It’s a throw-back to the good ole days of aliens in the White House, Bat Boy and Sasquatch sightings in this week’s facts-be-damned tabloids.
A “bloodthirsty devil boy intent on murder has crossed over into the land of the living – again,” reports the Globe. This “demon child’s ghost is trying to murder me!” claims New York designer Adam Ellis, who admits that the “evil entity” came to him in a dream, but left his arm bruised. Because nobody has ever knocked their arm during the day and woken the next morning to find a bruise that seemed to magically appear overnight. The ghost, which only appears in his dreams, is “wreaking havoc in his home” – meaning that his cats jump over something invisible. “I sort of feel like I’m losing my mind,” says Ellis. So are the editors of the Globe, apparently.
“Selena Gomez Stole My Kidney!” claims a National Enquirer report claiming that patients on the transplant list are angered that the pop singer “used her celeb status to push her way to a life-saving kidney.” Except she didn’t jump any list – her close friend, actress Francia Raisa, donated a kidney to Gomez. Of course, no irate patients are identified, though the Enquirer attributes the story to “one righteously disgruntled angry person [who] posted on social media.” Right.
The Enquirer also brings us “The Psychic Picasso,” a Brazilian “psychic painter” who channels dead artists including Renoir, Picasso, Manet and Modigliani to paint masterpieces with his eyes tightly closed – except the art looks like the work of an art school drop-out. Read the rest