At 41 seconds, you can hear someone call this fellow a "dumbass."

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James Meyers of Concord, North Carolina was driving his daughter to school when police pulled him over for a broken brake light. The police officer looked up Meyers' information and told Meyers he was under arrest for failing to return a VHS copy of Freddy Got Fingered that he'd rented from a now-closed video store in 2002. Meyers was handcuffed and formally charged with failure to return rental property, a misdemeanor punishable by a fine of up to $200.

From WSOC TV:

Meyers said the officers were very polite and professional. They let him take his daughter to school and go to work as long as he promised to turn himself into the police department later that day.

Meyers said he thought everything would get straightened out at the department. He was surprised when officers arrested him and then took him to the magistrate’s office.

“For the first time I got put in handcuffs,” said Meyers.

Meyers said he vaguely remembers renting the particular movie from the family-owned video store in Kannapolis.

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From a March 19, 2016 New York Times article:

One of the terrorists pulled out a laptop, propping it open against the wall, said the 40-year-old woman. When the laptop powered on, she saw a line of gibberish across the screen: “It was bizarre — he was looking at a bunch of lines, like lines of code. There was no image, no Internet,” she said. Her description matches the look of certain encryption software, which ISIS claims to have used during the Paris attacks.

To summarize, if you see something on someone's computer screen that fits the description below, the person with the computer could be an ISIS terrorist!

It looks like "a line of gibberish across the screen." It's "a bunch of lines, like lines of code." There's "no image." There's "no Internet."

It's good to know the spirit of Judith Miller lives on at the Times!

The NYT story on the Paris attackers makes just as much (if not more) sense if you replace "encryption" with "magic" pic.twitter.com/1ATUU1fzRM

— Christopher Soghoian (@csoghoian) March 20, 2016

How the fuck has @nytimes not edited this utter shit? pic.twitter.com/C884P1r1p7

— Internet of Shit (@internetofshit) March 21, 2016

@internetofshit @nytimes Look im using encryption software! pic.twitter.com/RmnAGMEgGH

— Rob (@robatcisco) March 21, 2016

@internetofshit @nytimes Encryption for some people: pic.twitter.com/zKJhgFS7JS

— Miguel Esquirol (@miguelesquirol) March 21, 2016

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Does it sound like fun to be stopped by police for doing a good deed so they can issue you a scary looking $10 off coupon for shitty pizza? And also be recorded on video? Then head over to Denver and start behaving like a model citizen for your reward.

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The fine folks at Night Flight implore you to "review this 1994 VHS tape hosted by be-sweatered cop/pastor Gordon Coulter, and Eric Pryor, a mulleted former Satanist, current Christian, who provide helpful information about satanism, including how to recognize evidence that may be found at crime scenes by satanists."

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An 11-year-old boy was caught with a lighter and a leaf in his school backpack. Three separate tests on the leaf have come back negative for marijuana, so the school did the sensible thing and suspended the boy for a year. Read the rest

A 9-year-old boy was suspended from his Texas school for telling a classmate that he could make him disappear with his Tolkien invisibility ring.

“I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to threaten his friend’s existence,” the boy's father later wrote in an email. "If he did, I'm sure he'd bring him right back."

School principal Roxanne Greer will not discuss the matter with the media.

The boy was suspended two other times this year:

...for referring to a classmate as black and bringing his favorite book to school: The Big Book of Knowledge.

“He loves that book. They were studying the solar system and he took it to school. He thought his teacher would be impressed,” Steward said.

But the teacher learned the popular children’s encyclopedia had a section on pregnancy, depicting a pregnant woman in an illustration, he explained.

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"The Bayside Middle School student, Adrionna Harris, said she took a razor blade away from another student because he was using it to cut himself. She threw the blade away and told school officials. Then she was suspended for 10 days, with a recommendation for expulsion." - Hit & Run Read the rest

[Video Link] "My daugh-ter!" (Via Digg) Read the rest

In the interest of safety, a preschool is insisting that a deaf boy named Hunter change his name at school so people don't accidentally shoot and kill someone with their finger when they use sign language to say his name.

Hunter Spanjer says his name with a certain special hand gesture, but at just three and a half years old, he may have to change it.

"He's deaf, and his name sign, they say, is a violation of their weapons policy," explained Hunter's father, Brian Spanjer.

Grand Island's "Weapons in Schools" Board Policy 8470 forbids "any instrument...that looks like a weapon," But a three year-old's hands?

Better safe than sorry!

Grand Island Preschooler Asked to Change the Sign for His Name in School (Via The Agitator) Read the rest