A useless machine that wraps gifts in 10 seconds

It's not a good machine or a precise machine, but it is still a machine that will wrap gifts (and sandwiches and ankles) in 10 seconds.

But the best part of this video isn't the present wrapping, it's when inventor Joseph Herscher of Joseph's Machines shows his many attempts at automating the Christmas-tree-decorating process. Read the rest

5-year-old boy calls 911 to rat out the Grinch stealing Christmas, ends in arrest

Five-year-old TyLon Pittman of Byram, Mississippi wasn't going to take any chances when he thought the Grinch was going to steal his Christmas. After watching Grinch movies on YouTube on Saturday, he did what any concerned citizen would do and quietly called 911 to report him. He hung up a few times before a 911 operator called back and took TyLon's report.

Here's the call:

And here's a video his older brother TeDera Dwayne Graves II took when officer Lauren Develle arrived for a fun house call:

On Monday, the story had started making the rounds and TyLon was invited by Officer Develle to apprehend the Grinch.

The Clarion Ledger reports:

The Grinch could be charged with crimes including attempted theft of Christmas, Develle said. It wasn't as much about charging him for his wrongdoing as keeping a promise to her new friend.

Hanging his head, still wearing his Santa outfit, the Grinch put up no fight as he was shut in the holding cell inside the police department.

"Come here Ty," the Grinch said. Taking the boy's hand in a handshake, he said, "You have saved Christmas for the people of Byram. Your bravery is unmatched. You have saved the day."

"Why are you stealing Christmas?" TyLon asked him with an unwavering gaze. After a moment of thought, the Grinch just shrugged his shoulders.

This little guy already knows he wants to be when he grows up: a police officer, of course.

To save Christmas, boy calls 911 on the Grinch and Grinch arrested after 5-year-old's heroic 911 call to save Christmas

Thanks, Paul! Read the rest

When gifts are for the receiver

More Christmas fun with the British middle class!

Previously: When gifts are for the giver. Read the rest

When gifts are for the giver

This video encapsulates every British middle-class family's Christmas since at least the 1960s. Read the rest

If Santa had a raunchy Netflix comedy special

Hey Santa, 1983 called. Eddie Murphy wants his tight red leather suit back.

This Team Coco bit imagines Santa Claus telling off-color jokes for a stand-up comedy special on Netflix called, "Sack Up! Santa Live!" It's so wrong. Read the rest

These ugly Christmas sweaters have special booze-bottle-holding pockets

At this point, I can't tell if it's a race to the bottom or the top of the "ugly Christmas sweater" genre. Either way, there's a new contender. An enterprising Etsy shop owner has created a line of one-of-a-kind holiday sweaters that allow you to get your drink on easily. By sewing a giant stocking on the front of some already-ugly sweaters, Berkleysbiz has made it possible for you to carry around an entire bottle of wine or liquor right on your chest. Happy holidays, indeed!

Pro tip: They suggest stuffing the bottom of the stocking with paper towels, so the bottle's top will peek over the stocking's edge.

Prices start at $42.99 and do not include the booze. Read the rest

The Gävle goat: huge straw holiday goat often gets burned down

The Gävle goat is an enormous straw goat erected anually in the Swedish town. Just as traditional, though, is the act of (illegally) burning it down. Though the authorities have made efforts to prevent the arson, the Gävle goat only has about a half chance of surviving December. Reddit user desfirsit charted the historical survival rates across the month, and found that the heavy-drinking days leading up to St Lucy's Day and Christmas were most dangerous for the Gävle goat: "Only 44 percent of the goats have survived all of december." Read the rest

The Tesla Model X is tricked out with a built-in holiday music and light show

People who drive Tesla's Model X have a cool "easter egg" feature built right into their vehicle: a holiday music and light show set to the tune of Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s "Wizards In Winter"! When activated, this all-electric luxury vehicle will display a synchronized show using the car's headlights, turn signals, and falcon wings.

The video above was shot by a woman in Ohio who writes:

"My daughter and I were going to deliver her fundraiser sales when she stopped me and said mom look it’s a Tesla! It was in our next door neighbors driveway and honestly I didn’t know what was so special about the car. We are pretty close with our neighbors so we went over to ask who’s car it was and here it was their insurance guys car. He heard us ask and said come on out and let me show you something. My husband wasn’t home at the time so I wanted to video it to show him later. I was amazed with it to say the least and thought everyone else would like to see it to, so I posted it on Facebook..."

Here's a better look at it, a video from 2015 showing three vehicles in sync:

More importantly, here's how to turn on the show:

Press and hold the Tesla “T” for 5 seconds

When the “PLEASE ENTER ACCESS CODE” prompt appears, enter the code “holiday” or “ModelXmas” and press “OK”

A prompt will appear that reads “The show will begin after you exit the car, close all doors and press the lock button on the key.

Read the rest

LA Peeps: Don't miss Allee Willis' campy 'Love N' Latkes' show

Heads up! The reigning Queen of Kitsch, Allee Willis, is hosting three live Christmas/Hanukkah mashup "party performance" shows in Studio City later this week.

She writes:

It is with great pleasure that I announce my craziest in-the-best-sense-of-the-word nuts live show yet! For 3 big nights - Nov. 30-Dec. 2 - the party rages on at Allee Willis’ Love ’N Latkes Chanukah Christmas Shopping (and Singing and Comedy) Extravaganza Show! An ALL NEW "one-woman + Andrae” party performance featuring hit songs (I was just nominated for the Songwriters Hall of Fame so you know they’re great hits!), sing-alongs, the least appropriate stories a songwriter could tell, and, oh yeah, not just an auction of supreme flea finds but the greatest early holiday gift shopping in the whole wide Kitsch world!!

