Kindergarten and first grade football team holding a gun raffle

A kindergarten and first grade football time in Morrow, Ohio is holding a gun raffle to raise travel money for tournaments. They've already sold 500 tickets. The winners, 21 years or older, will receive either a handgun or HM Guardian F5 Elite. Apparently, gun raffles to support kids sports and schools isn't uncommon. From WLWT:

Gina Pennycuff is a mother and a substitute teacher. She happened to be working when she got a Facebook message about the gun raffle.

"It was disturbing to me because gun raffles for a youth organization just doesn't mix," she said.

She shared the flyer on Facebook and the comment section took off, some in favor and some opposed...

"I can't imagine being a parent of a kindergartener and them worrying and doing lockdown drills, but them also knowing they're raffling off guns," she said.

"Youth football team gun raffle sparks debate" (Thanks, Charles Pescovitz!) Read the rest

After Nike hires Colin Kaepernick for ad campaign, conservative halfwits destroy own property to own the libs

Nike hired Kap for an ad campaign: a satisfying yet bathetic result of his de facto expulsion from professional football for protesting police brutality by kneeling during the national anthem. Conservatives are mad, obviously, and are expressing it by destroying the Nike-branded gear that they have already paid for.

Life is but a dream. Read the rest

Delightful clip of soccer player juggling gum

Below, German football player Felix Passlack demonstrates masterful gum control:

When you spit your gum out, but your hands are dirty
Read the rest

Trippy film flashes 2,000 aerial shots of football fields in three minutes

Playground compiles 2,000 Google Earth images of American football fields, then plays them alphabetically at a speed where they become hypnotic. Read the rest

This Bad Lip Reading of "NFL 2017" is absolutely hilarious

I don't follow football, but Bad Lip Reading hit a grand slam with this one! I'm literally LOLing over here, people...

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High school football coach bit heads off live frogs for good luck

Weird Universe shares the tale of Larry Canaday, the 1970s football coach at Eau Gallie High School in Melbourne, Florida, who would bite the heads off live frogs to psych up his team before games.

"Our kids love it," Canaday told the Associated Press in 1977. "They say 'Look how wild the coach is, let's get wild, too!'"

Canaday said he started the practice when trying to fire up one player. "I looked down and saw this little frog and just reached down and bit it. The boy's eyes got big as saucers and he became a real go-geter."

After several years of the ritual, school officials told him that the "frog-biting must cease."

"Last year we were winning," he said in the 1977 article. "But now we're losing, and certain intellects will use this as an excuse to pick on football." Read the rest

NFL acknowledges link between football and brain disease for the first time

The chief health and safety officer of the NFL today acknowledged a connection between football-related head trauma and chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), in what is the first time any senior football league official has said anything about the link between football and the devastating brain disease that affects so many who play the game. Read the rest

Happy Mutants Guide to Understanding Football

Football is about one thing and one thing only: dance. As far as I can tell American rules football is where men in elaborate costumes, featuring tight pants, seek to stop other men from dancing.

Colloquially known as a touchdown celebration, the body of rules and regulations managed by the credible governing body, the National Football League, seems to focus on allowable practices to bar the opposing team from dancing. After they've determined what you can do to stop a dancer, and what things are permissible to get the dancer on to the dance floor, known as an "end zone," the NFL then heavily regulates what type of dancing is appropriate.

We have seen Footloose, sad things happen when you try to stop people from dancing. In the NFL this frustration frequently seems to present as abuse and other ugly, unacceptable social behaviors.

I do like the commercials.

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Beer to be named after Joe Paterno, late coach who enabled Jerry Sandusky sex abuse

For fans of beer honoring a sex-abuse enabler, this one's for you.

Understanding American football helps us understand America

Radiolab can always be depended on for an interesting take on questions you never even knew you had. Their story on American Football is no exception. Read the rest

Nick Harmer's Skittles portrait of Marshawn Lynch

photo: Kate Harmer/Hum Creative

BB pal Nick Harmer, bassist for Death Cab for Cutie, made a portrait of Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch out of Skittles. Why, Nick? "Because GO HAWKS!" More photos below. Read the rest

Marching band does excellent Michael Jackson tribute

I hate football but I love marching bands. Here's the Ohio State Marching Band doing a terrific Michael Jackson tribute during a game on Saturday. Don't miss the moonwalk money shot at 4:45! Read the rest

Soccer match-rigging, straight out of a Gibson novel

Here's a brutal, must-read article from Brian Phillips detailing the bizarre, globalized game of soccer-match-rigging, which launders its influence, money and bets through countries all over the world, in what sounds like an intense, sport-themed LARP of a William Gibson Sprawl novel:

Right now, Dan Tan's programmers are busy reverse-engineering the safeguards of online betting houses. About $3 billion is wagered on sports every day, most of it on soccer, most of it in Asia. That's a lot of noise on the big exchanges. We can exploit the fluctuations, rig the bets in a way that won't trip the houses' alarms. And there are so many moments in a soccer game that could swing either way. All you have to do is see an Ilves tackle in the box where maybe the Viikingit forward took a dive. It happens all the time. It would happen anyway. So while you're running around the pitch in Finland, the syndicate will have computers placing high-volume max bets on whatever outcome the bosses decided on, using markets in Manila that take bets during games, timing the surges so the security bots don't spot anything suspicious. The exchanges don't care, not really. They get a cut of all the action anyway. The system is stacked so it's gamblers further down the chain who bear all the risks.

What's that — you're worried about getting caught? It won't happen. Think about the complexity of our operation. We are organized in Singapore, I flew from Budapest, the match is in Finland, we're wagering in the Philippines using masked computer clusters from Bangkok to Jakarta.

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Junior Seau had brain disease caused by "two decades of hits to the head"

ABC News reports that a team of scientists who analyzed the brain tissue of the late NFL star Junior Seau after his 2012 suicide "have concluded the football player suffered a debilitating brain disease likely caused by two decades worth of hits to the head." Read the rest

NY Giant Victor Cruz pays tribute to a Newtown victim

When New York Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz found out that Newtown victim Jack Pinto, 6, was a huge fan, he decided to dedicate Sunday's game against the Atlanta Falcons to the first-grader. Cruz, the father of an eleven-month-old girl, decorated his cleats and gloves with tributes to Jack, calling the boy his "hero." Normally, writing on uniforms or gear would be cause for a fine in the NFL, but Cruz -- and the rest of the Giants and the New York Jets, who had "SHES" written on their helmets (Sandy Hook Elementary School) -- won't be in trouble. (The Giants' playoff chances? Another story.) Jack's family has been in touch with Cruz since the weekend, offering any needed assistance, and he has promised to try and meet with them in person, even if just for a short time. He's also promised to give the Pinto family the cleats as a keepsake. If the final score of that game wasn't enough to make a Giants fan weep (present company included), then this story certainly is. (via TIME)

Photo credit: Victor Cruz on Twitter Read the rest

Italian Judge: outdoor sex illegal even when locals distracted by sports

An Italian court determined Wednesday that it is not legal to have sex outdoors, even if everyone else is inside watching football. [Philip Pullella, Reuters] Read the rest

Ohio State Marching Band halftime show of video game theme songs

Halftime performance of The Ohio State University Marching Band during a game against Nebraska on October 6. A "video game" theme, with music from Zelda, Halo, Pokemon, Tetris, and others. Read the rest

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