In today's edition of impeached president Donald Trump's brain melting down on live television, fresh word salad featuring health care and the verb 'terminate.' Read the rest

They want to drill the Moon. Read the rest

In a coronavirus briefing at the White House just now, impeached and manifestly unfit United States President Donald Trump wished North Korea's murderous dictator Kim Jong Un “good luck.”

In so doing, Trump expressed greater concern for Kim than he has at any point so far for the nearly 45,000 Americans who have died of COVID-19. Read the rest

I really don't know what to say here. This is so demented, and so awful, I just can't even. Read the rest

“In one notable instance, a saleswoman filed a lawsuit in 1997 alleging that when she told Bloomberg she was pregnant, his response was, 'Kill it.'”

Mike Bloomberg is running for President of the United States as a Democrat this year. He has long been accused by former employees of maintaining a hostile working environment, in particular toward women. Read the rest

Here is a tweet from Donald Trump, the man serving America as the 45th president. Read the rest

This is one of the more WTF videos I've seen in a while. It starts with a jack-in-the-box getting tossed off a school(?) bus in New York(?) and ends with one of the greatest reveals since Nicolas Roeg's 1973 psychological thriller, Don't Look Now.

It may very well be staged because it's just too good.

OMG I don't even know what to do with this! pic.twitter.com/Yl7MDwHNs8

— Yashar Ali ? (@yashar) November 12, 2019

Image: Twitter

[Updated 11/12/19 4:03pm PT] Indeed, it's a skit by Daniel Jean:

Read the rest

As I have stated strongly before, and just to reiterate, if Turkey does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits, I will totally destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey (I’ve done before!). They must, with Europe and others, watch over...

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 7, 2019

I am unsure which Marvel Universe we are living in. Read the rest

In recent years, American and Canadian diplomats in Cuba have been targeted with mysterious "sonic rays" (edit: actually there is no evidence that they were intentionally subjects to sonic rays). The attacks have caused the brains of the diplomats to shrink, according to a paper just published in The Journal of the American Medical Association.

From The Telegraph:

Scientists at the University of Pennsylvania noticed the whole white matter volume - areas of the central nervous system that affects learning - of the diplomats was roughly five percent smaller than usual.

Meanwhile the functional connectivity in the auditory network was down approximately 15 percent.

Dr Douglas Smith, who took part in the analysis, likened the neurological effects on some of the patients as an “electricity brown-out”.

“These types of changes are completely unknown to us,” he told The Daily Telegraph.

“We haven’t seen anything like it before and it’s very curious. What it is, we’re not sure, but there does appear to be something there.”

Dr Smith disclosed that while some of the patients have recovered, others still struggling with their symptoms.

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay Read the rest

Washington, DC will be the site of a grandiose self-homage that may cost “well into the millions”

During a press conference at the G-20 Summit in Japan, President Trump was asked about federally mandated busing, a topic that Senator Kamala Harris and former Vice President Joe Biden sparred over during Thursday night's Democratic presidential debate. Read the rest

What's worse than the salad and the comb thing? Klobuchar’s office reportedly required staff to stay on after taking family leave for a newborn.

The runner wrestled with a juvenile lion estimated to weigh 80 pounds before suffocating it to death in a park west of Fort Collins.

Watch. So chilling.

Find someone who is as happy to see you as Russian President Vladimir Putin and Saudi Crown Prince bin Salman, who high-five each other and dive in for a bro hug, laughing like only two murderers can, at the G20 in Argentina. Read the rest

I thought I had seen it all but now there's this... the Digging Dog Butt Tissue Holder ($28).

"Get laughs as you pull tissues from this diligently digging dog's behind."

Oh, I will.

"Great way for a teacher, therapist, or salesperson to get smiles."

Obviously.

Surprise, it's just a square box of tissues under there! Read the rest

An open letter to Post Consumer Brands:

In regards to your new Sour Patch Kids cereal, I quote Dr. Ian Malcom (and if there was EVER a time to pull out this quote, it's now):

"Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should."

And, they really shouldn't have.

Sincerely, Rusty.

P.S. Are you marketing these to kids or stoners?

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Folks, it's not April 1st and this doesn't appear to be a joke. The new Sour Patch Kids cereal will be available at Walmart on December 26. Come next June, it will be available in a grocery store near you. Candy cereal, yup.

image via Facebook Read the rest

U.S. military intelligence analysis documents obtained by Newsweek reveal that defense officials do not believe there are terrorists or other national security threats present within the so-called “migrant caravan.” Despite this, Trump has demanded that up to 15,000 military troops be dispatched to the border, to brace for an “invasion” that doesn't exist, just before the midterm elections. Read the rest