What's worse than the salad and the comb thing? Klobuchar’s office reportedly required staff to stay on after taking family leave for a newborn.

The runner wrestled with a juvenile lion estimated to weigh 80 pounds before suffocating it to death in a park west of Fort Collins.

Watch. So chilling.

Find someone who is as happy to see you as Russian President Vladimir Putin and Saudi Crown Prince bin Salman, who high-five each other and dive in for a bro hug, laughing like only two murderers can, at the G20 in Argentina. Read the rest

I thought I had seen it all but now there's this... the Digging Dog Butt Tissue Holder ($28).

"Get laughs as you pull tissues from this diligently digging dog's behind."

Oh, I will.

"Great way for a teacher, therapist, or salesperson to get smiles."

Obviously.

Surprise, it's just a square box of tissues under there! Read the rest

An open letter to Post Consumer Brands:

In regards to your new Sour Patch Kids cereal, I quote Dr. Ian Malcom (and if there was EVER a time to pull out this quote, it's now):

"Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should."

And, they really shouldn't have.

Sincerely, Rusty.

P.S. Are you marketing these to kids or stoners?

---

Folks, it's not April 1st and this doesn't appear to be a joke. The new Sour Patch Kids cereal will be available at Walmart on December 26. Come next June, it will be available in a grocery store near you. Candy cereal, yup.

image via Facebook Read the rest

U.S. military intelligence analysis documents obtained by Newsweek reveal that defense officials do not believe there are terrorists or other national security threats present within the so-called “migrant caravan.” Despite this, Trump has demanded that up to 15,000 military troops be dispatched to the border, to brace for an “invasion” that doesn't exist, just before the midterm elections. Read the rest

Full-on white supremacy and fascism, folks. Nothing to hide anymore. Read the rest

Here is a new and frightening tweet that I don't understand. Read the rest

An official with the U.S. Veterans Administration proudly displayed a lit formal portrait of Nathan Bedford Forrest, the Ku Klux Klan's first Grand Wizard, despite protestations from people who worked for him. ‘I thought it was very nice,’ he said of the official showcased art, which he is sad to have been forced to take down. Read the rest

This man's reaction when a stranger points out he's wearing his motorcycle helmet BACKWARDS is endearing. Read the rest

“I suggest that you call people you know in Thailand, find out what’s actually going on and stop defending child rapists, you fucking asshole.” — Elon Musk, September 4, 2018, to Buzzfeed News. Read the rest

OMG, what did I just watch?!

Rolling Stone:

Neko Case’s anthropomorphic, animated genitals enjoy a corndog with Mark Lanegan’s top hat-adorned penis in the new video for “Curse of the I-5 Corridor.” The song appears on Case’s seventh solo LP Hell-On, which Rolling Stone named one of the 50 Best Albums of 2018 So Far.

Stay weird, you two. Read the rest

In an interview with CBS News' Jeff Glor on Sunday, President Donald Trump was asked which nations he considered to be foes of the United States. Read the rest

Please don't shoot the messenger on this one. But to show how mad advertising has become, I present to you this super-weird commercial for Gain laundry detergent where a boy sniffs a jockstrap.

Here's the premise: Two boys (the "Martinez brothers") attempt to prank their napping "dad" by placing a jockstrap (that they just pulled out of a gym bag with a stick) on his face. What the young pranksters don't know is that the jockstrap has been washed with Gain, which has effectively eliminated the man-crotch aroma. So, instead of being woken up in disgust by the smell of his own junk, the dad just smiles and keeps on sleeping. Confused, the older boy then takes the jockstrap back and gives it a deep huff. The announcer says, "That, boys, is the sweet smell of defeat."

I'm laughing so hard. Who greenlighted this?! And what parent would be ok with their child taking an acting role that involves sniffing a jockstrap to sell laundry detergent?

The internet has questions too:

@ProcterGamble 1-800-888-4642 Your jock strap #GainDetergent commercial is ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!What's next soiled diapers or menstrual?What is wrong with u ppl? Ur advertising dept is morbid SICK!!! Contributing 2 the vile sickness in this country! Hope u fire them all!

— Carrie (@CarrieHKP57) July 6, 2018

Has anyone else seen the #Gain detergent, jockstrap commercial... where the kids sniff their dad’s jockstrap? I’m like super disturbed by it and want to know who the hell ok’d that? #wrong

— Jason Engler (@JasonJEngler) July 6, 2018

The #Gains Flings commercial showing the son sniffing his sleeping dad’s jockstrap for a prank he’s trying to pull is the creepiest thing I have seen all year!

Read the rest

He's doing God's work. Which God that might be, however, is open for debate. Read the rest

Did the scene in the new IT movie where Pennywise bites Georgie's arm, only for the camera to cut to an exterior shot of the drain, leave you frustrated and hankering for more? If you want to dwell on the boy's dismembered fate on an indefinite basis, this animatronic prop at the TransWorld Halloween & Attractions Show in St. Louis this week should be right up your sewer.

You might be fortunate enough to see this at your local haunted house this fall, the laughing and shaking and screaming as an endlessly looping moment.

I usually love the pop-culture grand guignol transgressive trash of modern Halloween horror, but I really hate this! A sense of amazed wonder subsiding to cold dismay. There's something very 2018 going on here. It doesn't have anything to do with our lives but we all know that terrible things will soon be happening and we've developed a very strange language to accomodate ourselves to the prospect of it.

Here's the top comment on the YouTube thread:

Funny Vine Videos | FVV 3 hours ago Can we feature your video in our YouTube channel ? Please make sure to email me at funnyvinevideos.fvv(at)gmail(dot)com I have a great offer for you $$$

Am I just getting old? Tell me if I'm just getting old. Read the rest

“WTF!” My friend Jon Letman in Hawaii tells us about the terrifying false alarm he and his wife and son just received that their island, Kauai, was being bombed. Read the rest