It's a truth universally acknowledged that McDonald's McFlurry ice cream machines are broken more often than not. As of this very writing, there's about a 15 percent failure rate across the entire United States, according to McBroken.

In 2023, the folks at iFixit tried to figure out the source of the problem—which turned out to largely be an issue of copyright law:

Did you know that when an ice cream machine is "broken," it's often just software getting in the way?

Earlier this week Donald Trump made a big to-do about "working" at McDonald's. Then, as coincidence would have it, a deadly outbreak of E. coli related to the fast-food restaurant hit the news. And the cases — from 49 across 10 states earlier this week to 75 across 13 states as of today (with 22 people hospitalized) — are still climbing. — Read the rest

As the ol' saying goes, "Everything Trump touches dies." (It's also the name of a book by former GOP strategist Rick Wilson.) And so it comes as no surprise that Yelp had to kill the comments for the McDonald's in Pennsylvania after Ronald McDonald Trump pulled his stunt as a fast-food worker. — Read the rest

Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz points out that Donald Trump's fake McDonald's Day reveals Trump as is a really creepy clown.

Gov. Walz just has fun with the news of Trump operating the fryolator at a closed McDonald's. The right's obsession with Kamala Harris's college-year summer job makes their inability to find real complaints obvious, but rather than realizing this, Trump's team gave us a fatter orange Grimace. — Read the rest

Quarter Pounders served in McDonald's restaurants were the reported source of an E. Coli outbreak that has killed one diner, and Reuters now reports that dozens more are sick across the U.S. In Colorado alone 26 people are ill after eating them, according to the Centers for Disease Control. — Read the rest

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced a food safety alert for E.Coli after one person was killed and ten others hospitalized after eating McDonald's Quarter Pounders. Nearly 50 others reported illnesses across ten states, with most cases in Colorado and Nebraska. — Read the rest

After staging a campaign event at a closed McDonald's, Donald Trump now holds a "french fry certification pin."

This is a historically stupid attempt to make believe Trump gives a shit about anyone who works in any service industry. It demonstrates his lack of competence as a human and reminds you he is not a dude you'd leave alone near a fry-o-later. — Read the rest

Patrick McDonnell creates the daily comic strip "Mutts," about Earl the dog, and Mooch the cat, and their homes and neighborhood. The comic's storylines and jokes are full of charm and delight, and because McDonnell is such a fantastic, expressive artist, every line he draws is full of charm and delight. — Read the rest

Fast food giant McDonald's reported its first fall in sales since the Covid pandemic, falling short of growth estimates and reminding everyone that there's really no need to pay exorbitant prices for some of the worst food made available to mankind. — Read the rest

A 22-year-old McDonald's employee in Florida was none too pleased with a drive-thru customer's complaint, so she responded the American way and whipped out her gun. She then went outside and pulled the trigger.

Fortunately, although her gunfire hit their car, it missed the people inside. — Read the rest

If the Golden Arches look a little more droopy in Europe today, there's a good reason. AP reports that the EU General Court took away McDonald's claim to the Big Mac trademark, siding with Irish competitor Supermac's after a lengthy legal battle. — Read the rest

I'm not loving this. A customer of a McDonald's restaurant in Booval, Australia spotted an employee drying a wet mop under the heat lamp above the french fry station.

I hope she didn't wring it out into the fry oil.

"I was just standing waiting for my order when I looked over and heard a staff member say; 'I don't think you should be doing that as it could be a safety issue as it can catch on fire'," the customer who recorded the moment told Yahoo! — Read the rest

McDonald's famous tagline "You deserve a break today," apparently doesn't apply to its restaurants in Saskatoon. According to 18-year-old Mason Prima, all he wanted was to cash in his reward points for a freebie meal at the drive-in window, but ended up with a $580 fine to a Happy Meal hating cop instead. — Read the rest

SNL's Norm MacDonald did a fantastic job of covering the spectacle of the OJ Simpson trial.

As the anchor of Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update, Norm MacDonald relentlessly attacked OJ Simpson. Eventually, Don Ohlmeyer, a good friend of Simpson, fired MacDonald, reputedly as a result of these jokes:

Previously: The end of an era: O.J. — Read the rest

It's hot. The windows are all down, the AC barely works, it's 110˚F in the shade and 94% humidity. Everything is terrible and you still have another 6 hours of driving ahead of you. This stretch of highway, there's nothing but mini malls and gas station exits. — Read the rest

Behold the Double Big Mac, available from a McDonald's near you and only until the deep state's objective is met. The post-Supersize Me era of restraint is over: plug those arteries!

The Double Big Mac, according to the McDonald's mobile app, has 780 calories with 48 grams of fat—and that, of course, doesn't include the half-gallon of coke you'll wash it down with or the fries. — Read the rest

This McDonald's bathroom in Tokyo cleans your phone as well. Phones can get quite germy, especially when living in a big city where your phone is bound to get some grime on it. It's called WOSH, created by a company named WOTA.  — Read the rest

Dwayne Waden, 57, a pastor in High Point, North Carolina, headed to MacDonalds when his wife complained she was being disrespected by her colleagues there. Waden grabbed a cook's head and tried to shove him into a deep fryer, according to police, and now faces an assault charge. — Read the rest

McDonalds has retired most of its marketing cast, clearly aimed at children as it was, but occasionally brings the Hamburglar out of retirement to pitch healthy or premium menu options. Now invariably cute or sexy, the latest incarnation is the carb criminal's first cartoon-style outing in twenty years. — Read the rest

Today, McDonald's CEO Chris Kempczinsk announced the pilot launch of CosMc's, a coffeeshop that they seem to think could compete with Starbucks.

"What would happen if a McDonald's character from the 1980s that was part alien, part surfer, part robot — what would happen if this character were to open a restaurant in 2023?" — Read the rest