Watch this douchey dealer training video for the 1989 Chevy Celebrity

Let's harken back to a time when golf pants fit uncomfortably snug and white guys peer pressured each other to keep up appearances by driving the "right car," which in this sales training video is some model (any model) of the 1989 Chevy Celebrity. "It looks like a successful businessman's car," exclaims the plaid-panted boss man.

If you can sit through the nauseating good ol' boy banter and drum riffs, you'll be "rewarded" when you can finally feast your eyes on the premium stereo radio with cassette deck that comes with the Preferred Equipment Group #3 in the Eurosport model. And don't even get me started on that sweet, sweet heavy duty battery.

"Eddie," I fear it's too late but you should try to get your 1976 Fury back and steer clear of these bozos. Read the rest

How to make a first date even more awkward? Eye-tracking glasses

First dates are often cringey, so a first date with cameras rolling will be next-level cringe. To take it to the next level, ask one date participant wear eye-tracking goggles. Enjoy! Read the rest

Reporter sings Happy Birthday to German chancellor and no-one joins in.

Thank God he didn't try to dance. [YouTube]

A German television reporter launched into a rendition of Happy Birthday, Liebe Bundeskanzlerin (dear chancellor) at a news conference in Brussels early on Thursday – but got no backup from his colleagues.

Merkel laughed and said: "I should have sung along, then it would have been better. But thank you."

Read the rest

WSJ excitedly notices "Weird Twitter"

The Wall Street Journal's Katherin Rosman has learned of a secret subculture of users on Twitter notable for their nonsensical yet incisive humor. What would normally be well below the journal's radar has surfaced, it seems, thanks to the twitterers' "insincere engagement" with corporate-friendly advertweets. The most writheworthy cringe-moment is Rosman's quoting of a "tech entrepreneur" to speak for Twitter's "purists finding refuge in Weird Twitter." Read the rest