Actually, there are a lot of things men shouldn’t say to women in bed. But it’s this innocent-sounding statement that wounds us most:
“That’s never happened before.”
Sooner or later, “it” – erectile dysfunction – happens to pretty much every sexually active male on the planet. For one reason or another, you just aren’t feeling it.
If erectile dysfunction is long-term, it’s time to see a doctor. But short-term erectile dysfunction (short-term ED), while potentially embarrassing, isn’t serious. In fact, it is considered normal for a man to have trouble getting or maintaining an erection as much as 20 percent of the time.
Numerous factors can lead to short-term ED, including stress, anxiety, fatigue, alcohol or medications.
But still… you’re embarrassed. You don’t want your partner to think she’s chosen a lemon. So you say those four or five innocent-sounding little words: “That’s never happened before.”
Only here’s what we hear:
“I’ve been able to get it up for every other woman I’ve been with. You’re the first woman I haven’t been able to perform with.”
In other words, it’s us, not you.
Even if it is, however, we don’t need to hear it. Telling us just makes you a total dick.
So, how can you express to us what’s going on in way that lets us know it’s not something we did, or worse, who we are?
The key is to examine the situation honestly and try to determine what’s going on.
Are you tired, stressed or anxious? We understand that. Read the rest