Stormy reveals Trump's penis oddly resembles 🍄 this video game character

Apparently, you are looking at the President's penis. Read the rest

Mysterious moving lump on woman's face turned out to be a worm

Over five days, a 32-year-old woman in Russia took selfies to document a strange lump on her face that moved from under her left eye to above it and then later to her lip. She finally visited a physician who reported a "superficial moving oblong nodule at the left upper eyelid." Turns out, she had a particular kind of parasitic worm, Dirofilaria repens, living under her skin. From Live Science:

Humans are "accidental" hosts — in other words, not where the worms want to end up — and once a worm gets into a human, it typically can't reproduce.

The worms are spread by mosquito bites, and human cases have been reported in parts of Europe, Asia and Africa, the 2011 report said. The Russian woman said she had recently traveled to a rural area outside Moscow and was frequently bitten by mosquitoes, according to the new report (in the New England Journal of Medicine)...

The Russian woman had the worm removed and made a full recovery, the report said.

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Our long national NECCO nightmare may soon be over

Since 1847, non-discerning Americans have been eating slices of flavored chalk branded as NECCO wafers. With the company possibly closing soon, they're panic buying the inedible grim-tasting "candy" to torture one last round of guests or trick-or-treaters with their terrible taste in candy. Read the rest

Poop-themed toys rule New York Toy Fair

New York Toy Fair is the world's largest toy show and its trends are a preview of the toys that will fill the shelf this Christmas; that means that you need to get ready for an enormous variety of poop-themed toys, including poop-shaped squishy balls, the "Flush n Frenzy" toilet-flushing game, "Don't Step in It" where blindfolded players try to walk an obstacle course of turds made from modeling clay, and "Plunge It," where players try to pick up poops with toy plungers. Read the rest

Report: Trump told porn star to spank him with 'Forbes', maybe one with him & Ivanka on cover

Get your barf bag handy before you read this post. We're not joking. Read the rest

UK retailer refunds money over bleachy, rotting christmas turkeys

Britain's largest supermarket chain has refunded customers who said the Tesco turkeys tasted like they were soaked in bleach or were rotten.

Among them was events manager Kirsten Shore, from Stafford.

The 29-year-old was hosting eight guests alongside husband Dan. Her mother had bought and prepared the turkey which was kept in the fridge until it was cooked.

She said it wrecked the meal, which had cost £250, and made guests sick. She took to Twitter to contact Tesco.

Image caption Events manger Kirsten was one of a number of people to take to Twitter to complain about Tesco turkeys

She said: "I took a mouthful of turkey and spat it out. It tasted of bleach and everyone else realised the reason everything was a bit funny was because the gravy was made from the giblets.

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Top 5 filthiest areas in an airplane that can make you sick

People are 113 times more likely to catch a cold when they're on an airplane, according to a 2004 study in the Journal of Environmental Health Research. Why? Because the inside of a plane is a cesspool of germs, that's why. Read the rest

Chestburster roast turkey

Prepare a turkey as usual, but add a prosciutto-wrapped pork loin with spaghetti teeth into the just-split chest cavity of the bird, garnished with dye-enhanced gravy and cranberry sauce -- YUM! Read the rest

When the antibiotics run out, maybe we can use GMO maggots to stave off infection

NC State University researcher Max Scott and colleagues have engineered a strain of transgenic blueflies whose maggots secrete human growth factor, which they hope to use to fight infections in patients with non-healing wounds for whom antibiotics do not offer any hope. Read the rest

Howto make Zombie Mouth cupcakes

The severed, animated, flopping zombie appendage is a staple of horror films, and these zombie-mouth cupcakes look like someone has decorated an amuse-bouche with a bouche coupé. Read the rest

HOWTO make a realistic brain-cake for your zombie parties

How To Cake It's "Deep Red Velvet Brain Cake with Fondant Brain Tissue and Raspberry Jam Blood" is pretty much exactly what it sounds like, only it has to be seen to be believed. Read the rest

Chest-height puking toilet in a nightclub bathroom

This Czech nightclub has a special standing-height toilet for puking into -- but I bet they don't have urinals that sort piss by the booze you've consumed (meanwhile, check out that "puke here" ped-glyph!). Read the rest

Which kid's slide is more disturbing?

In order to out-gross the Dude Wipes post earlier this week, which inflatable kid's slide is worse? Goatse Dog, or Pervi Luigi?

It's still hard to top this classic video for weird hilarity:

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Beer to be named after Joe Paterno, late coach who enabled Jerry Sandusky sex abuse

For fans of beer honoring a sex-abuse enabler, this one's for you.

Cocoa Pebbles ice cream tacos

The secret is in making a dough out of melted marshmallows, butter and smashed cocoa pebbles, which you can roll out into a crispy taco shell. Read the rest

Snail eats lunch

There's something really unnerving about this little snail eating lunch. It's too gross to be adorable, but too adorable to be gross. Are his little antennae an emotional reaction? Read the rest

We just discovered 'badass snails' and an asshole bug that eats its mom from the inside out

Wired writer Matt Simon writes about weird animals. Read the rest

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