Prince Charles’ four love children, the Clintons’ corruption, and who needs Brad Pitt anyway, in this week’s dubious tabloids

Why bother breaking fresh news when you can refurbish old stories and pass them off as new?

Claiming to expose a “Chappaquiddick autopsy cover-up,” the National Enquirer cover screams: “Ted’s Lover Mary Jo Was Pregnant.” It’s a myth as old as the tragedy 49 years ago, and the Enquirer presents no evidence that Mary Jo Kopechne was even Ted Kennedy’s lover, let alone that she was pregnant. Furthermore, her coroner found no signs of a pregnancy, and there was no autopsy – at the request of her parents.

The Enquirer goes even further into the realm of fantasy, however, suggesting that “Kennedy deliberately drove off bridge to save run for the Presidency.” Because it makes perfect sense for a man who can afford a hit-man and who had aides skilled at dirty tricks to risk his own life driving his car off a bridge.

Not quite as antique, the Enquirer goes back to 1992 to break the news that “Pilot John Travolta cheats death in midair crisis.” It’s billed as an “Enquirer World Exclusive,” which might amuse the Orlando Sentinel in Florida, which first broke this story in 1995. Kudos to the Enquirer for finally telling the story, under the glorious banner: “FIRST TO KNOW.”

The Globe joins in the tabloid stroll down memory lane with its cover story about the heir to Britain’s throne: “Found! Charles’ 4 Secret Love Children!” The story, billed as the result of a “special two-year investigation,” lists four alleged illegitimate children of Prince Charles – two of whom are well known though highly questionable claimants; the other two are apparently new, but their allegations are exceedingly difficult to confirm. Read the rest

Melania’s agony, Meghan’s betrayal, and how love changed Prince Harry, in this week’s dubious celebrity magazines

“I’m tired of the lies,” says Melania Trump on the cover of this week’s Us magazine, below the headline: “Melania’s Agony.”

“Will she stay in the marriage?” asks the mag, following a week of humiliating revelations from the president’s alleged former mistresses.

It’s a fair question, but when you read the four-page article, you realize that there isn’t a single quote from Melania in the piece. Not even: “I’m tired of the lies.” If she is indeed “tired of the lies” (and who wouldn’t be in her position?) she may be even more weary of seeing fictional quotes attributed to her on the cover of magazines that claim to be a rung above the supermarket tabloids.

Us magazine’s insights into the Trump marriage come from a body language expert who interprets such signals as Melania descending from Air Force One in Florida on March 23 ahead of her husband. The message is clear, says the expert: “She made the decision that I’m not going to be last, and my son is not going to be last.” Or perhaps she was just desperate to get to a bathroom, or Trump asked her to go first, or she was helping son Barron down the stairway, or was feeling air-sick and wanted to get off the plane . . . there are a hundred reasons why she may have deplaned first. Just because any sane woman would be miserable if married to Donald Trump doesn’t give Us free reign to put words in her mouth. Read the rest

Hillary Clinton’s funeral plans, and how to be like Donald Trump, in this week’s dubious tabloids

The tabloids take a running jump before leaping to some pretty wild conclusions this week – one of the few things they do well.

The National Enquirer has a series of stories based on Olympic-level leaping. "Scientology horror – Suri saw it all.” No, she didn’t. Tom Cruise’s daughter saw nothing of the alleged “brainwashing,” “threats” and “bizarre rituals” at the pseudo-religion’s headquarters, because like her father, she would have been kept far from any unsightly scenes or behavior, and also because she was only a toddler at the time. I challenge any 18-month-old to say: “Daddy, that cult member has been working here for 16 hours suffering inhumane living and working conditions.” Not going to happen.

“Cops Quiz O.J. in Goldman Dad Murder for Hire Plot.” No, they haven’t quizzed O.J. about his supposed scheme to kill murder victim Ronald Goldman’s father, Fred. Even the Enquirer story claims that prison authorities have only interviewed the jailhouse snitch making the allegation that O.J. wanted to hire a hit man, and have not quizzed Simpson. And the Nevada Dept of Corrections denies any investigation whatsoever.

“Army Thanks Enquirer for Exposing Troops’ Crimes!” No, it didn’t. The Army thanked the Enquirer for agreeing to give its investigators photographs that allegedly show U.S. forces in Afghanistan abusing enemy corpses, but that’s not the same as thanking the rag for making as-yet-unproven allegations of what it terms “morally offensive crimes.” Because we all know how the Enquirer is a bastion of American morality.

