In northern Russia, a man who really wanted some booze drove an armored personnel carrier through a shop window, crashing into the store, then exited his vehicle and climbed through the wreckage to steal a bottle of wine. I know this will shock you, but he was drunk.
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An intoxicated and shirtless man in Westerly, RI opened fire on his neighbor's home using corncobs he shot with his homemade PVC potato gun. Drunk Rhode Island Man, while we do not condone your actions, we salute you for Making America Potato Gun Again.
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A very bad man in Maine is charged with a very weird murder. Prosecutors say Bruce Akers used a machete to try and decapitate a neighbor (is "nearly decapitating" worse? because that's what happened), then buried the victim's remains together with the partially decomposed carcasses of deer he killed previously.
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I'm not sure what is going on here, but from what I gather, this is a South Korean gentleman who installed a third party engine performance chip in his expensive Mercedes Benz. The new chip caused his car to have mechanical problems. When he took it to the dealer, he was told that his warranty was void because of the chip. The gentleman became upset and did what any of us would have done in a similar situation: used a golf club to smash his $160,000 Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG.
Highlights: 1:26, when the club head gets stuck in a hole, and 1:49, when the club head breaks off and he gives the car a couple of half-hearted thwacks with the stick. At 2:00 he returns with a fresh club and renews his attack with cool intensity.
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Alaska Woman is giving Florida Man a run for his money.
A 26-year-old Pennsylvania man with a history of making bogus emergency calls to 911 dispatchers recently complained of chest pains so he could ask medics to help him fix his air conditioner. Read the rest
Oh, Albuquerque. Never change.
Felipe Cruz mugshot, courtesy Pompano Beach, Florida police, via Sun-Sentinel.
A man tried to rob a Chase Bank in Pompano Beach, Florida on April 10. He selected a teller behind bulletproof glass who refused to give him money, and presented a robbery note with his demands: "Give me the 100s 50s 20s now. Do not set the alarm. Hurry!!!" When the teller rebuffed him, he ran away but left his stickup note behind.
His demands had been penned on the back of an online job application form, complete with the handwritten username of CRUZFELIPE36. It also included a password, Gioielli stated in a federal criminal complaint.
Police are still looking for Felipe Cruz. Read the rest
William Adams, the Arkansas County Court-At-Law Judge caught on camera mercilessly whipping his screaming 14-year-old daughter while yelling obscenities at her, has finally lost his job after
a primary challenger defeated him. His victim had anticipated the assault, recorded it, and released it only after she became an adult. Warning: the video shows physical and emotional abuse and will make you angry. Previously. Read the rest
As @pourmecoffee tweeted
, it's unfair that there's no video to accompany this all-too-brief story of a gentleman in Iowa
"who says he was using his lawn mower to chase a gopher." The man has been told to stay home and "sober up," because allegedly, some booze may have possibly been involved maybe. As long as the man had pants on, however, that seems like mere speculation. Read the rest
Handsome Dad of the Year (a former brunette) took out the garbage without fail, did the family shopping, and is remembered fondly by his step-daughters/first-cousins-once-removed. Also, outside the home, he discovered something called "relativity"
. Jennie Dusheck has a great follow up to a story that Xeni posted about earlier today. Read the rest
A Virginia man was beaten on Saturday, March 23, for drawing a dick on his roommate’s face.
Arlington County Police say 31-year-old James Watson passed out on his couch after a night of boozing. Around 5:30 AM he woke up to find, to his outrage, that a crude rendering of male genitalia had been scrawled upon his very face in permanent marker.
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Jarman Gurman, 26, had an argument with his girlfriend over "The Walking Dead" early Monday morning. So he shot her in the back with a rifle
. [NBC] Read the rest
The Smoking Gun has details
on the case of a Pennsylvania gentleman who was so angry his hamburger had a piece of unwanted cheese on it, he allegedly assaulted a female McDonald’s employee. After knocking over a trash can and throwing a high chair, the patron attacked her and attempted to destroy her cellphone, according to Springettsbury Township police. Read the rest
David Allan Thompson, 27, was arrested for ripping off a bag of marijuana seized as evidence from the Charleroi Regional police department, in Pennsylvania. Mr. Thompson had gone to the police station on his own volition, according to reports, to "help out" cops. "Police said that back at the station, Thompson apologized repeatedly, telling police, 'I just couldn’t help myself. That bud smelled so good.' He also reportedly told police he couldn’t believe he was in trouble for 'taking a little bit of weed,' especially since he had stopped by to give them information." (MSNBC) Read the rest