That’s right! For the first time ever, I’ll be opening the vaults and auctioning off treasures from my own world-renowned personal Kitsch, Pop, and Soul collection!

Tickets to all three shows (Thursday 11/30, Friday 12/1, and Saturday 12/2) are available now. Her shows always sell out so, if you're thinking of going, grab tickets now. Read the rest

Behold the Hipster Nativity Set

Look closely: the stable has a solar panel. Sweet baby Jeebus, someone has made a Hipster Nativity Set.

Take special note of...

"Joseph" (who has a man bun we can't see) taking a selfie with newborn "Jesus" and the Starbucks-drinking, duck-faced "Mary":

The "Three Wise Men" on Segways, delivering Amazon Prime packages:

And, the teenage shepherd capturing the moment for social media:

Apparently this too-cool crèche came out last year and sold like gangbusters. It's available again this year and the price has come down. It's now $109.99.

Thanks, Diana F-W! Read the rest

Boing Boing Gift Guide 2017

Here's this year's complete Boing Boing Gift Guide: dozens of great ideas for stocking stuffers, brain-hammers, mind-expanders, terrible toys, badass books and more. Where available, we use Amazon Affiliate links to help keep the world's greatest neurozine online.

This Christmas elf is selling fast because of its suggestive tongue

Press this plush Christmas elf's foot and its tongue starts vibrating, quite suggestively. The Sun reports:

The £10 toy has been flying off the shelves at Asda stores across the country with sales reaching a climax even though there is still more than a month to go to the big day.

Punters have to press a button in its foot to make its hands move away from its face as it wiggles its tongue at high speed and shouts: "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," indeed.

(somenews) Read the rest

There's an advent calendar full of weed

Over the years, we've seen many advent calendars geared for grown-ups. They're filled with things adults appreciate: booze, beer, and of course, Star Wars LEGO bricks.

Now it's weed's turn. To fill that niche, Coast to Coast Medicinals, a mail-order medical marijuana shop in Vancouver, Canada, has created a cannabis-filled advent calendar. The product's description reads, "Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house everyone was smoking, even the mouse."

Their special countdown to Christmas calendar can be filled with 24 days of edibles, flowers, or a combination of both (the current top seller). Coast to Coast's owner Lorilee Fedler shared with Boing Boing that they're anticipating selling out. She writes, "We are selling them so fast that we might have to cut sales off if we can't find more boxes."

As for the inspiration behind it, Fedler explains, "We loved the booze calendar and thought, 'Why not do a weed one?' Something fun for adults."

For those of you who are dreaming of a green Christmas, the calendar is available to pre-order until November 20 (to ensure December 1 delivery), in Canada only. Prices range from C$200 to C$230. For comparison, a gram of the shop's flowers cost between C$9 to C$13 and the flower-only box contains a full 26 grams.

Previously: Cannabis ad brilliantly parodies prescription drug commercials Read the rest

Things cats hate: Christmas bonnets

Some new vending machines in Japan are now dispensing "Cute Cute Cat Christmas-chan headgear," a set of holiday bonnets for cats, in plastic toy capsules, according to SoraNews24:

As with all capsule toy offerings, the exact model you get is randomized. Luckily, with only four designs in total you’ve got a pretty decent chance of getting the design you want, and honestly, they’re all pretty cute, without a single dud in the mix...

At 500 yen (US$4.50) a pop, they’re just a little more expensive than average for capsule toys, but still cheap enough to make a great stocking stuffer for your animal housemates or pet-owning friends.

While it's fine to appreciate these incredibly cute product photos and imagine our own felines dressed up à la "Cute Cute Cat Christmas-chan," I think we can all agree that cats. hate. things. on. their. head.

Still... I'd buy one of each if I had the chance. Read the rest

The ugly Christmas romper might just be the new ugly Christmas sweater

Move over, ugly Christmas sweaters, because now there's ugly Christmas rompers.

The three-pieced collection is the latest offerings from online all-over-pattern clothing retailer Getonfleek. Should you need one (or more), they are priced at $99.99 each.

And yes, there is one for Hanukkah too:

Previously: A fugly ALF Christmas Sweater exists (Mashable) Read the rest

Here lies Santa Claus

The remains of proto-Santa may have been found. An intact tomb has been found beneath the Church of Saint Nicholas in Demre, a popular site for pilgrimages due to the belief it is the final resting place of the Christmas phantom.

Via BBC:

An intact tomb has been found underneath Saint Nicholas Church, in the Demre district of Turkey's south-west province of Antalya.

Demre was built on the ruins of Myra, where St Nicholas was thought to have lived in the 4th Century.

Until now, the bones of St Nicholas were believed to be in Bari, Italy. It had been thought they were taken by Italian merchants in 1087 when Myra - at the time a Greek town - was invaded by the Seljuk Turks.

By then St Nicholas was already revered among Christians for his generosity, in particular to children, and his humility.

The church of St Nicholas in Demre is a popular destination for pilgrims as the site of St Nicholas's final resting place, and archaeological excavations have been taking place there for 20 years.

Read the rest

A Die Hard Christmas: The Illustrated Holiday Classic

A classic Christmas tale about family, love, and hunting down machine gun-wielding terrorists one by one, while shoeless, is finally being turned into a children’s book.

Written by comedian Doogie Horner and illustrated by JJ Harrison, A Die Hard Christmas: The Illustrated Holiday Classic is sure to bring the Christmas spirit to any child or adult interested in single handedly diffusing a hostage situation.

Delightful illustrations of John McClane jumping off the Nakatomi Plaza is complemented by the original plot of the 1988 film imitating the poem commonly referred to as “The Night Before Christmas.”

"The explosives were wired to the rooftop with car, in hopes that the hostages soon would be there," reads one of the 32 pages. Read the rest

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