at least one of the melonheads. From the Louisa Police Department Facebook:

On May 6, 2020, at 2135 hours, two subjects arrived at the Sheetz in a LIFTED 2006 Black Toyota Tacoma wearing hollowed-out watermelon rinds with holes cut out for the eyes into the store where they proceeded to commit a larceny.

Read the rest

Watch thieves attempt, and badly fail, to steal an ATM by loading it on a flatbed truck

These criminal hijinks reportedly occurred last week in Asiago, a town in the Province of Vicenza, Italy.

"Pay attention, they can shoot at you, Maria."

"They won't shoot."

"Mom, I'm doing a video!" Read the rest

Owner of Fatte's Pizza allegedly robbed a different Fatte's Pizza at gunpoint

On Sunday, police in Paso Robles, California were called to Fatte's Pizza after an armed robber made off with cash from the register. Later that evening, the cops apprehended the suspect, one Darryl Allan, 38, who apparently owns a Fatte's Pizza just 15 minutes away in Atascadero. He had stopped at In-N-Out for a bite.

"Upon their search of the vehicle police found a gun, large amounts of cash, along with drug paraphernalia," reports KSBY News.

Read the rest

How to find a stolen Van Gogh

As I posted last week, thieves smashed a glass door at the Singer Laren museum near Amsterdam and stole Vincent van Gogh's oil painting “The Parsonage Garden at Nuenen in Spring 1884." The museum has been closed due to COVID-19.

“I am shocked and unbelievably pissed off,” said Singer Laren’s director, Jan Rudolph de Lorn. “Art is there to be seen and shared by all, for society as a whole, to bring enjoyment, to bring inspiration, and also to bring comfort. Especially in this difficult time.”

Esquire's Daniel Dumas interviewed Art Recovery International CEO Christopher Marinello and Jordan Arnold, art risk advisor of security firm K2 Intelligence, about who might buy such a thing and the chances of finding it. From Esquire:

If smugglers do manage to sneak the painting out of the Netherlands, it could literally end up anywhere on the planet. But there are a few areas in the world that, according to Marinello, “are friendlier to acquiring stolen objects.” Switzerland, France, Belgium, and Quebec all have laws that favor those in possession of property even if the path of ownership is murky.

Some wealthy collectors exist in China and the Middle East who are ethically challenged when it comes to getting a good deal,” Marinello says. Then there’s Russia where many oligarchs have adopted a “come and take it” attitude if accused of possessing stolen property. “I have a number of cases pending with high value works looted by the Nazis being held in Russia,” Marinello says.

Read the rest

Van Gogh swiped last night during museum smash-and-grab

Last night some asshole smashed a glass door at the Singer Laren museum near Amsterdam and stole Vincent van Gogh's oil painting “The Parsonage Garden at Nuenen in Spring 1884." The museum has been closed due to COVID-19. From the Associated Press:

The value of the (10" x 22") work, which was on loan from the Groninger Museum in the northern Dutch city of Groningen, was not immediately known. Van Gogh’s paintings, when they rarely come up for sale, fetch millions at auction...

A team including forensics and art theft experts was studying video footage and questioning neighbors. [Museum General Director Evert] Van Os said the museum’s security worked “according to protocol,” but he added: “Obviously we can learn from this.”

Read the rest

Watch a suspected thief instantly discouraged by a fun DIY crime deterrent

Katie and Josh Camarena of Portervilla, California came up an excellent theft deterrent during a rash of crime in their neighborhood. From LADbible:

In a post on Facebook, she explained: "We have been having issues with people coming into our neighborhood to try and steal tools out of vehicles (And anything else they can get their hands on).

"Our flood light didn't seem to scare them off, so we decided to have a little fun with a motion activated sprinkler that has an impressive amount of pressure." Read the rest

Ice cream licker jailed

A man will go to jail for the crime of videoing himself licking ice cream and then returning the beslobbered dessert to the freezer, despite checking it out afterwards. The social media stunt earned D’Adrien Anderson, 24, much attention online, but now it's earned him 30 days in jail. He'll also have to pay a $1000 fine and reimburse Blue Bell Creameries, which apparently destroyed the entire freezerful of products.

Security footage proved that after the video ends, Anderson took and paid for the ice cream he licked. But it was to no avail.

The incident happened Aug. 26 at a Walmart in Port Arthur. Store surveillance cameras showed that he finally took the Blue Bell ice cream from the freezer and bought it, which wasn’t captured in the social media video, authorities said. Anderson could have been sentenced to up to a year in jail and fined $4,000 for misdemeanor criminal mischief.

As reported by the A.P., the crime here was partially consuming a product before checking it out -- something a lot of people do every day. I suspect he was prosecuted because his gross viral video made people like District Attorney Bob Wortham experience anger and resentment. Read the rest

Thief used fishing rod to steal a fancy necklace from a department store

In the surveillance footage above, a fellow is seen using a fishing rod to snatch a designer necklace from a mannequin's neck inside a Melbourne, Australia shop. Police are asking for help identifying the suspect. From CNN:

Authorities believe the man made a hole in the storefront glass window, then slid the fishing rod through the hole into the store to lift the necklace from the mannequin inside, according to CNN affiliate Nine News.

