Burglar left behind notebook with list of homes to burglarize. He got busted.

In Tennessee, a well-organized but not super smart burglary suspect was busted by the fuzz when he dropped his notebook with a list of homes he planned to burglarize. Read the rest

Florida man arrested for shoplifting, cute puppy accomplice also in custody

Florida Man strikes again. The dog is okay and is being cared for while his owner is booked into jail.

In Hillsborough County, Florida, the Sheriff’s Office says a gentleman named Logan Wilson admitted to shoplifting $259 worth of items from Bass Pro Shops.

Deputies say he was arrested during a traffic stop after he was seen departing the store with stolen goods.

According to a Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office Facebook post, volunteers there will take care of him until his owner bonds out of jail, but the shelter’s website has the puppy listed as “pre-adoptable.”

PHOTO: Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office.

THE CUTEST ACCOMPLICE: The owner of this small puppy was caught shoplifting at an area Bass Pro Shops with the puppy in hand! 🐾

Our District 5 Street Crimes Unit arrested the person for Petit Theft and possession of meth. #TeamHCSO deputies took great care of the puppy before handing him over to Hillsborough County Animal Services who will care for him until his owner is released from jail.

More: Canine accomplice taken into custody during shoplifting arrest [wtsp.com] Read the rest

Florida man swiped Wisconsin woman's debit card data to buy pizza, cops say

A gentleman in Florida man is accused of using a Wisconsin woman's debit card information to purchase $68 worth of Little Caesar's pizza. Read the rest

‘I’m the Orlando Easter Bunny, Google it' — Florida man arrested after hit-and-run

‘I’m the Orlando Easter Bunny, Google it’

Thief stuffed 30 bags of frozen shrimp in his pants, say police

Ah, Riverside, California. Don't ever change. Read the rest

Gentleman arrested at airport with 80 pounds of marijuana disguised as holiday gifts

He was only dreaming of a green Christmas, you guys. Read the rest

Gentleman arrested after calling police 3 times to confess

In Georgia, a man was arrested after he called the sheriff's office to confess -- three separate times. Read the rest

Arizona man rescued and arrested after getting stuck in chimney that did not belong to him

His name was not Santa Claus.

Alaska man arrested for $400,000 of heroin and meth stuffed in rotten goat guts

Maybe not the best place to hide your stash. Read the rest

Massachusetts man smuggled salamanders and turtles into U.S., authorities say

A man from Worcester, Massachusetts was indicted by a federal grand jury Wednesday with allegedly smuggling salamanders and turtles into the United States. Read the rest

How (not) to avoid a drunk driving conviction with one weird trick

Man used electric shopping cart to get from one bar to another

Hurricane Dorian hits Charleston

And this dude finally got his moment. Read the rest

Florida raccoon freed from vending machine

The sheriff in Volusia County, Fla., reports that "a gentlemen was apprehended today while committing a burglary of a vending machine at Pine Ridge High School" in Deltona.

Adds the AP:

...spokesman Andrew Gant says a deputy stationed at Pine Ridge High School was notified of the trapped raccoon Wednesday and called animal control for assistance. A vending machine operator was also contacted to unlock the door. They rolled the vending machine to an open area of the school and after about two hours the raccoon was set free.

The sheriff's Facebook posting has a lot of boomer energy in the comments.

Read the rest

Watch CNN host Chris Cuomo threaten man who compared him to fictional mafia moron Fredo Corleone

Fredo Corleone is the childish, easily-led brother from The Godfather whose weakness and insecurity lead him to betray his family. Chris Cuomo is the childish, easily-led CNN anchor whose weakness and insecurity lead him to getting into public fights with people who call him Fredo.

"Punk-ass bitches from the right call me Fredo!" Cuomo says in this video clip, which presumably starts after he was thusly named by someone. "My name is Chris Cuomo! I'm an anchor on CNN. Fredo is from The Godfather. He's the weak brother. They use it as an Italian aspersion. Any of you Italian? It's a fuckin insult to your people. It's an insult to your fuckin people. It's like the N-word for us. Is that a cool fuckin thing?"

"You're a much more reasonable guy in person than you seem on television," says the man who called him Fredo.

"You wanna play, we'll fuckin play. If you've got something to say about what I do on television then say it."

"Hey man, listen, I don't have a problem"

"Well you're gonna have a big fuckin problem. Don't fucking insult me. You call me Fredo, I'll call you punk bitch, you like that? You want that to be your nickname?"

"I didn't call you that."

"You called me Fredo! You know my name's not fuckin Fredo! You did not think my name's Fredo, don't be a fuckin liar. Stand up like a man. Own it, own what you said. You're gonnna have a fuckin problem. Read the rest

Russian man crashes armored personnel carrier into shop to steal booze

In northern Russia, a man who really wanted some booze drove an armored personnel carrier through a shop window, crashing into the store, then exited his vehicle and climbed through the wreckage to steal a bottle of wine. I know this will shock you, but he was drunk. Read the rest

Idiot smashing store window gets hit with instant karma

Wait for it. Read the rest

Shirtless gentleman arrested for shooting corncobs at neighbor's home with potato gun

An intoxicated and shirtless man in Westerly, RI opened fire on his neighbor's home using corncobs he shot with his homemade PVC potato gun. Drunk Rhode Island Man, while we do not condone your actions, we salute you for Making America Potato Gun Again. Read the rest

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