Fred Armisen, a drummer, tells jokes that pretty much only a drummer would love and then ups the ante by going into guitarist humor. (Late Night with Conan O'Brien)

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Jimmy Fallon often features viewer submissions like mildly humorous CAPTCHAs, you know, "those squiggly words you have to type in before you buy tickets to concerts and stuff?" He seems very invested in humorously educating the public about CAPTCHAs. Read the rest

What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction?

A matzochist.

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Why do we have a Haggadah at Passover?

So we can Seder right words.

Share your own in the comments! Happy Passover! Read the rest

Kelsey Hightower's Nocode [github] fixes all the problems associated with modern web app development: "Write nothing; deploy nowhere."

Now that you have not done anything it's time to build your application:

 

Yep. That's it. You should see the following output:

 

A number of issues are open at github, mind you. Perhaps it wasn't ready for prime time. Read the rest

What does a Jedi use to open a PDF file?

Adobe-Wan Kenobi. Read the rest

Matt Shirley (better known via Instagram as mattsurelee) tries to make a whiteboard chart every day, with oft-delightful results. Read the rest

Miguel Marquez Outside chronicles Australian artist Michael Pederson's clever and cute installations of small artworks. Read the rest

Whenever I leave town I put the can on my kitchen counter.

Loftus Three Snakes in a Can - King Deluxe Mixed Nuts Prank via Amazon Read the rest

Anyone familiar with Star Wars or even the modern art of movie-making will know what's coming as soon as Rey says it, but it's a brilliantly effective joke. Read the rest

Emily Nussbaum at The New Yorker takes a deep dive into comedy's outsize role in Trump's victory. It's one of the best long reads about the pop culture that defined this election. To use Emily's comedy metaphor, with notable exceptions like "Delete your account," Hillary and her supporters didn't read the room and were heckled at nearly every turn. Read the rest

The Nerdwriter presents a fascinating analysis of why Louis CK's jokes are funny.

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Adapters for everything!

Previously: Already regretting assigning the new MacBook Pro review to Borges Read the rest

Jason Klamm from the Comedy on Vinyl podcast (previously) writes, "My comedy duo just set a world record with the world's smallest playable comedy album. People in A Position to Know made a custom turntable and plinth and we got it down to 1.5". It's a really dumb joke (set up on side A, punchline side B), but that was sort of the joy of having to put it together. Since Guinness doesn't want to accept a new world record by genre, they didn't include it, but there are no other contenders that any of us have been able to find." Read the rest

Do not compare sausages to horse penises in Kyrgyzstan, or you could end up spending five years in prison. One man who learned this the hard way is Michael Mcfeat, a Brit who works at a gold mine in Kyrgyzstan. Mcfeat recently posted to Facebook that a traditional Kyrgyzstanian horse sausage known as chuchuk, which was being served to his co-workers at a holiday party, was actually a "special delicacy, the horse's penis." His co-workers complained to authorities and he was arrested.

Mcfeat, who is currently being held by police, could face racial hatred charges punishable by a jail term of up to five years, it said. A British embassy representative confirmed that officials were in touch with both Centerra and the local authorities over the matter.

Following the uproar, the Briton deleted his remarks and posted an apology on Facebook, saying he had not meant to offend anyone.

He felt his presents.

(via r/jokes) Read the rest

Hurr durr. Read the rest

Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final frontier.

(Thanks, Cash Ashkinos!) Read the rest