Florida Man is back and he's packing a sword

There are few things that you can rely upon these days: the love of your friends and family; that our leaders lie to us in the name of profit and, constant like the North Star, that Florida will always be the weird shit capitol of North America.

From Canoe.com:

Curtis Miller, 54, was arrested Monday on second-degree attempted murder charges stemming from a July 15 incident where he allegedly brandished a samurai sword to threaten a jogger during a fight over a wheelbarrow the victim claimed he found in a trash pile.

The Broward County Sheriff’s Office released surveillance video which shows the suspect attacking the jogger, Todd Beavers, with a sword in Oakland Park, Fla., as he tried to pull the wheelbarrow away from him.

According to Canoe, Miller and Beavers both spotted the discarded wheelbarrow at the same time. Miller felt the cart should be his. So did Beaver. Miller didn't grab the cart. Beaver did. As you know, disagreements over trash found at the side of road can get out of hand pretty quickly. So, honestly, Beaver shouldn't have been surprised to find that, as he rolled the wheelbarrow home with him, Miller would give chase with a big frigging sword in hand. Beaver ran faster. Miller gave pursuit.

As the Broward County Sheriff’s Office mentioned, there's video of the incident. This would be it:

As you can see, Miller totally went all in attacking Beaver with a flurry of awkward slashes, because wheelbarrow. When it was pointed out to Miller that he was on camera, the swordsman buggered right off, giving Beaver the time to call the cops. Read the rest

Prehistoric poop reveals person ate entire venomous snake, including a fang

An archaeologist analyzing a pile of prehistoric human poop found the remains of an entire viper, including a fang. Researcher Elanor Sonderman was studying the indigenous people who, 1500 years ago, used a cave in Texas's Lower Pecos canyonlands as a shelter and bathroom. One way archaeologists learn about a long-gone civilization's diet and health is to dig into their coprolites (preserved feces). According to Sonderman, the snake wasn't cooked, descaled, deboned, or apparently defanged before it was eaten. WTF? One theory is that the eater was tripping on peyote. From National Geographic:

Though Sonderman’s research team proposes that the snake was eaten for “a distinctly ceremonial or ritualistic purpose,” there’s no way to tell for sure. “I wouldn't want anyone to say ‘We have a snake worshipping culture where people consume snakes ritualistically,’” says Sonderman. “That’s not what we’re trying to say. It’s only one example.”

What the fang does suggest, she says, is that it wasn’t unheard of for people to eat venomous snakes—but, given its uniqueness, it could have been consumed on a special occasion. Or not. Maybe it was just a dare—or a very dangerous dietary preference.

"1,500 years ago, someone ate a venomous snake whole. Why?" (National Geographic)

Read the rest