“Proof Teddy Could Have Saved Mary Jo!” No, there’s no such proof. Read the rest

Michael Jackson is alive, Hillary is boozing, and a Buckingham Palace Sex Ring, in this week’s fact-challenged tabloids

When Hillary Clinton slipped on steps polished slick by centuries of wear while clad in smooth-soled sandals during her visit to India’s Jahaz Mahal last week, it was clear to every observer that her left shoe had simply lost traction as she almost fell.

“Brain Cancer Battle!” screams this week's Globe cover, with its own medical interpretation of her stumble from half-way across the world. But that’s not all. “She’s back on booze,” reports the magazine for good measure, deciding that her near-fall can best be explained by a combination of “a killer brain tumor” and her decision “to throw caution to the wind and enjoy herself – by drinking!” Why they don’t think she’s shooting 8-balls and sniffing glue is beyond me.

The award-winning Globe team of fact-checkers must be on vacation this week, because its exclusive on “Meghan Kidnap Terror!” reporting that “Special Forces Foil Plot to Snatch Harry’s Bride” turns out to have no plot and no terror: Miss Markle simply underwent training in a kidnap scenario, as have most of the British Royal Family, to better appreciate how to act in the event of a real kidnapping.

“Michael Jackson is alive!” claims a Globe report, which even the rag admits is “mind-boggling,” alongside an autopsy photo of the pop icon beneath the words: “Real or Fake?” . . . a caption which the magazine should seriously consider affixing to every story. Jackson’s family and estate are allegedly in on the hoax. So where is the singer if he’s still alive? Read the rest

Burt Reynolds’ skid marks, Prince Charles’ long-lost brother, and another Obama cover-up in this week’s tabloids

The British Royal Family is nothing more than a lurid soap opera to the tabloids, which this week come up with a few wild and fact-free plot twists of their own.

The tabloids have long indulged their salacious imaginations at the expense of the Royals, who are loathe to sue for libel, exposing them in recent months to stories of Prince Harry’s “real father” being at least two different men, Prince Charles plotting Princess Diana’s death, and Charles’ wife Camilla being locked up in a mental institution.

This week German TV repairman-turned-private eye Guenther Focke, aged 71, claims that he is Prince Charles’ long-lost brother, the result of his mother's World War II fling with Prince Phillip, according to the Globe, which includes the headline: “DNA Test Bombshell!” The bombshell? Focke is demanding a DNA test. The “exclusive interview” with Focke might be more gripping if he hadn’t been making this claim since 1995, and penned a book on the subject in 2008: Not In Her Majesty’s Service. In those past 22 years not one iota of evidence has confirmed Focke’s claims, but that’s good enough for the Globe to revive the ancient allegation.

“William & Kate Crowned King and Queen!” screams the cover of the National Enquirer, in a story that spectacularly ignores every known fact and law in the Royal line of succession. A “top secret meeting of government leaders” from Britain, Canada, Australia and New Zealand meets next month to force Queen Elizabeth to abdicate and “cast their votes in secret” for Prince William to take the throne, “and there’s nothing the Queen – desperate for Charles, her eldest son, to succeed her – can do.” Let’s be clear on this: The Queen has vowed never to abdicate; Charles is next in line for the throne; and there is nothing foreign government leaders can do to change the British line of succession, unless the British Parliament ever votes to abolish the monarchy. Read the rest

Prince Harry’s love child, Trump’s revenge, and Teri Hatcher homeless, in this week’s highly dubious tabloids

Truth bears little relation to this week’s big tabloid exclusives, which give fake news a bad name.

“Surrounded by traitors!” screams the National Enquirer cover. “Donald & Melania Fight Back!” No, they don’t. The official magazine of the Oval Office complains at length about the “backstabbers” attacking Trump, but then offers no instance of Trump or Melania hitting back. It’s just a paranoid rant that sounds like it could have been dictated by Trump himself.

“Prince Harry’s love child wrecks wedding!” proclaims the Globe cover, and it’s true that an illegitimate child could throw a spanner in the works of Harry and Meghan Markle’s coming nuptials. But this soufflé of a story cites an unnamed woman and her unnamed child and their unnamed lawyer supposedly writing privately to Kensington Palace. Despite the appalling lack of detail, the rag manages to include a photo of a red-haired four-year-old “chip off the old block,” without actually stating the obvious: that it’s a random red-haired child, and not Harry’s. Yet another story conjured out of thin air that somehow eluded the massed Royal press pack in London.

Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher is “homeless” and “living in van!” states the Enquirer, with photographic evidence of the actress sitting outside her vehicle sipping tea and reaching for a book by the beach in Malibu. The Enquirer tries to duck the minor detail that this “homeless” actress still owns her $7 million Los Angeles mansion, and maybe just enjoys hanging in her retro VW van at the beach for a few hours. Read the rest

Prince Harry’s Real Dad and Tom Cruise’s Sex Guru, in this week’s tabloids

“Oprah Answers Everything!” screams the cover of People magazine, which seems a slight exaggeration since she doesn’t explain why my heating system only breaks down on the coldest days of the year, or why Easter Islanders erected the Moai statues. But the article answers about as much as any story does in this week’s fact-challenged tabloids.

“This is Harry’s Real Dad!” proclaims the cover of the National Enquirer, revealing that former Guards officer Mark Dyer is Prince Harry’s biological father. This comes from the same publication that has been telling us for several years that former cavalry officer James Hewitt is "Harry’s Real Father,” as it did on August 12, 2016. As evidence for Dyer’s paternity, the Enquirer cites the fact that both are red-heads. By that logic, Lucille Ball must be Harry’s biological mother.

There’s as little sense in the Globe cover story: “FBI Raids Scientology Celebrity Center!” Alongside photos of Tom Cruise and John Travolta it adds: “Darkest secrets of Hollywood’s top megastars exposed!” You have to read almost to the end of the two-page exposé to learn that the FBI raid that seized 20,000 documents occurred in 1977 – years before Cruise, Travolta, Will Smith or Kirstie Alley joined the self-professed Church, so their darkest secrets are unlikely to be exposed just yet.

Cruise also appears in this week’s Enquirer in a story claiming that the Hollywood action hero has been seeking sex tips from British porn-star-turned-sex-guru Marcus London, who terms himself a “vagician” for his ability to pleasure women. Read the rest

Prince Charles’ love child, Jack Ruby’s faked murder, and Jennifer Aniston’s shattered world, in this week’s tabloids

The sleazy hook-ups, blazing rows and secret love child of Britain’s Royals, in this week’s tabloids

Decapitating Kim Kardashian, Paul McCartney drives his daughter insane, and cat litter beauty treatments, in this week’s tabloids

What do Jesus Christ, Herman Munster, TinkerBell and Elvis Presley have in common? Readers of this week’s Globe magazine can choose between life-like statuettes of all four, and I can’t help wondering which will be the biggest seller, and what that might tell us about those tabloid lovers.

The bronze Jesus lights up as a “radiant testimony to faith,” while Elvis sings, Herman Munster plays his TV show’s theme song, and TinkerBell . . . well, she just stands there looking cute, inviting you to “put your faith in pixie dust,” which is probably not dissimilar to what Jesus is offering.

Who are these tabloid readers, who are also met with ads offering a mirrored music box to present to “My Granddaughter,” a KISS decanter set, liver cleanse pills, a walk-in bathtub, compression socks and a no-collateral $35,000 loan? Is their target audience really aging diabetic grandmother glam rock fans with a nostalgia for ‘50s pop music and ‘60s TV?

The tabloids certainly continue to linger nostalgically over ancient stories, re-telling them as if new again. “Got Him!” screams the cover of the National Enquirer, now accusing actor Robert Wagner of the “premeditated murder” of wife Natalie Wood, and promising that “new evidence” means the actor “will die in jail.” No, he won’t. The “new evidence” is yet another rehash of old information, whipped up by the co-author of a 2011 book about Wood’s death. Don’t expect to see Wagner doing a perp walk any time soon.

O.J. Simpson has vowed to “decapitate” Kim Kardashian, claims the Enquirer, which will come as no surprise to its readers who last year were told that O.J. Read the rest

How a killer fled the FBI with a condom and hair remover, in this week’s tabloids

Tabloid stories usually have some vague, distant relationship with the smallest sliver of a fact, but some are such ludicrous fantasies that they deserve special attention.

