A Krampus Carol to remind you of why rotten kids should be wary this season

Anthony Bourdain left us earlier this year, but the joy he found in the world's many cultures and traditions will always be around for us to savor.

In this quick holiday story, written by Bourdain, North America is given a brief, dark, humorous peek into the mythos surrounding Krampus, a goat-demon who comes during the Christmas holidays to punish children who misbehaved over the last year. A good pal of Santa Claus, Krampus, and the dread he has instilled in rotten kids for generations, most likely pre-dates Christianity.

From Wikipedia:

There seems to be little doubt as to his true identity for, in no other form is the full regalia of the Horned God of the Witches so well preserved. The birch – apart from its phallic significance – may have a connection with the initiation rites of certain witch-covens; rites which entailed binding and scourging as a form of mock-death. The chains could have been introduced in a Christian attempt to 'bind the Devil' but again they could be a remnant of pagan initiation rites.

Merry Krampusnacht! Read the rest

If Santa had a raunchy Netflix comedy special

Hey Santa, 1983 called. Eddie Murphy wants his tight red leather suit back.

This Team Coco bit imagines Santa Claus telling off-color jokes for a stand-up comedy special on Netflix called, "Sack Up! Santa Live!" It's so wrong. Read the rest

Santa Cam knows when you are sleeping AND awake

Your kids thought that Elf on the Shelf was a dirty snitch, but just wait until they get a load of this Santa Cam.

For just $19.99 you can further perpetuate one of the world's biggest lie to children, the existence of Santa Claus. Because, that jolly guy in the red suit knows when you are sleeping and he knows when you are awake, with or without this (dummy) cam.

Santa can "check-in" from the North Pole to see when kids are kind to others, listen to their parents, and make good choices!

But wait, there's more! The let's-normalize-survelliance cam comes with the book, The Santa Cam Saves Christmas.

A big thanks to SF Slim! Read the rest

Watch a three-year-old get Spider-Man for Christmas

Santa Claus grants a superhero wish for three-year-old Kieran!

TOM THE DANCING BUG: Mitt Romney Plays "Santa Claus Politics"

Help sustain Tom the Dancing Bug, by @RubenBolling, by joining its INNER HIVE. Please click HERE for information. Read the rest

SantaCon 2011: Naked Santas World Record

[video link]

Funny man and filmmaker Mark Day shares his videos embedded above and below, and explains:

Tex Allen of WhyTheNose.com reminds revellers that it's not illegal to be nude in San Francisco (lewd is, of course, another matter), during an apparently legitimate Guinness World Record attempt to assemble the most naked Santas in one place, at Washington Square Park in San Francisco during SantaCon 29011. No word on when the record is actually ratified.

Of course, several hundred suit-optional Santas opted to keep their clothes on.

[video link]

Read the rest