One early morning last month, Salt Lake City police received reports of a "reckless driver" on the road from Clearfield, Utah to Ogden. The suspect turned out to be a 7-year-old boy. Apparently, the young fellow had jumped into the mother's car and, with his younger sister riding shotgun, took off for McDonald's in a quest for Happy Meals. — Read the rest

Palm Bay, Florida police arrested Ronald McDonald for trespassing at a shopping plaza where he had been banned from visiting. McDonald, also known as "Wicked Jesus" and Christopher Wayne Marlowe, age 40, was allegedly yelling and cursing when police arrived in response to complaints about his behavior. — Read the rest

Journalist Gary He has authored McAtlas: A Global Guide to the Golden Arches, a huge, gorgeous book about the amazing array of different forms and menus of McDonald's restaurants around the world.

If there's one thing McDonald's is known for among its American customers, it's its uniformity. — Read the rest

Google had to shut down reviews for a McDonald's in Pennsylvania after a "rat" in the kitchen "snitched" on the New York City shooting suspect who killed UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson.

After five days on the run, 26-year-old Luigi Mangione was taking a deserved break at McDonald's Altoona location yesterday when he was arrested for murder. — Read the rest

In today's episode of "Late Stage Capitalism Gets Weirder," McDonald's Australia has decided that what their menu really needed was a tie-in with everyone's favorite Korean series about desperate people murdering each other for cash.

"You've seen Squid Game on Netflix, now experience it at Macca's," chirps Amanda Nakad, Marketing Director for McDonald's Australia, blissfully unbothered by the show's critique of wealth inequality and corporate exploitation. — Read the rest

The New York Police Department is praising themselves for the work of a McDonald's employee who gave them a break today.

Failing to keep the cool side cool, a McDonald's employee's tip, not all this puffery by New York's finest, caught the suspect in the United Health Care CEO slaying. — Read the rest

A misunderstanding involving a Lyft ride in Florida led a McDonald's customer to threaten three ride-share passengers with a gun — but she accidentally shot her daughter instead.

The 32-year-old mom allegedly thought someone was pointing at her rather than at the Lyft car, which had just arrived. — Read the rest

It's a truth universally acknowledged that McDonald's McFlurry ice cream machines are broken more often than not. As of this very writing, there's about a 15 percent failure rate across the entire United States, according to McBroken.

In 2023, the folks at iFixit tried to figure out the source of the problem—which turned out to largely be an issue of copyright law:

Did you know that when an ice cream machine is "broken," it's often just software getting in the way?

Earlier this week Donald Trump made a big to-do about "working" at McDonald's. Then, as coincidence would have it, a deadly outbreak of E. coli related to the fast-food restaurant hit the news. And the cases — from 49 across 10 states earlier this week to 75 across 13 states as of today (with 22 people hospitalized) — are still climbing. — Read the rest

As the ol' saying goes, "Everything Trump touches dies." (It's also the name of a book by former GOP strategist Rick Wilson.) And so it comes as no surprise that Yelp had to kill the comments for the McDonald's in Pennsylvania after Ronald McDonald Trump pulled his stunt as a fast-food worker. — Read the rest

Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz points out that Donald Trump's fake McDonald's Day reveals Trump as is a really creepy clown.

Gov. Walz just has fun with the news of Trump operating the fryolator at a closed McDonald's. The right's obsession with Kamala Harris's college-year summer job makes their inability to find real complaints obvious, but rather than realizing this, Trump's team gave us a fatter orange Grimace. — Read the rest

Quarter Pounders served in McDonald's restaurants were the reported source of an E. Coli outbreak that has killed one diner, and Reuters now reports that dozens more are sick across the U.S. In Colorado alone 26 people are ill after eating them, according to the Centers for Disease Control. — Read the rest

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced a food safety alert for E.Coli after one person was killed and ten others hospitalized after eating McDonald's Quarter Pounders. Nearly 50 others reported illnesses across ten states, with most cases in Colorado and Nebraska. — Read the rest

After staging a campaign event at a closed McDonald's, Donald Trump now holds a "french fry certification pin."

This is a historically stupid attempt to make believe Trump gives a shit about anyone who works in any service industry. It demonstrates his lack of competence as a human and reminds you he is not a dude you'd leave alone near a fry-o-later. — Read the rest

Patrick McDonnell creates the daily comic strip "Mutts," about Earl the dog, and Mooch the cat, and their homes and neighborhood. The comic's storylines and jokes are full of charm and delight, and because McDonnell is such a fantastic, expressive artist, every line he draws is full of charm and delight. — Read the rest

Fast food giant McDonald's reported its first fall in sales since the Covid pandemic, falling short of growth estimates and reminding everyone that there's really no need to pay exorbitant prices for some of the worst food made available to mankind. — Read the rest

A 22-year-old McDonald's employee in Florida was none too pleased with a drive-thru customer's complaint, so she responded the American way and whipped out her gun. She then went outside and pulled the trigger.

Fortunately, although her gunfire hit their car, it missed the people inside. — Read the rest

If the Golden Arches look a little more droopy in Europe today, there's a good reason. AP reports that the EU General Court took away McDonald's claim to the Big Mac trademark, siding with Irish competitor Supermac's after a lengthy legal battle. — Read the rest

I'm not loving this. A customer of a McDonald's restaurant in Booval, Australia spotted an employee drying a wet mop under the heat lamp above the french fry station.

I hope she didn't wring it out into the fry oil.

"I was just standing waiting for my order when I looked over and heard a staff member say; 'I don't think you should be doing that as it could be a safety issue as it can catch on fire'," the customer who recorded the moment told Yahoo! — Read the rest

McDonald's famous tagline "You deserve a break today," apparently doesn't apply to its restaurants in Saskatoon. According to 18-year-old Mason Prima, all he wanted was to cash in his reward points for a freebie meal at the drive-in window, but ended up with a $580 fine to a Happy Meal hating cop instead. — Read the rest