“Inside Versace Killer’s Bag of Death!” is one such a gem. The National Enquirer tells us, in its trademark ungrammatical style, that the backpack belonging to the fashion designer’s killer Andrew Cunanan “holds key to shocking slaughter!” As the bag’s contents are “unveiled for the first time,” we learn of the “explosive evidence” inside “the killer’s sack that contained everything he needed for a quick escape” as the assassin “planned to flee the country.” Fighting back our excitement, barely able to breathe, we learn that Cunanan’s getaway kit comprised “a brochure for a hotel on Catalina Island, Calif., a bottle of Nair hair remover, a lubricated condom and an X-Acto knife without the blade.”

No passport (which the Enquirer fails to mention was found near the crime scene inside a red Chevy truck Cunanan had stolen.) No giant wad of cash. And no weapon (though perhaps a bladeless X-Acto knife could be used to poke people pretty hard). An empty envelope, and a receipt for sliced meat, cheese and crackers, completed Cunanan’s supposed “bag of death.” One can see how the Enquirer believes that Cunanan planned to flee the country, because he had a brochure for an island in the Pacific (albeit 26 miles off the coast from Los Angeles). But the clincher is the Bottle of Nair: if Cunanan could use depilatory cream to make unsightly hair disappear, it’s a short step to making himself disappear. Read the rest

Celebrity UFO sightings, secret witnesses, and cold cases solved in this week’s tabloids

What’s old is new again in this week’s tabloids, which plunder the past for today’s headlines.

Child pageant queen JonBenet Ramsey was murdered in 1996, but the National Enquirer claims that its "investigation finally solves” the slaying. The magazine, which has in the past alternately blamed JonBenet’s mother, father, brother, and various strangers for the slaying, insists it has now “cracked the cold case after 21 years,” under the headline: “This Evil Monster Murdered JonBenet.”

The killer? A now-dead neighbor who was thoroughly scrutinized by police during their investigation, and dismissed as a suspect. Why is Glenn Meyer now fingered as the murderer? Because his ex-wife, Charlotte Hey, claims: “When I asked him if he murdered her, he would just smile at me. He wouldn’t deny it.” Sounds like a confession to me.

“Queen Survives Assassin’s Bullet!” screams the Globe cover, failing to mention that the incident – alleged by a former New Zealand police officer – occurred 36 years ago, in 1981. British police are reportedly stepping up security, which seems appropriate 36 years after the event.

Equally ancient is the National Examiner cover story claiming to finally solve the Natalie Wood “murder.” The actress drowned in 1981, and the tabloids have spent decades trying – and failing – to pin the blame on her husband, actor Robert Wagner. The Examiner claims that “new testimony could put Wagner away!” But we’ve seen this supposedly new evidence before. Marilyn Wayne, who allegedly heard a woman’s voice shouting: “Help me, I’m drowning!” on the night of Wood’s death, is not a “secret witness” as the Examiner claims. Read the rest

A Royal werewolf, embattled Clintons, and vampires coming, in this week’s tabloids

Prince Charles fears he’s becoming a werewolf, the KGB tried to kill Lee Harvey Oswald, and Meryl Streep is going blind, according to this week’s reality-challenged tabloids.

It’s the rare week when the Trump-loving tabloids don’t indulge in paeans of praise for the president, but they still gleefully hurl incendiary allegations at the Clintons.

The feds’ probe into the Clinton Foundation “explodes,” claims the Globe cover, with the “secret arrest” of Bill Clinton's brother Roger. Is Roger Clinton’s 2016 DUI arrest truly “secret” when it was reported on at the time by The Washington Post, New York Daily News, Los Angeles Times, TMZ . . and the National Enquirer?

Roger was sentenced to two days in jail, ordered to take an alcohol education program, and given three years probation. Yet the Globe claims that federal prosecutors are now threatening to revoke Roger Clinton’s probation if he doesn’t “turn stool pigeon and spill whatever he knows about any illegal actions” by the Clintons. Can somebody please explain to the Globe that the feds can’t revoke Roger Clinton's probation for saying he knows nothing about his brother’s charity. And why would he know anything anyway? Sheer wishful thinking.

The National Enquirer cover promises “never-before-seen crime scene photos inside California’s house of horrors!” The headline warns readers of a “chilling look inside putrid hellhole.” And what do the photos show? A scattering of brightly colored trash bags strewn across the family’s front yard (outside, not inside the “putrid hellhole”) and a shot taken through a glass door revealing an unremarkable table and some shelves. Read the rest

Clintons confess, Obama to blame, and Trump triumphs in this week’s tabloids

The White House Press Office in Exile, otherwise known as the tabloids, is in full Trump-boosting, Clinton-bashing, Obama-blaming mode this week.