"It appears that the burglar was fishing for about three hours before landing his catch," said police in the statement.

Read the rest

Los Angeles police capture suspect driving stolen SUV hearse with body inside

Last night, someone stole a Lincoln Navigator hearse with a body inside. The police search just ended this morning with a high-speed pursuit on the 110 freeway that ended in the Lincoln Navigator crashing. They apprehended the suspect and the body was still inside the vehicle.

According to CBS Local, the SUV "was stolen from out in front of St. Anthony’s Greek Orthodox Church in unincorporated Pasadena. A casket holding a woman’s body was inside the vehicle at the time of the theft."

News video below.

Read the rest

Gentleman on EasyJet flight began eating his phone, forced landing

A gentleman on an easyJet flight from Manchester to Iceland apparently began disassembling and chewing up parts of his mobile phone, causing the battery to smoke and alarming passengers. Prior to this snack, Matthew Flaherty, 44, was simply acting like a drunk asshole violently threatening passengers and crew. The pilot diverted the plane to Edinburgh Aiport. Upon Flaherty's arrest, he screamed racist remarks to the police. The incident happened last year and Flaherty was just in court to face the music. From The Scotsman:

Solicitor Richard Souter, defending, said his client was “aghast at his behaviour” on the flight and had little recollection of the events due to mixing alcohol with painkillers he had taken for a trapped nerve.

Mr Souter said the combination of medication and alcohol had “an adverse effect on his behaviour”.

Sheriff Thomas Welsh QC said Flaherty had carried out an “extremely serious offence” and deferred sentence to next month for the preparation of reports.

The sheriff added: “This is an extremely serious case and you should prepare yourself for custody.”

image credit: Adrian Pingstone (public domain) Read the rest

Yet again, police arrest gentleman with "Crime Pays" tattoo on his forehead

Yet again, Donald Murray, 38, was arrested following a police chase. Apparently he escaped the cops but they nabbed him later. I wonder how they managed to identify him. From Fox4:

According to the Terre Haute Police Department, Donald Murray was charged with resisting law enforcement, reckless driving, possession of methamphetamine, maintaining a common nuisance and auto theft after the short pursuit Monday morning.

Read the rest

Michael Avenatti convicted of trying to extort Nike

Michael Avenatti, the pugnacious lawyer who rose to fame representing porn star and Trump mistress Stormy Daniels, is now a convicted criminal. A jury found him guilty today of trying to extort millions of dollars from fashion brand Nike by threatening to publicly accuse them of making illegal payments to amateur athletes. He'll be sentenced in June, and faces two other trials: one on a count of fraud, and another for allegedly stealing Daniels' book advance.

Avenatti made the sign of the cross prior to the verdict being read, stared at the jury and looked down at the table. He told the lawyers, "Great job, you guys," and hugged one of them as he was led away to a backroom. He was not handcuffed. "Of course there will be an appeal," Scott Srebnick, Avenatti's lead defense attorney, told CNN. Srebnick said he was going to meet with Avenatti before his cient was taken to the Metropolitan Correctional Center, where he's been in custody throughout the trial. ...

Nike lawyers who took the stand during the trial said Avenatti told them he would hold a press conference claiming the company illegally paid players. In exchange for not going public, Avenatti told the lawyers in one meeting Nike would have to pay Franklin $1.5 million for any claims he had and immediately pay Avenatti and another attorney $12 million, and guarantee $15 to $25 million in payments for an internal investigation, prosecutors said.

"An old fashioned shakedown," as the prosecutor put it. Read the rest

Impressive video of truck picked clean by thieves

NBC5 Dallas/Fort Worth reporter Katy Blakey posted impressive video from a road in Southlake, Texas where thieves picked a Chevrolet Silverado clean, leaving not much more than the shell of the cab behind. There's been a rash of Silverado thefts in the area, possibly because the OnStar tracking systems are easily disabled, according to police. From NBC-DFW:

“Within 3 minutes [thieves] were able to pop the lock, pop the hood, change the computer, disable the OnStar and steal my truck,” (said Silverado theft victim Jarrod Hamlin, who reviewed surveillance footage of the crime.)

He tried to log on to his MyChevy app to use OnStar to track the vehicle, but it showed a failed connection and he realized OnStar had been disabled.

So he called police, filed a report, then turned to social media and started hearing similar stories from other Silverado owners in the area.

“They all said the same thing: no glass was broken, their keys weren’t used and the OnStar was disabled so fast that a lot of these people said OnStar’s last known location was in front of my house,” Hamlin said.

(via Geekologie) Read the rest

US authorities seize almost one million dollars in counterfeit $1 bills

At Minnesota's International Falls Port of Entry, US Customs and Border Protection seized $900,000 in $1 bills in a shipping container from China making its way on a train from Canada into the United States. The bills were packed inside 45 cardboard boxes. From US Customs and Border Protection:

Due to the vigilance of CBP officers, a rail container was referred for a Customs Exam Station inspection on Dec. 14, 2019.

During the examination, CBP discovered 45 cartons of possible counterfeit currency in the form of $1 bills with a total face value of $900,000. The United States Secret Service was contacted (and) determined the currency is counterfeit.

The counterfeit currency was seized and will be turned over to the Secret Service.

(via CNN)

Read the rest

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