The president, who has previously lamented the injustice of the National Enquirer being deprived of the Pulitzer Prize it so richly deserves, should be pleased with the rag’s immolation of Michael Wolff’s political bestseller Fire and Fury, with a cover headline branding it a “Book of Lies!”

“Staffers think prez is dumb. FALSE!” screams the Enquirer's front page. “His ego is out of control. FALSE! He’s hated by his own family. FALSE!”

Not satisfied with demolishing Wolff’s reporting, the Enquirer claims that the book is part of an attack on Trump “orchestrated by Puppet Master-in-Chief Barack Obama!” Wolff is “part of the Obama hit team” chosen by America's last president to undermine Trump, claims the magazine. And to prove its point, the Enquirer sent audio and video tapes of Wolff for stress analysis, and concluded “Michael Wolff is lying throughout.” Well, you can’t argue with science.

Sister publication the Globe dances like it’s 2016 all over again, with its cover story about Bill and Hillary Clinton's alleged "$365 million bribery scandal” at the Clinton Foundation under the headline: "We’re Guilty!" Inside, the story reveals: “Crooked Clintons Confess!"

But it’s not just Bill & Hill freely admitting their life of lies – “Trump nails Clinton confession,” the Globe crows. Did Trump grill the Clintons in interrogation rooms under bright lights? Hardly.

As the FBI mounts a new probe into possible pay-to-play politics by the Clintons and their Foundation, the Globe claims that the Clintons sought a plea deal to make the whole ugly business go away – and that Trump ordered the Justice Department to make no sweetheart deals, “making good on his promise to lock up the crooked Clintons.”

Two quick points: (1) discussing a plea deal is far from a confession, and (2) since the probe is only days old it’s unlikely that the Clintons would consider a plea deal before knowing whether the investigation has even dug up any incriminating evidence. Read the rest

World War III, Trump, and proof Princess Diana was murdered, in this week’s tabloids

It’s a new year, but it’s sex, fat-shaming and politics as usual in this week’s tabloids.

Meghan Markle is a “shameless sexpot,” rages the National Enquirer, positively shocked – shocked, I tell you – that Prince Harry’s betrothed wore a “daring sheer top” in official photographs. The hussy. An allegedly “stunned” Queen has decreed a makeover, and “called in tutors to spend several hours a day teaching Meghan how to be a real-life Princess.” Sounds like some reporters have been watching too many reruns of The Princess Diaries.

Cameron Diaz is pregnant with a “baby miracle” claims the Enquirer, with photographic proof of her baby bump. Oh, no she isn’t, reports Us magazine, using the same set of photos to demonstrate “Cameron’s heartbreak” at not getting pregnant after her “secret IVF struggle.”

The Globe offers “New Proof Diana Was Murdered!” This word, “proof” – I do not think it means what you think it means. A paramedic who helped transfer the Princess from her wrecked car into an ambulance says “. . . when she was put in the ambulance she was alive – and I expected her to live.” Given the inability of even the best-trained doctor to assess internal injuries, these words of French firefighter Sgt. Xavier Gourmelon hardly count as proof of anything, except his optimism in the face of a horrific car crash.

The tabloids continue aspiring to be a sexed-up version of The Washington Post with further forays into politics. “What Trump’s Tax Cut Means For You!” screams the Globe cover, seemingly oblivious that its low-paid working class demographic are those being screwed the hardest by the president’s gift to America’s top one per cent. Read the rest

The Most Annoying People of 2017, in this week’s tabloids

It’s rare, but once in a while the tabloids just get a story right. While Us magazine bores us with the “most fascinating people of 2017” (Melania Trump? Meghan Markle?) and the National Enquirer tells us “What shocked and rocked in 2017” (branding Hollywood’s sex harassment scandals “Pervnado"), it is the Globe that hits the pitch-perfect end-of-year note with its “50 Most Annoying People of 2017.”

Its catalogue of “whiners, losers and lamebrains” is hard to argue with: Kim Kardashian, Bill O’Reilly, Justin Bieber, Madonna, Harvey Weinstein, Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow . . . the list goes on. Caitlyn Jenner, Megyn Kelly, Anthony Scaramucci, Johnny Depp . . . there’s ten pages of this, and I’ll bet they could have filled the entire magazine with names if they wanted to.

Yet the Globe inexplicably omits the year's unquestionably most annoying person: Donald Trump. It’s another week when the Trump-toadying tabloids become the mouthpiece of the White House, with highly debatable information that appears spoon-fed from the West Wing.

“Clintons Rigged Trump Investigation!” screams the grammatically-challenged cover of the Enquirer, which claims to have exposed “Bill & Hillary’s dirty tricks” in loading special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigative team with Clinton supporters. But while Mueller’s law firm WilmerHale indeed made contributions to Democrats as the Enquirer alleges, it also made substantial contributions to Republicans, in fact donating almost twice as much to Republicans from 1996 to 2002, though favoring Democrats in recent years.

Prince Harry’s betrothed Meghan Markle’s father Tom “won’t live to see wedding,” predicts the Enquirer, based solely on a photo that shows the 73-year-old appearing rather portly. Read the rest

JFK’s killer, Michael Jackson’s ghost, and Meghan Markle’s halibut, in this week’s tabloids

“This Cop Killed Kennedy!” screams the National Enquirer cover, boasting a photo of a gun-wielding assassin. “Killer posed as Dallas cop,” says the report. His real job? A Dallas cop. Note to Enquirer: If you’re a real cop, you can’t really pose as one.

British secret agents are erasing Royal bride-to-be Meghan Markle’s “wild past,” claims the Enquirer, aiming to “bury scandals before the wedding.”

What scandals? As a student at Northwestern University, Markle “got a fake ID to go drinking,” and gained 15 pounds “binge eating,” the Enquirer reveals. Apparently an unidentified British man was asking questions of Markle’s old friends. I don’t suppose that could be what’s known in the spy trade as a “British tabloid reporter”?

Michael Jackson is haunting Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban’s New York home, reports the Enquirer. After all, if you had an after-life, who wouldn’t want to be a spirit in Nicole and Keith’s home? It sounds like the culmination of Jackson's lifelong ambition to be as white as a ghost. His only disappointment: the couple have two young girls, not boys.

The Enquirer digs into “sleazy” NBC host Matt Lauer’s sex harassment scandal, warning: “It’s worse than you think!” But how does the Enquirer know what I think? What if I’m thinking: bestiality? Is it really worse than that?

America’s C-List actress-turned-Royal bride-to-be Meghan Markle gets the full-court press from this week’s tabloids. “Camilla Attacks Harry’s Bride!” yells the Globe cover, claiming that Prince Charles’ “evil . . . Read the rest

Trump hiding DC sex scandals, Bill & Hillary’s $350m divorce, and ”you can fly,” in this week’s tabloids

Donald Trump deliberately hides the sex scandals and indiscretions of Washington, D.C. lawmakers, keeping the shameful information as potential blackmail material, reveals the National Enquirer this week. The president has amassed Nixon-style “dirt files containing damaging information on roguish elected officials, top military officials, top military officers and high-level bureaucrats,” claims the report. Trump’s “little black book” is “filled with the dirty sex secrets of top politicos – and he’s not afraid to use it.”

It’s an extraordinarily damning report from the Enquirer, which has been one of Trump’s staunchest supporters, fed inside information from the White House, and whose reporting has been lavishly praised by Trump.

Of course, they don’t openly call him a “blackmailer” who is immorally keeping sex scandals secret to manipulate powerful lawmakers, though that’s clearly what the story suggests. Rather, the Enquirer seems to be praising Trump for having power over sleazy politicians. Sure sounds like he’s protecting scumbags with a view to blackmail, however.

Pregnant Princess Kate “takes off her ring in war with William,” reports the Globe, claiming that the British royal is battling her husband over potential kidnap threats to their children. Why else would a pregnant woman take off her engagement ring? With all the rent-a-quote doctors, psychologists, private eyes and voice-stress analysts at their disposal, could the Globe not find a physician to explain that a pregnant woman’s hands can swell and she may need to remove rings when they feel too tight?

No such problems for this week’s thin brigade, those unfortunates targeted by the Enquirer Guess Your Weight team who this week attack 93 lb “skeletal” Sharknado star Tara Reid, allegedly so thin she is "facing jaws of death" (Sharknado! Read the rest

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